Monday 31 December 2007

Closer

29 and 30 December - Weeks end during the holiday period all seems very strange - Lilith seems very chilled out all things considering, she doesn't get along very well with her temporary neighbour but she never really seemed to anyway - and who knows what could happen.  Finished a book, had late notice dinner guests including one who was very highly strung and seemed to live in an alternate inverse gravity universe that requires him to spend most of his hours upside down - went to the Timew New Roman Beach (as opposed to the Verdana one) which was rather pleasant, especially seeing all the schlubs pulling their hair out as they looked for a place to park their automobiles - had some fuel and a movie in the afternoon (with appropriate recreational breaks in the interim) - 'No Country For Old Men' was actually quite good despite being a little slow.  I've always got a soft spot for a suitably menacing icy cold angel of death nemesis - but I should have been paying closer attention to the last scene.  Maybe I missed something.

Saturday 29 December 2007

Why Are Mechanics So Unkind?

27 and 28 December - A late night romantitude attack from a broken hearted DJ meant less sleep than one would have hoped for (there were other factors that contributed but I'll stick with this one) and the holiday period doesn't extend to all at this time of year.  Fumbled around with spreadsheets for a while but couldn't seem to crack anything but also needed to get myself to a bicycle shoppe of some type for some urgent repairs.  Now, Chevette only weights in at a slim 9 kilos (at last weigh-in anyway) which is nothing when carrying up or down a flight of stairs - however, when you have to lug her from the bottom of Woollahra up Queen St and across Oxford (a miniscule ride but a surprisingly long walk) you start to feel it - with the chain wrapped around her hub like a xenomorph face hugger's tail around the throat of a hapless victim you can't even roll her.  Not having established much of a relationship with the overpriced Paddington based cyclery I wasn't too surprised at the standard mechanic response (leave it with us and we'll get to it sometime) - I tried to negotiate a speedy resolution but they were having none of it - can we do it now, No, we're too busy.  Can I do it myself?  No, no personal repairs in the workshop.  Can I buy the tool needed to fix it?  We don't have it.  Can I borrow the tool and do it outside?  No.  I'm stuck here mate.  Yes, well I was in an accident last week on the way to work and I had to go home (Your point???) - eventually managed managed to pique up enough interest in the intractableness of the problem to secure the services of a hammer and a pin to knock the chain out and back to her home but why do they have to make it so difficult?  It's not my fault you're stuck in a bike shop - so don't make me pay for it.  But thanks for fixing my baby all the same. Spent an evening - still living the post party life of Slurms McKenzie - but things seem to be improving on some fronts.  Late night thoughts of Excel formulae may yield results but it's doubtful - one wonders what my purpose will eventually be?  Survived another day and took a journey back to Gordon to pick up a few bits and pieces - stationery, tools, cat, time capsule, hookah, spare binikis (ah, the detritus of life).  All seems good on the eastern front - drunk too much post local pub crawl (a lot of toffs around this neck of the woods) - hangovers are never pleasant, especially when combined with machine grade noise making from slurmed out small men (who are, it must be said, doughty).

Wednesday 26 December 2007

I'll Bast Your Turkey; I'll Cook Your Goose!

Christian Holiday Period 2007 - Working from home is all well and good but productivity can be somewhat hard too maintain, still, one must admit that it beats the alternative.  Dissipated celebrations this year - a most enjoyable ride to the north side almost ended in tragedy with Chevette's tricksy loose chain coming loose near the end of the journey - one bump too many on Merriwa St and she skidded to a halt as the chain wrapped itself between the hub and sprocket, no issues staying on but no chance of the chain coming loose anytime this year it seems.  Still, alternative transportation measures could be arranged which was some mollification but not enough.  Ate enough to almost be sick with the fambly - did some present exchanges as is the pagan tradition - drove home with a broken bike and heart.  Christmas with children is different to Christmas ... without children - but, it's all well and good, especially when one is able to dine on a new animal - a Dickens Stylin' Goose with stuffing made from rice rather than breadcrumbs always goes down a treat I'm supposing ... much watching of fillums at various venues and readings of literature broke up the semblance of a holiday ... not sure what the rest of the year might hold.  As per usual, this time of year offers no respites.

Sunday 23 December 2007

What It's All About

21 and 22 and 23 December - People kept on yelling at me in the morning which is never a pleasant way to go about the day - didn't seem to get much better and although I've committed to task myself with tasks over the upcoming period I did get the definite sensation that things were certainly winding down with a good percentage of the people around me gearing up for apparently well deserved breaks.  A cancelled race slowed down the evening somewhat although a fair amount of riding was done - some inappropriate evening entertainment mulled some tension that was building up and a morning of mucking around and an afternoon of cleaning served to be rather therapeutic.  However, there's only so long a gentleman can spend in that particular endeavour and with the sense of holiday period building an evening at pub followed by gargantuan meal in the apparent style of the homeland.  There aren't too many Slovak and/or Czech restaurants in this town but there is certainly one - mumbling the few Czech words I knew I haphazardly ordered both entree and the largest sounding main they had and was rather shocked at the sheer volume that beheld me even from the first dish of crumbed and deep fried foodstuffs - I don't quite recall ingesting this meal in any of my visits to the centre of Eastern Europe but I am sure that it is eaten there.  Couldn't even bring myself to finish the starchy carbohydrates and was floored by the main - pork steak, pork schnitzel, a kransky sausage, more fatty roasted pork, potato dumplings, bread dumplings and sauerkraut in both green and red varieties - I did drink a few beers prior to consumption but hadn't eaten since substandard pancakes in the morning - I was bested by the meal ... soundly.  I managed to force myself through the lion's share of the meat (although there was plenty to feed a pack of hyenas should they have cared to be wandering through the Cross) and at least sample a portion of the extras but there was plenty left afterwards and i was wimpering as the meal was forcibly removed me - unable to take the defeat.  Cleared my head with a ride but still couldn't get the taste of ash (and pork) from my mouth.  Relatively bleary in the morning but once again the ride cleared me right up as I prepared myself for a morning of snorkelling at Clovelly - pretty murky water which wasn't helped by the sight of paper disintegrating right before my eyes (one can only guess what that might have been) but there were fish, I got wet, I didn't swallow too much water and it served to create the best cigarette I can remember smoking in an age ... this is what the habit is all about!  When people ask you why you smoke and you can only shrug back because for the life of you you can't imagine why you think you enjoy that vapourising tobacco you've just inhaled.  Occasionally, just occasionally (unless you're one of those lucky one-a-day-ers who mock you with their control who enjoy each and every coffin nail) you get one like this.  And it's awesome (but yes, not exactly worth it).

Friday 21 December 2007

Hacked Again!

Fool me once, shame on you ... fool me twice, shame on ... uh ... you can't fool me again!

Thursday 20 December 2007

Slurms McKenzie Lives On

December 18 and 19 and 20 - So tired, so tired.  Plagued by Excel formulas as I try to rest - despite not being able to sleep because of the numbers coursing through my head I did manage to make it in and turn some of those thoughts into working spreadsheets of action.  Had a bit of cheap steak action at the Captain Cook Hotel where some aggressive parking turned into a friendly exchange with someone who we probably didn't want to have a fight with (even though the gentleman who was accompanying me was quite doughty although small). 
Dealt with very excitable little people - had to carry one of them a little bit further than I expected to have to carry her - did get fed for my pains though.  Oceans 13 is better than Oceans 12 but worse than 11 - but still not that good a film - have been avoiding watching it for weeks now so I'm glad I've got it over and done with.  I think I need to pay more attention though.  Frangelica's rear tyre had a dramatic end - after riding her fixed for the past few weeks it's been fairly shredded with the strings dangerously exposed - had bought a replacement tyre in the morning but hadn't changed over - as I took the final skid at the bottom of the McMahons driveway I heard a very satisfying pop and it was all over.  Could have dramatically reduced the frustration of fixing by replacing before the tube was torn asunder but that wouldn't have been nearly as much fun.  Survived a small dinner party but exhaustion still frustrates my plans - not everyone is on holidays.  Still the fatigue continues but after another stressful day I escaped to do the '30' themed alley cat in celebration of Pretty Boy's arrival at that age - too laden down with technology and other valuables to race so schlepped it as a checkpoint and was home in time for Arthur's Pizza (significantly improved from my last visit there and so, so much better at Paddington than Bondi.  More web duties in the evening but at least someone's site is no longer under construction.

Wednesday 19 December 2007

Wilderness

16 and 17 December - After sorting through the detritus of the previous night's festivities - broken beds and excessive glassware seemed to be the most prominent offenders - spent a little effort in the AM trying to convince one of the younger accomplices of the benefits of attending the Bronte Beach Courier Christmas party.  Despite little success in having a happy camper adult veto meant a threesome took the journey.  Arrived a little late but just in time for the annual hill climb - having broken down Chevette for cleaning I had Frangelica with her hill friendly small gear as my steed hoping this would help my chances - unfortunately road bikes and those with meatier thighs than I meant that winning was not really in the cards but a respectable middle position was attained.  No issue with the initial steep climb but after it flattened out I found myself spinning on burning lungs and a very painful journey to the top, to the top, to the top, bop ba bop!  Maybe if i quit smoking I'd have a better chance but that doesn't really seem to be on the cards at the moment.  Had one of my better performances on the track stand but once again, not enough and threw a frisbee around for a while which certainly seemed to change the little one's tune about actually wanting to be there.  After getting lost and rained on on the return journey went to see 'Into The Wild' (after more convincing of the little one ... adult veto has its advantages - there seems to be a lot of films out there which are based on books I've actually liked at the moment).  Movie didn't really convey the whole "stupid kid" theory (a la Timothy Treadwell) that was alluded to although ultimately dismissed by Jon Krakauer but it certainly did give me thoughts about opting out for a while.  Responsibilities are very annoying.

Monday 17 December 2007

Sunday 16 December 2007

Tis The Season

14 and 15 December - Struggled through again, did make it in on time this day although the people who I was supposed to be on time for ... weren't.  As it were.  Had a small beer out at Observatory Hill after work where the unions were trying to recruit the messengers to join the valiant course by bribing them with sausages.  Some people are cheap, other's aren't.  A good idea certainly but with the vast majority of long timers all giving it a miss and the lion's share of the actual messenger community being transients coming through town or peckers just doing a season (not me, not me) I feel the chances of success are rather small.  It's a nice idea though.  After dining on the northside and going back east I had to deal with Small and Doughty's intoxication and, far more difficult, had to deal with the fascinating conversation of the Scottish guy - managed to pinpoint the strange noise that happens when my stereo is boosting it's bass - for some reason the light fittings are in tune and vibrate in sympathy to the Nightmares on Wax or whatever baritone happens to be playing at the time.  Saturday was spent riding in and out of town - cursing the world and trying to do last minute holiday season errands (at least I've got the goose under control) - a nice evening on the balcony ... once one gets started on Cosmopolitans it's difficult to go back to something less toxic - still, the clarity that the cocktails affords is better than the fug of wine - it allowed me to enjoy the impromptu striptease that made me retract an earlier statement.  And I'm not complaining.

Friday 14 December 2007

Does It Have To Get So Personal?

12 December - A bit of drama on the western front throughout the day - experienced some new experiences in the human resources department and on the corporate ladder with both the rungs below and the rungs above - one seems to be going better than the other but am sure all will end well in the end (although one must remain optimistic it can always go the other way).  It's good to know that others are more stressed than I am - in any event, after one escaped I soon followed in order to pick up me mam from the heart of Redfern to grant her the boon of Burgerfuel (and is there a better way to treat one's mother?  I think not) - not only did I sup mightily but I also finally filled up my card with stamps which will mean one free hamburger next time I'm in the neighbourhood (and let us hope that it is none too far away). 
A comedy musical with comp tickets is twice as funny as one paid for - not only did we have brilliant seats thanks to me charming Mr Benetto but the performance was perhaps even superior to the one that bemused us so many months ago.  And who knows, it may have even made a convert out of the maternal.  A bit late ... 11 and a 1/2 years too late, it's bennelong time but it's over now.  Hurrah. 
Fighting the alarm clock still and not doing too well at this stage - still struggling in the murky depths of the HR world - breakdown in communications technology resulted in me getting into trouble (again) and substandard pizza and overpriced drinks didn't do too much to resolve it - a second dose of musical political satire also didn't do too much to improve the atmosphere - the Wharf Revue just seemed to fail where Keating! succeeded - maybe it was the amateur production values, perhaps it was the show tune style music or maybe, just maybe, it was the fact that they just weren't very funny.  Somewhere along the way I heard Johnathan Biggins sardonically dismiss Mr Benetto's effort as populist entertainment but at least HE was funny and HE could write a tune ... and what a tune, I still can't get 'I want to do you slowly out of my head' and I can't even remember (and don't want to remember) a single chord of the show that was apparently ' ..riotously funny, brimful of sardonic attitude and performed with elan and skilful dexterity'.  

Wednesday 12 December 2007

Another Good Point!


Good Point!


Do I Get Time Off For Good Behaviour?

10 and 11 December - Lack of verifiable consciousness in the AM meant a vital piece of communications technology did not make the journey to the office with me - this had a knock on effect of altering the rotation of the planet and got me into some slight trouble which required my silver tongue to escape - was overwhelmed by the dearth of calls that had been inflicted upon the poor device in my absence - a sum total of three (3!!!) missed calls - two from me calling to see if it was on or near my person and one from Mr Small But Doughty to locate it once I was in the residence - sometimes a guy just wants to be wanted.  For some reason I'm still wanted at the confidential place - I suppose I was pleasantly surprised to get the letter saying my probation was up but not quite sure what this means in the scheme.  But who ever really does?  Celebrated a birthday in the evening with a quietish evening of slight intoxication and spent the rest of the evening trying to work out how to get my f**kin' new router to work - is this punishment for years of siphoning of free bandwidth from those too lazy or generous to secure their hotspots?
So tired, so tired.  Learned a bit in the afternoon on how people try to impress CEOs and spent an evening sociamalising with the partners - wobbled home after finding out how surprisingly young the boss of bosses is - created a new masterpiece with blueberry banana bread and watched a very bad Canadian film about a very bad serial killer but couldn't make it to the end.  Maybe that's the punishment for one of my other bad habits?

Tuesday 11 December 2007

Monday 10 December 2007

Good Deeds and Life Lessons

8 and 9 December - It fast approaches - a day of toiling int he kitchen and on the streets to acquire bread for sammiches and other assorted ingredients to make pancakes of a surprisingly good consistency.  Had feet sliced by a disarmingly handsome podiatrist in an effort to scrape back the long term damage of being immortal - twas a long time coming.  In the afternoon found myself at a gallery opening - a bit postmodern but a half decent band and loads of free booze - and just walked in off the street - passed several others on the way home - definitely could take advantage of this circuit if i was a little younger and more inclined to crash parties.  After some late night shopping I think i may have overestimated my capacity - but that's for another day.  Did some fixie training in the AM - once you go fixed you can never go back (apparently) followed by bruncheon near the eastern beaches.  Got a bit lost in the clickerverse but found myself free to ride another day.  

Saturday 8 December 2007

The Day Rob McKenna Dropped Into Town

6 and 7 december - The results of the sparkle meant I would be late and was beaten in by the one who I'd thought would not make it and was disappointed by the one who I'd hoped would.  Not the only one to shirk their duties on this day.  After struggling through the day I found myself struggling with the salesmen at a vendor do - got really nothing to say to this crowd but it is my bidness so it must be done (have to say I do have a soft spot for one of the engineers though).  Missed out on the thunderstorms that are plaguing my city - flooded the lowlands, soaked the office workers and even killed a man (apparently) and all I wanted to do was immerse myself in the short lived nurturing of the clouds.  Another day at the farm passed with little event and took an evening at an overpriced tourista restaurant where I met a new relative from the other side of the world - the extremely well travelled Vlado from Bratislava (90 countries!  That's hard core) who seemed perfectly delightful, tis a pity the language barrier prevented a more in depth relationship - one of these days I vow I will conquer that one.  Still, stressed me out a bit as barriers seem to be the norm at the moment but got a good deal on a router, and after a little tinkering I finally seemed to get it to work.  Bet it won't solve my problems though.

Worst. Ad. Ever.

YouTube - Toyota Killer Wasps
What self respecting cyclist would ever put himself in an ad for an SUV?

Thursday 6 December 2007

Sparkle Sparkle

3 and 4 and 5 december - It was a while ago now but I believe there were some thunderstorms that were rather disconcerting to someone who was going to ride home but not as troubling considering that it was only a ride home and not the entire day (but I always found it rather fun to spend a day in the rain ... for the first few days anyway) - Summer Heights High is the best thing I've seen on television in ages, not that there's been too much that I've seen ... a stressful day followed by an even more stressful day, managing people is not always that much fun, especially when it forces you to miss out on a night at the movies - ripped scenes are no substitute, especially when they lead to far too late an evening of things that one shouldn't be doing.  Hermaphrodite may be small but she's doughty and sometimes that's all one needs and she took me to the black and white and sparkle (???) ball where I had something relating to a ball - didn't make a fool of myself which is always a positive at a work function but was probably a bit silly in taking her home.  Interesting to note the number of people who called in sick for the day and miraculously recovered to attend the festivities.  But then again, they're just kids.

Sunday 2 December 2007

Biketastic

1 and 2 December - A bikecentric weekend starting with a far too early wakeup call for young Dylan's coming of age (and coming into his first bicycle without training wheels ... but with gears which i was most disappointed with) - despite the plethora of five and unders all seemed to go rather swimmingly with minimal loss of skin (although it must be said that it usually grows back) - excellent venue at Sydney Park, was too distracted last time i passed through the playground to notice that all of the street signs and traffic lights were actually a playpen and were a miniature streetscape (in my daze i think i must have been under the impression that i'd become a giant for a few minutes) - managed to drag out a reluctant someone to the final screenings of the Bike Film Festival - a bit of bike porn and some great traffic footage but all in all not the kind of films i'd write home about but did give me some much needed inspiration to get off my a**e and perhaps have something for next year.  Met the organiser the next morning and talked about pretty much every subject that one could talk about - very interesting guy (for a vegetarian bike riding hippie ... Miranda Devine would have loved him) and didn't let him talk me out of realising what must eventually be realised.  Did make a slightly poor judgement call on how the night should be concluded but i stand by actions regardless.  Sunday morning involved another far too early wakeup for more bike shenanigans with a very cruisy alleycat through the history of Sydney - points based, mostly by chance and lady luck was not smiling on me that day - pleasant day to do it though.  Some very hard northside riding back and forth - had a completely non stop Pyrmont-Gordon journey that avoided the bike path on the harbour bridge (the non stops are very inspiring but can be kind of tiring) and a similar return with a brief McMahons pit stop that yielded very little in chocolate fudge consumption.  Pity, I like chocolate fudge.

Friday 30 November 2007

And The Winner Is

28 to the end of November - What's it all about?  Fatigue plagued me throughout the AM due to being beaten soundly during the time when I should have been sleeping but there's not much that can be done about that - despite the abuse I ended up coming back for more later on.  Volunteered my labours to some partial setup of venue for the upcoming Australian Pulitzers (not completely sure that it was all required - why would you possibly get someone to set up an entire hall and not put the paper covers on the chiars?  that's like ... that's like ... getting someone to do a letter campaign for you ... they write, print, stuff the envelopes then give them back to you for putting the stamps on and they then take them and send them out ... or something ... quite strange).  Fancy pants Bite Me hamburgers just don't seem to cut it when compared to the Burger Fuel version - very messy as well.  Early morning wakeup call to head out towards North Ryde - piked out at the last second and got a taxi from town (I really wasn't very sure as to where i was supposed to go but i would have found it in the end) - great thing about visiting vendors is that you can wear shorts ... if it's a customer you have to put on a suit (why is that?).  Escaped early for an evening of baudiness and revelry - got to walk the red carpet and drink vodka martinis and see respected journalists and others make complete idiots of themselves.  No one got hurt unfortunately but am sure that next year that will be remedied.  Some strange taxi journeys - rather than fight for the limited number of taxis available ended up randomly sharing them with strangers who had their own stories to tell.  Drank way too much myself and suffered massively the next day  but that's what annual leave is for ... 

Wednesday 28 November 2007

Foursome?

Did I hear that right?  Tony Jones making a joke about the Howard and Costello couples having a foursome?
Tony Abbott: Peter and Tanya Costello and John and Janette Howard never had a foursome at the lodge.
Tony Jones: I don't even want to picture that.

My God Is A Vengeful God

26 and 27 November - Escape from the office and into the seminar - admittedly learned a few things but they were probably things i could have lived the rest of my life without knowing and it wouldn't have mattered much at all - some of the talks went better than others but when all was said and done it was actually quite dull (and the luncheon and prizes were not nearly as nice as the previous one) - the house is feeling slightly smaller and doughtier with the return of one of its inhabitants and to celebrate took an evening of comedy at the Fringe - not amazing but certainly not bad - MC was probably the best of them but that's not to say the others were completely awful - female comedians with dirty mouths never really do it for me so escaped in good time (male comedians on the other hand ...)
Despite starting the day with a good deed Hermes decided that I should be punished with a flat - wasn't carrying a spare and the rear tyre was so shredded with skidding that it would have been pointless to even attempt a streetside repair (none of this helped by the semi-torrential downpour that had hit the city) so found myself doing the long slow walk from Central Station to the city - fixed by the end of the day so i could ride northside and be indecisive about what would provide the best nourishment in the evening (I wanted pizza but it wasn't to be).

Monday 26 November 2007

Mad Scientist

25 November - A day of food experiments - starting off with the doughnut like yeast pancakes (where did I get the yeast to start the culture?  Trade secret, my friend) followed by the long awaited New Dawn Chicken.  After years of searching and research into a meal that had taken on almost mythical dimensions in my mind I finally constructed the fabled Chicken in Salt Crust (with Cabbage Michelle Grattin on the side) for a select few guests - the bird is steamed in a 33:66 salt:flour shell and it turns out very nicely indeed - can't eat the shell which was disappointing but we'll see what happens in the next incarnation.  Productivity still low - but that's what happens when you live in a socialist country (and how strange does that still feel?).  Oceans 12 is a hell of a lot worse than its prequel and Sicko is a hell of a lot better than its predecessor.  Who'd have thought.

Sunday 25 November 2007

What the world is saying ...

Howard Government Suffers Defeat In Australian Parliamentary Election - WSJ.com

What the world is saying ...

Reuters.com

What the world is saying ...

A New Face for Australia - TIME

Australia Chooses ... Revenge of the Nerds

24 November - Got some inspiration in the AM (montages always help shake off a hangover), tasted freedom for the first time in a while and followed it with eating hamburgers and voting.  One vote doesn't count for much but when you're marginal it can ... but in my case, it didn't.  But it didn't matter - drove (drove???) to Randwick Labor Club to bear witness to the new age of Australian politics.  The faithful are a random lot - given to vocal vehemence against the 'enemy' but for the most part just happy to let off steam and rant for a while before happily settling back into the smug satisfaction of finally living in a country not run by John Howard.  And some of the faithful just get really, really drunk (and hats off to the party for providing free booze for the entirety of the night). 
The stat numbers have a hypnotic force in them - seats are called when it looks pretty safe to call, the important ones flick back and forth from the won to the doubtful as the statistical chances show leaning in different directions, but the numbers moved inexorably to one conclusion - victory for Labor and the rare improbability of the decapitation of the Liberal party.  If you watched the numbers it was difficult to decide when it was really time to celebrate - sometimes it looked dead certain then back to safe but still all too possible for it to go the other way but it was a lot earlier than expected when the completely civil and proper transfer of power occurred - both leaders gave absolutely proper speeches of humility and etiquette - thanked everyone under the sun (but not God, apparently ... even the Christian) and gave inklings of sound bites that could possibly be crafted into memorable quotes at some stage - and it happened.  Labor government - a slightly dull man but ultimately likable and capable and the kind of leader a country like ours needs in the world we now live in.  Both parties seem so similar on so many fronts these days but that is because they are now smaller components of an ultimately global political system - a world economy that interlinks every country means we have less influence on changing the world and a responsibility to ensure that we fit with it - and in the 21st century that includes broadband and really embracing the connectivity that can happen with the science fiction level of technology that we have the potential for - that's why this country needs a new ideology to really embrace the new world and not just take advantage of the short term gains of having a big savings account to cater for old age and really try to improve the future - ensuring the world is affordable for all, we can really richly connect with all in the virtual world and ensuring we have a real world that can still be lived in.  This is the new country.
Best ten dullahs I ever lost.

Saturday 24 November 2007

Liberal Eve?

23 November - Had to deal with the thing that had to dealt with, didn't want to but it had to be done, probably should work on my body language skills a bit and learn to hide what must be hidden but next time it might be different.  Did some learnding - process could have been run a bit better and am hoping that things are going to improve a little in the future (as of 3:45pm they don't seem to have).  Said goodbye to a few who will be missed but also had a little bit of a reunion with a couple of members of the class and it's always good to do that.  Despite just a little indulgence (it's all relative) found myself to be on the edge of inebriation - pre-Christmas barbecue in the evening - decided to head there by the ancient transportation of foot leather in order to walk off the silliness - just on the other side of the electorate but am constantly surprised by the fact that it takes so long to get anywhere when one is not on wheels.  Excellent ingestions of solids, liquids and gaseous products which prompted another journey by foot to clear the head.  And now it is clear. 

Thursday 22 November 2007

Politics and The Hedge

21 and 22 November - So many meetings, so little time - learned something, could have learned more, the politics of the bidness - why is everything so hard on a Mac?  To spite them for trying to make everything easy Windows does all they can to keep the silver warrior out of the business world - Frangelica took me out to Willoughby where low cholesterol comestibiles were consumed and productivity wasn't as good as it potentially could have been - did engage in a little high seas action which is always exciting but took the lazy way home which is not - have finally managed to sample the well regarded local 'all you can eat' pizza bar which has been recommended as both a place of decent comestibiles and a 'great space' but have decided that both reviewers should review the review - pizza eminently average and what kind of a space is it if one can't take indulge in more than one vice at a time?

Wednesday 21 November 2007

Daze

19 and 20 November - I felt like I was in a shooting range today - two voluntarys and two involuntarys (one of whom seemed to have a lot of trouble working out what it means when you're fired ... never a happy situation but one wonders why she applied for the same role four times the next day) ... and more to go!  Lovely day for those who were outside I expect - for those inside cigarettes and doughnuts don't mix very well. Somehow managed to survive the disco daze at confidential - theme days are pushing the envelope - but did manage to recover somewhat at Burgerfuel (and on Tuesday double stamp day no less - have been thwarted from a burger's worth of stamps by their bizarre loyalty system but one must be loyal if one is to be appreciated) followed by muso biopic which was suitably forgettable (good music though). 

Monday 19 November 2007

Oh No, Not Again

18 November - What could have been an early morning wakeup call thankfully wasn't - caramel hair and hangover notwithstanding (but that's what comes from going to a community hairdresser and holding a Go Johnny Go Go Go night) - fortified myself with localised pancakes which were of a decent quality and took a trip back town towards Circular Quay to retake my position as First Assistant Frustration Ventor where a little bit of filming was done for the next LostSheep masterwork - this was followed by watching a not so masterful period piece in the early evening - had misgivings about Elizabeth the first time round and could feel Mel Gibson rolling in his grave at the grave misuse of the horse mounted inspirational speech before the troops cliche - if I have to see another one of those in this lifetime I am going to scream.  Seriously, this insanely overused standard movie setpiece is becoming less and less tolerable as each movie goes by - what was inspiring to the point of parody in Braveheart ("They may take our lives but they will never take ... OUR FREEDOM!", which even then I had my misgivings about) is is now just a cringeworthy - Russell Crowe in Gladiator ("Release Hell!", Brad Pitt in Troy ("Immortality!  Take it, it's yours!"), Dennis Quaid in Dragonheart (the less said about that the better ... did he even talk?), Colin Farrell in Alexander (although it must be said that this at least had an original take on it ... crossing to the bird was cool) and it would have taken a lot to ruin this epic but Vigo's turn in The Lord of the Rings did no cliche no favours.  Cate Blanchett hasn't helped the movement.  My mouth tastes funny, i don't think i liked the rice salad.

Sunday 18 November 2007

What If You Held A Party And Nobody Came?

16 and 17 November - Despite having every intention of calling in sick in the AM i did find myself at the place of bidness where productivity was not a high ambition for the day - escaped the clutches in the daylight but that's only because we're in DST - an evening of trivia made me realise how much i miss the crew when at such activities - some questions I had in me but far too many obvious misses and there just wasn't the support network in Years and Sports - we could have destroyed it and all had a fine time sailing away from all the troubles that hinder us on the shore.  After what was probably a few too many tasty beverages for some of us the long ride back to 2025 took a little longer than it sometimes can - after all, an army can only move as fast as its slowest man (or woman!) and there was a narrow avoidance of police intervention caused by a light that swung too much and a cyclist who didn't swing enough but nobody lost their licence.  Tasks of the day included getting hair cut (with free splash of colour - what's a splash?) from the community hair salon and drinking beer in the city to strategise on the worst way to find a car parking space near the Rocks (involving quick trip through Wedding Central and Kent St and a tour of the north side of the bridge ... my navigation is only good for two wheeled velocipedes ... I've always said that when I'm in a car I'm not to be listened to) - some test filming successful but at what cost? 
After an afternoon of catching up on YouTube zeitgeist the evenings poker shenanigans are looking increasingly dire.  At this stage, I don't expect to lose too much money at least.  And lo and behold I didn't lose (too) much.

Friday 16 November 2007

Genius

The best handlebar brake configuration for a city styled single speed I’ve ever seen

Thursday 15 November 2007

5 Days Later

14 and 15 November - Day 5 and the virus is still here - seems the strategising has paid off somewhat and could relax a little more - found myself invited to a small drinking function on the north side which was probably not the best idea considering my current state - Ben Boyd Rd is very steep and goes for a lot longer than i remember - and on the other side I probably consumed more alcomohol than was prudent - whether it was coming anyway or not I can't really say but found the hack which has been absent for quite some time starting to make its presence - was sent off home to recover which meant instead of sitting at my desk coughing and sneezing i was sitting on my couch coughing and sneezing.  Less infectious to others certainly but not exactly a cure all - found a new long cut to the house from the top of the road which probably won't get used too much but will be infinitely preferable during the rain.  I just don't feel like I've got much to say right now.

There's Love In This Pancake



Wednesday 14 November 2007

Astrology is Garbage

http://www.badastronomy.com/bad/misc/astrology.html

Ephavescence

12 and 13 November - As the disease slowly takes over my ravaged body I think back to the time that was and all the hopes and dreams ...  The pseudoephadrine delirium is causing a bit too much floridity in my fingers right now which is not exactly what i need.  Despite accusations of being a Typhoid Mary i couldn't resist the lure of the office for some reason - against others better judgement i thought the long delayed visit to the parents could only be made via velocipede - the Specific Highway is not the most fun journey to take, especially at peak hour and when the sun's going down (apparently not the best time for dragons either) - I think i may have sweated out some of the viral invaders anyway.  Evening's television seems to have dropped in quality - and we're only on the eve's week of the blessing of summer TV when it gets even worse than it is now.  A late afternoon seminar on Tuesday meant not escaping the clutches of the confidential zone until 830pm - this is definitely not a habit that can be repeated.

Sunday 11 November 2007

What's The Union Movement Ever Done For Us?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=184NTV2CE_c

Blinded By The Sound

10 and 11 November - It's been lurking for a while now and has probably been residing somewhere in an inner gland for a week or two but finally the virus that's invaded my body finally seems to have broken through the outer defensives and has left me feeling rather crappe.  i don't think it's a very intelligent virus but it may have managed to coordinate something with my internal coordination and a late night visit to pub with some inopportunely located iPod headphones led to a freak whack in the eyeball and the dislodging of the left contact lens which was impossible to find.  Have been rather lucky on the contact lens front for quite some time now but when one pops out in a pub with a floor that's littered with glittering broken glass it's safe to say that the contact lens doesn't want to be found and even if it was it's doubtful that you'd ever want to put it back on your eyeball.  Despite the lack of vision did manage to watch a plethora of movies courtesy of those who shall remain nameless - very few of them I'd ever want to watch again, even (and i hate to admit) the Keanu Reeves classic that kept me alive so many years ago (I'm not a believer in the the morals of Robin Williams beard movies (and it can be a beard movie even if he doesn't have a beard) but laughter can occasionally be decent medicine).  Met the infamous Collins Senior who wasn't as sinister as his reputation might suggest and had a decent luncheon and even a dip in the ocean but lack of health kept activity to a minimum - and so it goes.

Saturday 10 November 2007

Promo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ka1zH2_qC_Y

I was there but I'm not there.  Very cool little video although the music didn't get such good reviews - I didn't think it was too bad.

First Blood: Part II

8 and 9 (is it 10 already ... this is becoming a bad habit) november  - Somewhere along the way I've lost the housemate but am comfortable in the sure and certain knowledge that he's eating better Thai food than I am.  Getting very wet going in and out of work and not wearing any underwear and wondering what the best way to avoid responsibility is and also occasionally wondering what the hell I'm doing here.  Some people buy me a sand-witch and I buy sand-witches for others - where did the day go?  You can always get good advice from pretty boys but you must suffer the consequences of asking (and i do, gladly).  Getting fed on a regular basis is always a good thing even it means suffering the somewhat ...
Used the morning to work out a new route through to Redfern from the North Side (not that I need it but it must be found) - inspired by the Vo - over the bridge and down the Hungry Mile towards a careless and carless (although pedestrian heavy though probably not so bad on a week day) Darling Harbour cruise and nipping into Harris St where anyone can find their way from - one would have thought that this would be the safest bet but someone got their first bike blood and I couldn't be happier.  

Thursday 8 November 2007

Happy 7-11 Day

7-11 -  Was so rushed after sleeping in in the morning that I found myself hurtled towards the city with no breakfast (no breakfast!) and no socks to replace the ones soaked on in the morning commute and no belt to keep my pants up (and because I've been watching my figure my trousers seem to have grown two sizes).  Found myself at a technology seminar (with a replacement belt) that started off quite interesting (the latest news on what's happening in the laptop world) but soon diverged into the fascinating world of virtualised servers, virtualised desktops, backup storage solutions and a host of other things designed to send someone to sleep (I think i was supposed to be the IT guy there) - in any event, they fed us well and i scored some prizes that were actually pretty good (mp3 player, funky mouse) and some that were not so good (a surge protector ... basically, an overpriced double adaptor).  And one can never complain about prizes.  Found myself walking into a 7-11 in order to find some potatoes (probably not the best place to look for potatoes) when two strange young giggly men advised me that it was November 7 and therefore the 7th of the 11th (in this country anyway) and hence it was 7-11 Day where if one walked into a 7-11 and said 'Happy 7-11 Day' one would be granted the boon of a free slurpee.  And you know what, i got one.  If it was a different era I might have been able to milk that one beyond mortal means but that was a different era.  There are no more Glenmore sausages and I'm still trying to work out why Die Hard 5 (aka Die Hard 4.0 aka Live Free or Die Hard) was made - was it a truckload of money dumped on the door step or was he feeling that John McClain's saga needed to be told.

Breached Ultimatum

5 November - Ah the glory of piracy, the high seas and salty air is good for the soul and the uncouth but merry companions make for good company over a measure of rum or something like that.  In considerably less pain than was expected after yesterday's ride down the coast but can't really be too surprised considering the amount of stopping and f**king up about we did to get there.  But still, considering i was one of the very few who really did it hard core should have pushed the boundaries somewhat - was yawning a lot today but perhaps that was because people were boring me.  We really need to get a barbecue - very good for the occasional sausage that needs cooking (and sometimes some people just like a sausage). 
Once again, found myself faced with another themed day at the office - Melbourne Cup once again and once again I was supposed to dress up (at least had an excuse to wear the silly hat even if it silliness is a relative term) - if only I'd actually known the names of horses beforehand and didn't rely on the bookmakers bet I might have noticed that a horse named 'Efficiency' was just a sure thing but then that would be gambling and I don't really believe in that.  Was more impressed with the evening's entertainment which could well be the return to form of the seminal 90s man Tarantino (I'm not of the opinion that Kill Bill (1 or 2) was a return to form) - Death Proof was f**kin' awesome with cool dialogue, great homage to films I never watched, brilliant mixing of eras in a way that most time travel films fail miserably and a car chase scene that's up there with T3.  Got rained on though.

Sunday 4 November 2007

Somebody Needs More Attention

All Hallow's Eve - theme days can be stressful - despite not being in North America i found myself being dragged into feeling slightly guilty about not getting into the pagan spirit - a last ditch effort to find something at K-Mart failed to provide something suitable scary to fit the bill but a trusty old mesh shirt meant I had something that was at least really not corporate nor slothful and was better than nowt and also a bit braver than a two dollar Scream mask that some settled for.  Still, some people take this stuff far too seriously.  Far too seriously.  Unfortunately bugs are in the air and they're making some people ill which is definitely not boding well for week's end developments.  Trying to decide whether Leopard is the Vista that Mac had to have.   Illness seems to be causing a bit of stress around my world but can be fixed I'm sure ... staying up far too late these days, have decided that I don't really like the tone of Mr Hamilton's Scorcher ... i don't like two button suits but i do like trousers without pleats and cuffs ... the Orchard still has no soul but at least it's got decent food these days ... Alleycats are great but I think I've been out of the business too long - three checkpoints and I blanked on all of them ... nobody can trackstand like the Pretty Boy and very few people can hop kerbs like Dottie ... well, the house is officially warm now - almost midnight visit to the grocery store where we battled the security guard for access to kosher foods and a morning run around town to get meats which I'm hoping wasn't canine (although truth be told, I wouldn't be too disappointed if it was, i am trying to increase my animal range) and various forms of alcoholic beverages and a barbecue on which to cook said meats and to drink said beverages around.  Standard waiting around for people to turn up - came in a torrent (more like a bit torrent actually, a few people here and there then a gush as we hooked up with seeds and peers then a gradual let off as we came to the end of the download) - Robespiere regaled me with his tales of Bangkok (im glad he took my advice), lots of babies with far too much energy, others had less energy ... most gone by 9 which was good for me as i had riding to do the next day.  Thunderstorm did not bode well for me and i was beginning to have second thoughts about the suitability of Chevette to take me down to the Gong, the fact that the two messengers who'd shown interest both piked out on the evening before made it even worse.  Upon dawn awakening I was slightly heartened by the fact that the lightning had stopped but still had to roll through the rain to the start where i ensured the team was bedecked in team jerseys and spoke cards and we took off through the downpour - a little bit of sliding initially but as luck would have it, the clouds parted and it wasn't long before we found ourselves in pretty fantastic sunshine - a few bottlenecks made the ride a little less smooth than it could have been but the two descents that had me worried were very manageable on my trusty steed - as far as i could tell there were only four identified fixie riders (two in our group, one spotted by me and one by another) which is a pretty select group considering that there were up to 10,000 people doing the ride.  Compared to Wales it was pretty easy but despite the hare overtaking the tortoise many many times throughout the day he was soundly beaten - don't fight the fate of fairy tales I say.

Wednesday 31 October 2007

Dance To Your Own Beat (My A**e)

The whole point of a silent rave is that you are silent.


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No Hot Food

29 and 30 October - Was that directed at me?  Is DST good because I get to stay out playing longer or is it bad because I've got to get up earlier?  This morning it seemed to be the latter - certainly seemed to be the excuse de jour for this place.  Took advantage of the old industry for a few personal deliveries - would have loved to have ridden out to collect myself but rolling away doesn't really seem to be an option at the moment.  And that is a shame.  Eastern Promises has the intensity but an ending that disappoints.

Monday 29 October 2007

Novelty House Item No 1 - Papuchado Cookies with Cinnamon

A kosher snack for the semite with a sweet tooth.  All the way from merry Israel straight to Bondi Junction Coles - despite being made with unleavened flour (or whatever it is that makes this particular biscuit kosher) it's actually quite nice - there are not enough biscuits out there made with cinnamon.  It's similar to the 'What's a better babka?  Chocolate or cinnamon?' conundrum.  Why can't you have a chocolate AND cinnamon babka? In any event, it's interesting to note the cultural specialities at the Coles here compared to Broadway - no Asian aisle here (well, not one i noticed)

A Beautiful Mission

Meshing with Meraki - LachStock
This is something I must do - if I'm going to visit a prostitute I might as well share her around.

Sunday 28 October 2007

Honesty Is The Best Policy

Sometimes it's nice to pay for things online - Radiohead just made a cool three pounds off me (which is less than the quoted eight US dollars that i've read as an average and more than the one pound that is the word on the street). Very interesting post about it what this could mean for the future of information peddling (http://digg.com/tech_news/P2P_vs_Radiohead_s_free_Rainbows_why_P2P_can_be_a_hard_habit_to_break).
After several months of living in 2025 with the relative confidence that we were surrounded by a plethora of free parking despite recently being warned by Mr Gray that the no stopping sign meant you weren't allowed to park out the front i was rather amused to see every car out the front of the house to have a $185 ticket! Discovery made more satisfying that the small and doughty man had slipped the net by a matter of minutes.

Next Time, Swallow The Red Pill ...

26 and 27 (28!!!!) October - I think there were a few more goals kicked at the Confidential Place but I can't quite be sure - in any event, the day was over eventually and i made my way to the Slip Inn for a work drink or two to celebrate the departure of a couple of people I barely knew - made it through the front door before a meaty hand found itself on my shoulder and I was soon informed, not very politely, that i would not be allowed to enter the place of such utter sophistication because of the 'no shorts' policy.  Thought about trying to argue that technically they were 3/4s, i was expected in there and also, how could i not be sophisticated, i have a 2025 postcode but decided that an argument was not really how i wanted to spend the beginning of the weekend so i rolled up to Martin Place where better company (perhaps not so sophisticated) was to be found.  Discovered one of the pitfalls of piracy was randomised files and took a posse up to the video store where little could be agreed upon but a minor consensus allowed us to take on a small chest of discs for evening watching.  Ghost Rider, where do I start? I think it might have worked as a comic book.  Oh, it was?  Well, there you go.  A rather hardcore Saturday that started with fixie traffic dodging across town to the homestead, then my first real pillion ride out to Eastern Creek followed by go karting at the raceway (only really seemed to get it near the end by which stage i was fighting for DFL which i didn't get ... damn) then back cityward for a night of sophisiticated dining at 'aqua' - atmosphere slightly marred by the fact that there was a Christian swim meet happening at the pool below but did score a new animal on the list in the form of the tiniest portion of rabbit possibly ever committed to a dish.  They did have nice bottles of water though.  Who'd have thought, one year ago, that I'd be where I am right now and what does the next year entail?  I hope the next animal is larger.  Whale may be a mammal but so is rabbit.  A pleasant ride to Manly where I had the worst coffee I've had in a long time, little chat with a toothless old courier (why do they always lose their front teeth?  I think I got out at the right time) and back to the other side where our sins caught up with us.  Some people have no self control, I'm glad I'm one of them.

Friday 26 October 2007

Etiquette In The 21st Century - The Double Up Return

24 (or is 25 - it was 25) October - Cracked the elusive formula to do some particular finessing of data and had a small victory, also discovered in my online forum travels a new and rather elegant solution to the problem which is slightly less processor intensive than my version. Had to dress up for the board despite having zero contact with the board and also had to deal with wet underpants for the first half of the day.  Had a rare afternoon caffeine fix and was very disappointed that i missed out on the post 1430 double stamp - also reminded me that i'm still waiting for my Burgerfuel membership card (have not joined a hamburger club in my short life and i think it's time that i do); in evening had a run in with the cunning workers at Guzman and Gomez, the half decent Mexican chain that the small but doughty man dragged me along to.  Ordered the beef burrito sans beans and was a short way through when I realised they'd snuck a paltry poultrey version on me - it was still uneaten enough to be returned and swapped for the correct order and hey, if they're going to throw this one out then i might as well eat it, hmm?  This meant i couldn't really polish it off whilst waiting because it would hardly do to tuck in with gusto to something you disliked enough to return.  Was not long before i found myself in the enviable position of having my dinner doubled up but i wasn't to have the last laugh.  Upon the first bite of the replacement the thwarted cook had filled my new beef burrito with beans and was now rendered inedible.  Could i return it again?  In the interests of not causing a scene i decided it would be safer to just admit that this battle was lost and i ate bird on that night. 

Thursday 25 October 2007

I Like Škoda's But Not That Much

22, 23 and 24 October – Well, it's good to know that a certain somebody is no longer homeless although it does seem that I'll have to take care of the housewarming gift but that's what the bidnessman has to do.  Making some small progress on some of the fronts but not all - I'm quite curious as to the reasons why anyone would think I have the slightest interest in Kylie Minogue's comeback - I don't dislike her or her music but I don't recall ever advertising that I joined her fanclub.  Was suitably disgusted by the level of service at the Cock'N'Bull - we have no electronic buzzers therefore you cannot order any food (???) but the meal wasn't too bad despite being pipped at the post in finishing it by a small (but doughty) man.  First of the television wars was resolved without a shot being fired - very excited to finally get to see the Val Kilmer epic 'Real Genius', at least until I watched it.  Despite rave reviews by the Club it was not nearly as great as I'd hoped - typical college comedy with cold war overtones - it could have been a lot worse but I find it hard to sympathise with a bunch of geniuses who work out at the last minute that their 5 megawatt laser might be used as a weapon.  What's it going to be used for?  Ah, we'll let the engineers work that one out.  Not exactly as attuned as Robert Oppenheimer's grandiose statements of doom but it's good to see a pre-Iceman pretty boy Kilmer (he's really pretty unlike his bizarre looking co-star) doing what he does.  And another thing, why would a certified genius give a flying f**k if his "professor" tells him that he might not let him graduate?  What's a degree when you can build a laser beam??? 
Not sure what happened the next day but I presume it was relatively riveting but afterwards went to see Michael Clayton at the worst possible cinema for a Tuesday (although you could get a drink there so I couldn't really be too upset - not that i got one) - pretty slow but not so bad, always good to see the man get it stuck to him even when it was a woman (who was relatively sympathetic when all was said and done).  Had my first ride in the rain in a while - not so much fun when you're wearing jeans (not so much fun when you're not in the class) and had to do a bit of driving later on.  Growl.  I don't know, I just don't know.

Wednesday 24 October 2007

Potential Problems with Arrays

Array formulas are very powerful. But they can have several problems (of which I'm only listing the one):

Only a small number of Excel users use them regularly. So if you'll be using them for the first time, you might not be able to find a co-worker who can help you with them.

Monday 22 October 2007

Where's The Worm?

20 and 21 October - Wha ... who?  A clean house speaks very little of its occupants - how can you know anything about something when all of their secrets are hidden away?  However, a good day's filing has a certain amount of satisfaction when it's been waiting the best part of two years. Now, that's mostly done it's time to start thinking about paying back the government for all its done for me (and I mean that in the nicest possible way for all the ASIO spiders who might be the only real audience for this particular missive).  I've a feeling I'm going to have to be very careful with the Porsche sunglasses as they've tried to escape my clutches on several occasions now even when I've been doing good deeds.  But what can be done about that?  A little familial reunion to see the boy off at the airport, amusing seeing the frequent flyer try to tell the check-in guy how he should be doing his job.  Good thing that we noticed the Fusion razor blade's electric action before it was dropped off in the plane (we had to explode your luggage sir because of the vibrator (not YOUR vibrator, it's inappropriate to imply ownership)).  Ate some banana bread (baking is very important in any relationship). 
Early morning wakeup call to try to catch the tail end of the Spring Cycle, first time I've ridden over the bridge in about a week (woo); it's much more fun when you're fighting cars and not the critical mass crowd - nonetheless a fair cycle to celebrate spring, took the road to Rhodes, found myself in familiar territory so took the train back homeward and off to a party in the afternoon.  Why would anyone design a toilet seat that won't stay up?  I'm a big believer that anyone using the bowl should be aiming for the water but sometimes there's spray and having a seat that falls down as soon as you push it up is just asking for trouble.  It must have been a woman who invented it.  Is that a sexist comment?  Coming from me I suppose it must be.  Watched the great debate in the evening - according to the worm which I didn't see it was taken by Rudd but most of the elections I can remember in recent years were won by the loser - and how many voters actually watch the debate?  Far more people see the dodgy ads with the unflattering photos of the other side's leader and the ominous gravelly voiceover declaring the horrors of what might happen if that party will win.  Many questions, many answers (some of which were even answers to the actual questions) and a bit of school boy baiting by each side.  I know who I'll be voting for anyway. 

Sunday 21 October 2007

Stop Me If You've Heard This Before

6 and 7 October – A ride through town to recover from previous night’s excesses was welcomed, breaking of fast in Surry Hills was rather disappointing though, food stuff intake was slightly improved at La-Paris Go in Bondi – had been absolutely assured by small but doughty that the food was superb – well, don’t know if it was the place itself or just the suburb and the day but any place where you have to wait half an hour for breakfast (or luncheon) is probably worth going to – was impressed enough by it to give it another go but not so much that I’ll be making plans to get there again. Waitress was surly in a good way which is preferable to being just surly.
Am definitely in need of a tourist’s guide to Woollahra and Paddington – an evening stroll through the backstreets revealed that there’s a lot more to it once one breaks free of the Oxford Street.   Is it just me or should Frank Oz stick to the front side of the camera?  If the audience reaction was anything to go by it was probably the funniest movie to hit cinemas since Dirty Rotten Scoundrels but this film like that film had about as much entertainment value as far as I was concerned.  Now, a gay dwarf lover is a pretty f**king funny concept but it can’t carry a film.  Nobody’s accused me of lacking a sense of humour for not enjoying this film, thus far, but that did happen when I expressed distaste for his previous fillum – is it the lowest common denominator?  I think and hope so.  Golf was cancelled, don’t know if I should be disappointed or not – the invitation piqued my interest but not so much that I could really feel disappointed by the lack of it – I’ve got to stay away from Bondi Junction.  Malls don’t suit my temperament very much.

Saturday 20 October 2007

Hatchback Cars by Škoda

17 and 18 and 19 October - Watch out for cars in the HR fast lane because you might get hit.  Apparently this place can be a bit of sieve - i don't think i'm one of the wholes, at least I don't think i am but apparently there's a drop in the whirlpool.  Afters found myself at a rather prestigious media event - 'so, who are you with?' seemed to be the dominant question in the early stages and I was getting a little tired of using the 'I'm NEW media' line but it did tend to shut people up for a little while and I got less sympathy than saying I was there for moral support.  Fontly speaking, the presentation could have been a bit more exciting but I suppose I should have worked on my mental telepathy before making any giant claims for MS expertise.  Three or four glasses of wine seemed to push the limits of this young gentleman, especially when he was being accosted by a couple of swingers.  Irristibility can be a drawback at times.  Really shouldn't have ridden back to the north side but my potential ride decided that she'd prefer to take the Silver Service cab rather than the bike friendly station wagon behind her and after bombing back over the bridge all it took was a wee sip of beer and a wee puff of nicotine to send me horizontal.  And someone at my dinner!  At least it was replaced by a breakfast.  Stresses and stresses but ah, McMahons.  Confidentiality and a ride back home along the cliff's edge, lamb is very expensive these days, probably because so much is being spent on genetically engineering a tailless sheep that doesn't need to be mulesed.  A bit of a testoserone fuelled cooking frenzy and some warez swapping made for a fine evening of gentlemanly exchange but it also meant another slight sleep in which I'm hoping isn't going to become a habit but it might be.  I'm getting a little confused about what's to be done at times - took a circuitous route through the eastern suburbs and found myself at Chez Collins and the home of the new baby - another one, a plague upon this Earth I say.  Just a bunch of lemmings - but, like lemmings, they're very cute.

Wednesday 17 October 2007

Predigestion

16 October - Finally managed to get to the top of Chester on Chevette, unfortunately mostly reliant on the old connection which is disappointing.  More HR woes, meeting to meeting, somehow managed to get a rather awful luncheon too late in the afternoon for my liking (Subway is to the Big Ass Sandwich as to what a Big Mac is to a Burgerfuel burger - despite having decent volume it's pre-digested and can be inhaled and swallowed with the minimum of resistance - you will never hear of any human being suffocating on a Subway sandwich being stuck in their throat).  Blah blah blah.  It's much harder to get excited about the confidential world as it is the other one.  Tax returns are a pain the arse.

Monday 15 October 2007

Where Are You?

12, 13, 14 and F**kin' 15 October - Friday, if i can remember back that far may have involved some HR dramas which i think i talked my way out without too much trouble (it really can take up a lot of the energy of a day) and felt obliged to calm myself with a sizeable quantity of beer with some fellows who seem from the past - was rather pleased to win a cool eight dollars playing the who wants to be a millionaire game despite using my two only two lifelines on the first two questions.  Rushed back to ready myself for a belated return to the RSL for trannies for what seemed to be a work function considering the company i was with.  even found myself face to face with the reprobate who created the spreadsheets that are making my life a living hell right now.  upstairs was karaoke.  there are many different ways to experience this type of recreation - there's the smoky (not so much anymore) coffin that could be sardine jammed with bad singers and cheap booze, then there's the sordid late running boozy wineo bars that have many remember with dread and embarassment the next morning and then there's the gay ones with an army of failed Idol contestants and show tune spouting queens who often can sing really, really well.  And there was me croaking out Primal Scream Rocks and not getting booed off stage.  Somehow recovered enough after minimal sleep to ride to Gordon (on the new route over the Cahill Expressway but this time with the last minute decision to ride the roadway of the Harbour Bridge for the first time which was surprisingly easy when all was said and done) - had to do manly tasks on top of the roof (with minimal safety equipment which i was rather surprised about) then back southward again.  First victory in chess or checkers for the first time in over a decade.  If i was actually any good at all then i might have had the humility to throw the games in light of the competition's experience but it happens so rarely that i'd take every victory i could get.  Made a playdough (sorry, Das) dragon and assisted in making gourmet items for consumption (i inserted a fair share of effort for whole proceedings, i think?) where there was later delicious consumptions with fine company (and little company) but it took everything out of me and i did the unthinkable.  Crashing out on a Saturday night in absolute physical exhaustion.  Vacated myself earlyish for the start of training (back in the cleats on Chevette now) and took the slow, stop-starting but relatively picturesque journey down towards Ikea and back.  Refueled with a burger, took the very long route back to the north side for commiserations and collapse, refueld again, seemed to put things back together but still in the haze of almost complete loss of active energy ...  This is the longest gap between a post since the days of battery saving, Third World desolation where i still managed to find a hotspot in the darkest parts of the world.  I really don't get Scoop - I never really liked Woody Allen and am still yet to see the great ones he's meant to have created - but this is just slow and strange and kind of boring but at least it's not one of Adam Sandler's fantasy worlds can be exceedingly bizarre at the best of times but i cannot bring myself past the nauseating quasi plot of a man falling in love with someone who can't make new memories. The memory screwed up plot cliche has been used far too many times and his version is advocating what is really sexual abuse and not a love story.  In reality his character has the moral equivalence of a man who falls in love with a woman in a coma.  More HR woes - a charity screening (that i pretty much abused i'm sorry to say) - i think my Excel skilz are still there, that's kind of reassuring.

Thursday 11 October 2007

A Night With The Fonz

11 October - More dealings with the HR side of life, return of my own management which has brought me back to reality - some afternoon strategising and stressing over things that happened before my time.  Well, had found myself with an invite to what could have proved to be a very interesting night - our gentleman Prime Minister had given very short notice that he'd be speaking at the Sydney Institute and that the topic was unannounced.  Thinking it might be a major scoop for Evil Melon i thought it would be something that just had to be seen (as it was, there was no election announcement so I was disappointed on that front).  After rolling up to the front entrance in jeans and a Skin Grows Back t-shirt i thought there might have been an issue with getting in but my name tag was there and there didn't seem to be a problem as long as i shelled out the tithe (are you media?  No, i'm NEW media ...) - well, he didn't fill the ballroom and whilst he didn't announce the election he did announce something that might be a key issue for what this next election is to be about.  The unfinished business of reconciliation with indigenous Australia - absolutely it's of national importance but i just don't think that this is the man who can bring it about. Whilst he did admit that he may have been somewhat wrong on the importance of the symbolic act of reconciliation he was still adamant that an apology should not be given (so much so that he couldn't even use the word lest someone might misquote him ... would i do such a thing?) and that he would not ever think of Australia as a country whose heritage we shouldn't be proud of.  I love my country.  I'm proud of my country.  I hate my country for some of the things that have been done in it's name.  These are not contradictions.  I also have to disagree with the proposal to recognise the idea that the Aborigines were the first people of this nation.  This is absolutely incorrect. The Aborigines were the first inhabitants of this land.  This nation, which was either founded in 1788 or 1900 (depending on which way you want to look at it), did not include Aborigines as people of this nation until 1962 (maybe 1948 if one had a very good lawyer).  In any event, for what it's worth if this thing ever does come to a referendum I think I'll vote for it.  I just hope that it's not this Prime Minister who's going to put it there. 
I can't believe I shook his hand ...

Stratospheric Ambition

http://mobile.theonion.com/content/node/67854

BWD RIP?

10 October - Who dares to wake me from my slumber???  Mornings and their ilk can be most disturbing at times - didn't get my breakfast upon awakening to dramatic rescheduling of the AM activities - did an escort run to Redfern and doubled back into town (can't complain too much about these events - they expand the ride substantially (although a substantial proportion is at a somewhat reduced tempo), they give me a chance to exert my authoritie and they're for an excellent cause) where i had a halfway decent old school substitute breakfast to bode me through the morning.  Productiivity wasn't at a peak but my empire was plugging away at a decent pace, have high hopes for what it could become.  Some more escort work was required in the evening and had a bit of a reprogramming of evening events due to canine illness (could this be the end of Zebedeeeee?  Not my favourite dog of all time but one that has been a stalwart fixture in my life regardless and one who will be sorely missed from this world).  Its no surprise that Mr G's favourite song at high school was one of Mr Islam's ditties.  A brief respite at Irish pub (which actually is pretty Irish now that I have the experience to determine what is) that turned out to have a trivia going (despite crapping out on some woeful misses - the original king in the Lion King, how could i have not known that arcane bit of trivia - and dreadfully missing the Grand Duo of Sax'N'Binna and the unbeatable triumvirate of the Grand <<insert name here>>), could have stayed because of the tantalising incompetent competition but decided it wouldn't be that night. I have women's underwear to wash and it must be done.  Lucky me.

Wednesday 10 October 2007

Hate The Office, Love The Power

9 October - Early morning is meant for breakfasting and mental preparation for the horrors of daily life - not exercise - first time I've shared Centennial Park with the AM crowd - I don't know why but I felt a lot of resentment towards the lycra clad warriors - perhaps it's was the overweight frames riding roughshod over their underweight frames, perhaps it was because I had to hold back and let myself be overtaken time and time again - nevertheless, I don't think this will be habit forming.  The day of work held new wonders of the human resource experience - managed to delay any meaningful decision for as long as possible but eventually had to cave and not be a Robert Ford - there's always going to be someone disappointed in this world - it had to be someone, unfortunately it was going to be someone who was going to take it worse than others. But what are you going to do?  You're going to commiserate with eating some BurgerFuel and seeing a one woman show.  After seeing that show I was surprised that there was more than one woman in the audience (is that right?  well, that f**king play wasn't).

Great Minds Think Alike

I've long considered puns the lowest form of humor. But Batman & Robin made me wonder if puns double as the lowest form of human communication, lower even than limericks, angrily hurled clumps of feces and commenting on internet message boards (just kidding, I love you all, you beautiful, beautiful readers, you).
http://mobile.avclub.com/content/blog/my_year_of_flops_case_file_74

Tuesday 9 October 2007

On The Other Side

8 October - Interviews, interviews, interviews, interviews ... interesting to be on the other side of the table though.  Adventures of the day involved rescuing a sick co-worker from embarrassment (who may or may not be pregnant).  Went to support the Labor Party in the evening (my presence should be support enough) that had a contender, a could a been and a few stalwarts from past and present.  Bondi Beach does not have the dinner support that I expect from a beach side 'burb but did manage to eat some ribs which stuck to my ribs (as it were).  

Sunday 7 October 2007

The Fast And The Furious

6 and 7 October – A ride through town to recover from previous night's excesses was welcomed, breaking of fast in Surry Hills was rather disappointing though, food stuff intake was slightly improved at La-Paris Go in Bondi – had been absolutely assured by small but doughty that the food was superb – well, don't know if it was the place itself or just the suburb and the day but any place where you have to wait half an hour for breakfast (or luncheon) is probably worth going to – was impressed enough by it to give it another go but not so much that I'll be making plans to get there again. Waitress was surly in a good way which is preferable to being just surly.
Am definitely in need of a tourist's guide to Woollahra and Paddington – an evening stroll through the backstreets revealed that there's a lot more to it once one breaks free of the Oxford Street.   Is it just me or should Frank Oz stick to the front side of the camera?  If the audience reaction was anything to go by it was probably the funniest movie to hit cinemas since Dirty Rotten Scoundrels but this film like that film had about as much entertainment value as far as I was concerned.  Now, a gay dwarf lover is a pretty f**king funny concept but it can't carry a film.  Nobody's accused me of lacking a sense of humour for not enjoying this film, thus far, but that did happen when I expressed distaste for his previous fillum – is it the lowest common denominator?  I think and hope so.  Golf was cancelled, don't know if I should be disappointed or not – the invitation piqued my interest but not so much that I could really feel disappointed by the lack of it – I've got to stay away from Bondi Junction.  Malls don't suit my temperament very much.  Blah.

Saturday 6 October 2007

Still In The Bidness

4 and 5 October – Cigarellos and other foul scented cheroots can take their toll on a man especially when there are meetings, meetings, meetings and meetings one didn’t even know where on.  Sometimes its good to watch a taut political thriller, even one by the Bruckaneer and filled with all manner of famous actors and famous actors’ sons.  It’s also good to rewatch a film when one has the benefit of recently seeing its ancient prequel – one scene, which seemed relatively pointless at the time, was all the more enlightening when taken as an homage to the predecessor.  Also interesting to note the prevalence of foul language which one only really notices when sitting next to an eight year old (you’re not allowed to use those words until you’re older ... Like when you are nine).  Fool that I am forgot to drop the vids off on the way into work but lucky for me I still have some friends in the delivery bidness and it was a quick call for rectification on that front.  I do remember feeling nothing but disgust for a girl when I did a DVD return for her back in Vancouver – now it doesn’t seem so lazy.  It seems that I’ve adjusted enough to the toe clips in order to be able to climb up hills again – also interesting to note that my new affectation seems to have earned itself some fans, it could be a brave new world in the Sydney messenger scene.  After suffering through a Polynesian theme day and battling with the stresses of HR decisionology I went to relax by helping out the Green Dog with her alley cat for Peckers only (what a nasty term) and before I knew it I found myself in the competition (my entry was validated by the fact that I was no longer working and a shortage of competitors).  Been a little while since my last alley cat and this one was actually quite a good one – relatively simple, just hit checkpoints and do random tasks but at night time and in the relative rush hour of after six meant it was certainly not breezy.  A couple of very good checkpoints – Loading Dock of Tower 3 Darling Park, a bitch of a get to even during the daytime but even worse at night, the unknown to me at the time Butt St for naughty photos (which put me in good stead for the grand prize) - almost got run into by another competitor, made a bad navigation decision at one crucial point and had Chevette’s chain come off on busy Elizabeth street meant for a very interesting ride.  Came in fourth which was not too shabby but won the only prize worth winning in the end (Best Buttocks 2007 – great prize when you apparently don’t have any) and proceeded to get relatively drunk afterwards. But certainly not as drunk as other it seems.

Wednesday 3 October 2007

Father, Why Have You Forsaken Me?

2 and 3 October – Some aggressive drivers (and riders!) had the temerity to interrupt the smooveness of the early commute – for a Tuesday it was pretty much what one would expect a Tuesday to be like – fought through the baby section of Davey Jones’ locker – the best thing about babies being born within days of each other (and of the same gender) means presents can be sought out with a minimum of effort.  Escaped the clutches of the freedom place and hitched a ride out to the Prince of Wales to see the latest offering to the world – Coco Rose is small and pretty and quiet and is bound to lose one of those qualities in the future and I’m hoping its the right one.  Was very disappointed by the quality of Arthur’s local franchise offering – I can’t be certain since it was heresy but what I heard is what the boys is being saying is what I heard but apparently the management types decided to turn one of the most popular pizza joints in the country that sold some of the best pizza I’ve ever eaten (but possibly not as good as the German offering although that could have been the experience and not the actual foodstuff) into a franchise (was it always a franchise?  I don’t know) by refurbishing the cool, dark interior with bright lights and white tiles and replacing the pizza with the “original” Arthur's recipes which are just the same as half the gourmet pizza places in town.  Well, the audience has spoken.  Very upsetting.  Almost more upsetting than the hours of tech investigation into the punishing home network situation (which is probably Hermes's (God of Communication?  Definitely God of Messengers ...) way of punishing me for all those years of sucking the spare bandwidth off the teat of the multitudes who actually pay for the stuff.  Even recently daughtered tech support guy couldn’t help.
For some reason (I can’t think why ...) a headache upon awakening which was not completely lost by the usually refreshing coast into town (perhaps it was because I was coasting).  Handed over to the router to the experts but I don’t think even they are capable of averting Hermes’ wrath.  Best laid plans are sometimes just that – it’s a Wednesday and Wednesday’s have a purpose.  One must find out what that is.

Monday 1 October 2007

Long Weekends Aren't That Long

1st and 30 Septober – Another speedy ride was just what was needed to shake off the remnants of the poker victory and a new route through Paddington (not so good) and across the Cahill Expressway to the bridge (very good) invigorated the senses enough to steel myself for a children laced extended drive to the heart of the Northern Beaches (a part of Sydney that inhabits a different dimension to the one I’m used to) - a little disorganisation put me in the driver’s seat as Alpha Male bar(BQ)tender and I had to shake off the oestrogen laced help that was pressing in on all sides – not much of a beach when all was said and done – seemed to be more of a marina that one would be more likely to put one’s boat in than one’s person (if one owned a boat to put in it as it were) but one could still while away the day in relatively fine fashion (could have done without the wind, most hated of the elements, but one must take the weather as it comes).  Saw one of the newer specimens to the human population on the way home – young Sarah seemed mostly content to eat and cry and Erasmus wanted everyone to know that he was still going to be the centre of attention for a little while longer.  Best laid plans of a cinematic trip gave way to the home room substitute – the prequel to Enemy of the State would have been a very exciting movie experience were its audience not threatening to pass out from semi-exhaustion whilst watching – certain strategies had to be put in place to require proper attention.  Little bit more riding in the morning – out but not into the zoo, considered kaffirnating in Moss-Man but realised that there’d be no nicobating so had to wait for an overpriced one in the PM’s burb.  It seems my pancake skillz are back in form – no record breakers but at least they were working and not falling apart like recent attempts.  A bit of a battle on the home wifi front – can’t for the life of me to get it to work like it’s supposed to, sporadic success in some areas leads to failures in others but I have got something and that’s a sign that it will work in the future.  Got some photo retouching advice in the afternoon, visited the local beach in the evening, had the worst fish’n’chips I’ve eaten in recent memory and wandered the depths of the Junction trying to find a supermarket.  Local knowledge takes time.

Cheap Night, Expensive Day

28 Sand 29 Eptember – For some reason excessive evenings seemed to put me in a more relaxed state on Friday and despite being denied ... Something which I can’t remember the day seemed to pass without too much incident.  A few errands for the new president and a little bit of socialisation took me to old stomping grounds where I was informed that another one of my great ideas was stolen.  Me, Dion and El Presidente found ourselves at Town Hall for a silent rave – Dance To Your Own Beat™, basically an ego-casted miniature dance party that was far too noisy to take its assumed nomenclature – disappointed that it was stolen but glad to see it in action nonetheless.  Re-watched the Bourne Supremacy in the evening, I do like an icy cold angel of death nemesis – especially a vodka swilling, Russian dance music listening, ex-LOTR up comer.  Took a morning ride around the Green Witch, had a disappointing café, found that an afternoon planned luncheon had been cancelled by PJ and Kate for some petty excuse (ingrates) then took the freed up afternoon as an opportunity to purchase some new jeans (god, I hate shopping but at least the fact that we were in Newtown meant I got to have some sustenance from the NZ based In-And-Out challenger).
Slowly convincing the people around me of the benefits of the velocipede and a slightly tweaked Frangelica gave me a riding companion out to Leichhardt for a poker night – slightly less entertaining without the Scottish friend (but almost definitely a hell of a lot more efficient) and I wasn’t going to complain about the organisational changes because I found myself with a rather tidy profit for the evening (but not for the day).  Ate smoked drank, got some good news about an event that happened at 11:19pm and then took the slightly wobbly riders back towards the homestead.  The small but doughty man was pushed to his limits and experienced a minor version of what I had to experience a few months ago in the roads of the British Empire but he made it and I was proud of him.

Thursday 27 September 2007

Ah, Woollahra ...

25 and 26 (and 27!!!) September – Had to steel myself for a facilitator led marketing and brand seminar that made me choke up all my reluctance towards corporate led brainstorming and motivating exercises ... The fact that it started with me having to declare what my ultimate car would be did not bode well (nor a wary stand off with a weekend warrior who’d better learn his place) but was eventually drawn in and even managed to be rather fascinated with the reality of the mythical WiMax which is due to hit the airwaves sometime before the end of the decade.   Far too much running around without enough achievement – first work function in the evening, a night at the Imax (a heck of a lot better than the neck cracking experience of the 300) which was followed by a christening that took far too long to realise.  A few gains, a few losses, a few stresses ... I think I might have cracked something but I’m not sure if that’s alluding to something physically breaking or perhaps a new revelation in the world of the Interactive.  Another evening of labours – not very strenuous labours and liberal relaxants were applied to ensure that nobody was hurt but learned a few more bits of the world of web development and learned that wireless routers are a lot more tricksy and varied than they appear on the outside.  Hottest jaffal ever ... A decent cheese, a decent ham (probably not free range) and a good dense bread with liberal dosages of hot English mustard ... Unbelievable – I’ve eaten mustard many times and I’ve eaten many variations on the theme of hotness but nothing that burned so hot and so quickly ... The Blue Giant jaffal.
Stumbled back into the workplace again, intercepted a cyclist who was probably trying to escape 200 killer wasps (???) only to be accosted by the CEO pressuring me for those numbers ...
C: I want those numbers on my desk by noon, Johnson!
M: But sir, I’m not Johnson ...
C: No more of your excuses, Johnson, if those numbers aren’t on my desk by noon you’re out ...
...
C: Gladys, did Johnson get me those numbers?
G: No, sir.
C: Fire Johnson!
....
An interesting announcement that was good for some and not so good for others – managed to survive another day – took a journey out to the western world to apply my cultural learnings of PJ to make benefit great company of SGB – got it done, at least some of the niggling bits and pieces, I never promised anyone that I was an expert at this stuff ...

Wednesday 26 September 2007

Parking, Sex and Broadband

23 and 24 September – Hangovers are not my favourite way to start a morning but when they’re coupled with pancake mix that just won’t solidify it almost becomes too much to bear.  All the ingredients were there but maybe there wasn’t enough flour or maybe the frozen blueberries were lowering the surface temperature – they wouldn’t firm, they wouldn’t flip, they wouldn’t do anything that they were supposed to and I had to temporarily turn over the reigns in order to maintain sanity.  McMahons Point to Woollahra is a cool 26 minutes when nothing slows you down – the Stanley/Chester slope could cause some future injury so one will have to be careful.  The bed is now in one piece – not a screw to spare (or missing praise be) - and will be hopefully be used at some point in the near future.  Unfortunately my discount code couldn’t be found and despite calling the call centre and asking her to ransack my drawers unsuccessfully this meant further delays on breaking one of my long help principles but that day will come soon.  
First morning ride out to work from the new homestead was relatively successful – took a relatively direct route but a bit too steep up and a bit too steep down – there are many other ways to go and I’m sure I’ll try all of them over the coming weeks – bit of a blur but pushed through the day and followed with an evening seeing Mugh McKay and some shonky pollster who we’d been warned were presenting contradictory views on social research (qualitative and quantitative) but were so self congratulatory and in agreement on just about everything they had to say that I wasn’t really sure what to think afterwards – especially as I didn’t agree with Mugh’s view that we’ve been living in a dreamy world of backyard blitzing and self improvement obsessions and have been completely unaware of the world that’s passing us by.  Maybe that wasn’t what he was saying but it was a relatively pleasant way to spend an evening – think I made a mistake afterwards in the post talk wrap-up but I’m apparently very good at that.  I’m sure forgiveness will come – it usually does (eventually).  And finally, after a tremendous delay I’ve visited a prostitute.  Well, close enough.