19 August - Started off the day (besides the inevitable hangover) with house hunting with Sammy and Mike - I hate house hunting, did find a couple of potentials but only time will tell whether they work out or not. Got a little bit lost running around the backstreets of Waterloo and Erskineville - if i'd been working a month I bet I would have had no problems finding my way around but its still early days. Matt and Charlotte came around and we lunched down at the fish markets on the grilled platter from the Fish Market Café (just because it's grilled doesn't make it good - i've had better from there) before we headed back over the bridge where I had the arduous task of feeding Lilith (my old cat) down at M&Ds - wilst there took the opportunity to do a few administrative life details - took forever to work out how to use the washing machine, eventually worked out (was told?) that you have to turn the taps on (why aren't they on all the time?) and as I was escaping bumped into a drunken brother, fresh from best man duties of giving speeches and forgetting the rings who gave me a lift up to the train station where I made the arduous journey back to town.
Rode over to Mikeyville for a duty free vodka night celebrating mike's return from Europe and also headed out to the Stonewall, which hasn’t changed at all in the past year (and really, hasn't seemed to have changed much in 8 years) - bouncers on each floor are just as pushy and irritating as always as are the patrons. Whilst I did miss mike I don't really miss that little strip of the world ...
Monday, 21 August 2006
Be very, very quiet ... we're hunting houses.
Friday, 18 August 2006
Stop Showing Off
17 August - More big swathes of sitting around waiting for trips today. I know i'm at the bottom of the ladder but it is getting a little frustrating at times; that said, a few little rushes where I had a bag full of stuff and I pretended that they were all SHTs (when in actual fact, they had ages of times on them) and I had to do some careful routing to get them all off in the right order. Slowly getting on top of the crappy numbering of Sydney streets thanks to my map and the (mostly) helpful couriers who I bump into pretty constantly. The building security is far more intense than Vancouver - a lot of the time i'll go to a building and either be sent out to go to the loading dock underneath or I have to get a temporary I’D to access the floor. One building, Westfield at 100 William, all the couriers have to remove their helmets and leave their bags at the security desk before going up to the suites - I feel naked without my bag and helmet, very disconcerting. Had another fall due to trackstanding at the lights - I could feel myself tipping over and just couldn’t pop out of my clips (i've loosened them as much as they can go but they're a bit rusty and when they don't want to unclip, they just don't). Am pretty sure work is going to get a bit better as time goes on and people ahead of me in the queue start quitting (one thing I know about this industry is that there's a high turnover). Until then, just got to make sure i've got enough reading material to entertain me in the meantime.
Thursday, 17 August 2006
Gas Scares
The recent debate over the validity of introducing LPG cars to the roads seems to be taking a rather strange turn. Despite the fact that it was Howard who seemed to propose the idea as a response to high petrol prices it's a completely valid option. Australia has huge natural gas reserves and it doesn't have huge oil reserves so it would only seem natural for us to have an economy that is fuelled by gas rather than oil. The recent news reports of the dangers of exploding gas engines seems bizarre and is a complete media beatup - LPG cars have been on the roads in huge numbers for years - just about every taxi you see is powered by LPG and its only now that there's talk of LPG cars for regular consumers that this danger is being played up. LPG will not completely solve the problem of dependence on foreign oil - it doesn't have the power to push big trucks for the movement of freight but biodiesel can (and that's another story). Alternatives to petrol are going to become more and more prominent over the next few years and gas is just one of them. The real problem is not what fuels our vehicles but the fact that we drive them at all - one person in a vehicle that takes up as much space on the road as 50 people is just ridiculous. All on bikes I say ...
No Falls
16 August - Well, it SEEMS to be getting busier - certainly did a lot more trips today than the past couple but still takes an age in the morning before my first one and there's a lot of 'Standing By'. Confused my operator with some 10 codes and had my first major client stuffup (an express trip sent me to a place that didn’t exist although eventually managed to track down the guy on the street). Did a fair whack of riding and didn’t fall over although did feel a little bit of discomfort from adjusting to the new bike seat (wont go into details on that one suffice to say that it always happens when one spends 8 hours a day on a new bike seat). Have been visiting a few of my old buildings over the past few days but have not really bumped into anybody I know except for the old AAPT receptionist who didn’t recognise me anyway and have passed a few others I know but was just too damn fast for them to see me (if they even remember who I am) - not sure how keen I am to see people from the old life but am sure its bound to happen sooner or later.
Caught up with Mr Templeman the Younger and also Mr Templeman the Senior (and his lovely wife) for a quick beer in the evening and then wasted a key part of the night dealing with a particularly bad tempered and somewhat hypocritical young lout who was being a f**king pain in the arse - am sure there's a lacklustre reason for it but wasn’t too concerned with finding out what it was. Ended up eating a $5 Thai for dinner which was most agreeable and finishing off Simon Singh's 'The Code Book' - a rather capital explanation on the history of cryptography, notwithstanding the author's irritating haircut I found it to be most amusing (and like most pop science books, makes me feel smarter than I probably am).
Wednesday, 16 August 2006
Sky Is Falling
15 August - Work seemed to be a little busier today than it was yesterday but there was still far too much sitting around smoking cigarettes and drinking coffee. Had more problems with the data device battery dying on me repeatedly but there was nowt to be done about it - did a couple of sizeable distances including a trip over the bridge to the north side - still having a little bit of trouble navigating the city, most of the time I know where the streets are but the random numbering is still throwing me a bit and on the very few times when i've got a bunch of trips that require some proper routing i'm floundering a bit. Well, this hasn't happened to often thus far and that's not necessarily a good thing. Tried to show off with my masterful dismount in the morning where I unclip and jump off the back of the bike and let it fly out from under me only for me to catch it by the seat - had thought that this was pretty much down pat by now but when I did it in front of a bunch of other couriers my right foot clipped back into the pedal and I had my legs yanked out from under me and I was flat on my back. So much for impressing the locals. Weather was pretty much perfect all day until about four when a flashh hailstorm hit the city - at first it was just a little but within 10m it was like being stoned by fundamentalists - my helmet protected my head but my arms and feet were pocked red with little bruises from the hard ice. It never rained in Vancouver like this. Before I knew it I was riding through massive drifts of crunchy ice, great time to practice skids but a little terrifying especially on the downhills.
Spent the evening looking for some decent breakfast cereal - just when I thought i'd found the perfect breakfast cereal, the Lowan Honey Bran, I up and left the country then when I was over in Canadia I found an even better one - a granola (somewhat similar to muesli but crunchier) that didn’t have any f**king raisins or sultanas in it and I got hooked on that - now, I come back to Sydney to find Honey Bran nowhere to be found and nothing but crappy mueslis packed full of random collections of dried fruit. Have found Crunchola but its got apple in it, which has no place in a breakfast cereal, and it also costs a princes ransom, which makes a bowl of it with decent yoghurt and a banana a very costly endeavour indeed. What's a boy to do?
Tuesday, 15 August 2006
Good Morning, Biker 220 Standing By @ glebe
14 August - Today, Ex Biker 313 became Biker 220. After getting himself up at half six to make sure that his equipment was working (it was, they shut down the network over the weekend) and logging in at 730 it was 2 hours before anything happened. Basically, spent the morning creeping slowly towards the CBD asking every once in a while if there was anything happening. Work eventually came but slowly and there was hardly any reason to be rushing around - more often than not I only had one or two trips on me and it didn't require too much taxation of the brain to work out which way I was supposed to go. Unlike Van where one can use the grid system to find the various buildings (all the north south and east west blocks have a numbering system based on 100s) I had no problem findingstreets but would often pop up on George or Castlereagh several blocks away from the building where I needed to go. Far too many one way streets in Sydney too. Did get a bit of riding done, out to Surrey Hills a few times (and off the map as well, very annoying) and Potts Point and Darlinghurst as well. And you couldn't have a first day without that glorious tidbit of bike couriering - a flat. Happened not too far away from the City Bike Depot (don't know where I put my pump) and got it fixed without too much trouble (although couldn't get the chain tight and it fell off twice during the day, not so good on a fixie). Also, in what hopefully will not be a taste of things to come the battery in my Intermec PDA (all the trips come through on this, totally paperless and very little radio chatter) decided to conk out after a couple of hours (after it had been charged all weekend). Got it swapped out at our hub in the rocks so didn't get delayed too much but like I said in yesterday's missive, nothing pisses me off more than faulty equipment (apart from bad drivers, crappy dispatchers, bitchy receptionists, know-it-all lifers, potholes etc). All in all, no real mistakes and got a taste of what it will be like when it gets busy (if it ever gets busy). Quite pleased with the palms coffee shack, much better coffees than 885 (sorry Maria, but that doesn't go for you Emilie, you sour faced witch ... I hope this never gets to her, she could be nice occasionally) although Marcelo seems to get very irritated with me ordering my coffee with skim milk. Ade swung round to pick me up for some proposal writing - not before the census girl came around to pick up the census form that I hadn't filed out. Not wanting to deny myself being counted in the statistical jumble (and also not wanting to set myself up for the fine) I filled it out on the spot. Didn’t put Sith as my religion this time around - the last star wars series disillusioned the dark side for me and there was no section to put in lapsed jedi.
Monday, 14 August 2006
Sydney Pancake Quest - Test 1
13 August - I'm hoping that the reason that my work PDA tool isn't working is because it's on the weekend and they shut down the system because otherwise tomorrow's going to start with the frustration of crappy tools. Nothing used to piss me off more than when my Blackberry or radio stuffed up in Vancouver (and for that matter, when my PC stopped working in my previous life that never helped my mood either). Well, there are many things that annoy more than crappy tools but it doesn't please me. Tried out Café Guilia pancakes in the morning - with maple strop and mascarpone, pretty decent but not to be compared to Fets or IHOP - coffee was rather awful, not bad enough to warrant a boycott but not going back there in search of pancakes until i've properly examined the other local options. Had a lovely luncheon out at Coogee with PJ and Kate, joined by the usual crew and Reed from Vancouver - headed out therer on the bike which isn't really that pleasant with the San Francisco style hills but decided that if I can handle the ride back and out of Coogee i'm going to be able to deal with the rest of the seeby-dee.
Saturday, 12 August 2006
One more for luck? I'm a genius, not a magician ...
10 August - A bit of a blank spot for the first half of the day but i'm sure I was reasonably productive with various errands and I also recall working on my looking skills by rewatching a fillum or two but there was nowt that really stuck out in my mind. Caught up with lovely Skye (let's tick another reunion off) out at Newtown and had a very nice chat - later on headed over to Ruthnade's for a trivia brainstorming session which could prove to be very fruitful but we won't know until we've got our proposal a bit more concreted but we really won't know until we get a chance to put it to the test. Slided back northwards via Samira's for a little whiskey which was probably not the wisest course after an afternoon of slowly falling into a wine bottle (and somehow falling into a cask, oh, the shame) but was VERY pleasant regardless.
Manwolfe ...
How come Ladyhawke was called Ladyhawke, she was just one character? Why didn't they call it Manwolfe or Lordwolfe?
You think about that ...
Poltergeist
12 August - Woke up to find all of the cables and chargers and plugs switched and moved all around the house, presumably by a very annoying and silly ghost who also locked me inside without a key. Eventually managed to extricate myself from the house where I had a coffee and forgot to get a new key cut. Rode out to downtown to meet dad for luncheon at the Chinese Noodle place that ruth once forbid us to eat from (because it was her favourite we weren't going to eat there - of course) and a starbucks coffee. Can't really remember much else but i'm sure it was fascinating stuff because I live such an exicitng life.
Mail Order Bride
11 August - Well, had been getting a little concerned by the lack of bicycle to arrive from Melbourne. Ozzie Andy (aka Trackc**t) had assured me that a rebuilt Farleigh had been sent to Sydney via Greyhound Buses. Now, as a delivery professional a tracking number, date of post and estimated time of arrival should have been supplied but I didn’t want to pester him. Apparently Greyhound would deliver it to the closest depot to Glebe and give me a call. Well, noone was calling. Dropped into the Greyhound Terminal at Central and asked if bikes were delivered there and they gave me the number and address of their freight depot out at Banksmeadow which I duly called and found that yes, there was a bike waiting for pickup by Saxifrage Cucvara. A bit of a stress to actually get out to Banksmeadow (a place i'd not even heard of prior to that day) involving an attempt to borrow a car (which failed due to conflicting shower schedules), a thought of getting a bus (i hate buses) and an eventual rather expensive taxi ride. The unassembled track bike was there waiting for me - a broken valve on the front tyre and a stripped thread in the cranks meant I couldn't ride off straight away but managed to get a bus into town where Cheeky Monkey fixed the crank and the tube (making it ridable) but didn't have any brakes that would fit. Went to CBD but they didn't have brakes either then Clarence St Cyclery who had the brakes (but not the lever I wanted) but didn't have the time in the shop to install them. Bought the bits and took it back to CBD and all was sorted out, just in time for me to hightail it over to North Sydney for my induction with Crisis (it appears that they are willing to hire me after all - and apparently Sam, my overenergised 'trainer' hurt himself running into a pedestrian t'other day, meaning they needed me to start sooner -can't imagine how that could have happened). Met the dispatcher (operator), nigel, who seems like a fair minded fellow and filled out a bunch of paperwork and went over the technology (bit more high tech than Novex) and subjected Chevette (guess who Chevette is) to an inspection (which she passed with flying colours). So, Crisis, here we come aye?
Headed down to Macquarie Hotel for beers with a bunch of old chums. Rowan, Tom and I all lit a cigarette off one match which apparntly is bad luck but according to Groucho Marx three people lighting off one match is a sign that they only have one match or one with the matches is Scottish (and he was). Off to the Little Snail for Sandy's 30th (eek) where we ate overpriced but halfway decent Frog food. All got a bit traumatic when a couple of invitees turned out to be a little lesswanted than others and I got stuck with having the responsibility of dealing with one of them (pilled out drunkards are never that much fun to deal with especially when they're your friends) and somehow lost my house key over the night (landlord was thrilled to be woken up at 130am from a mostly sober tenant with a wastrel in tow) - ah, back in Sydney ... How I missed this crap ...
Thursday, 10 August 2006
9 O'Clock Shadow
9 August - Had my first taste of the messenger world of Sydney today with a runaround with Crisis. Rocked up to the coffee shack at 1 Farrer Place and awaited the arrival of Sam, No 222, who took a ways to get there. Had a bit of a chat with some of the others - didn’t know what this guy was supposed to look like so I asked a couple if they were Sam, one retort was a haughty, 'I don't take shadows, mate' - well, if you're going to be like that ... He eventually turned up and my task was to just follow him around (shadow) for a couple of hours and try to pick up how it worked. Well, when I train a new biker inever showed off by running reds and going straight into turning traffic - not 10m in and he was almost wiped out by a taxi - not that i'm complaining but a little restraint please mate. The tools are a bit more high tech than Novex but it's pretty simple, had no trouble keeping up but I do think its going to take a while to get to know Sydney well (the street numbers are pretty random and even though its my home town its a bit of a maze and good routing sense does take time). Sam mainly does a route from one client which is pretty easy work so it didn’t give me a good sense of what i'll expect but it did get me on the road and hopefully I should be starting pretty soon, I don’t know if i'll be clawing my way to the top for a while but for the moment the prospects seem okay. Afterwards went to the dentist for the first time in over a year, was paranoid that my teeth were falling out of my skull but the dentist assured me that everything seemed okay, still not flossing regularly but apart from that nothing too much to worry about (the way I see it starting to floss is as hard as stopping to smoke - so i'm doing two things bad right now). Mosied around in the afternoon for a while doing random things before heading off to the AB for a photoshoot for some local rags and media releases - all very amusing and helped out by liberal doses of booze from our good host, James. I just hope the punters don’t wonder why the hotel with two bars and multiple spaces is full of hundreds of people who are all clones of only 12 (albeit very attractive) people ...
Still Looking
8 August - Had a very long chat with the fleet manager from Crisis in the morning, discussed various ins and outs of the art of messengering in Sydney and despite being very impressed with the idea of using food as a fuel tax deduction he assured me that he couldn't guarantee me a job but i've a feeling that that could change rather soon if i'm lucky. Did some more tracking down of receipts for things lost overseas and also caught up with my old optometrist, Steve, for a bit of a checkup. Still no development on a cure for keretoconus but never had much hope for that anyway. Apparently there hasn’t been too much deterioration over the past year, or for the past four years for that matter, so it looks like i'll be keeping my corneas for a few more years to come.
Also got a first look at Chevette and am now just waiting for my new girl to arrive - hoping to have her in a day or two but you can never really rely on mail order brides so not holding my breath.
Spent the evening with the fam and afterwards went to the cinema - The Sentinel had all the cliches anyone could want in a fillum - completely implausibly appealing POTUS, made up eastern european rogue states, OTT chase scenes, expert protégé going after expert master, evil looking assassins and a twist that could be seen coming from pretty much the opening scene. Still, I do like a taut political thriller and this was better than most.
Tuesday, 8 August 2006
Are We Clear? 10-4
7 August - Finally after a over a year of waiting I got my big-ass sandwich again - dozens of substandard international attempts to recreate the sammich failed to live up to the expectation, was almost granted the experience a week ago but the unreliability and crappy communication skills of an ex-girlfriend denied me the pleasure ... In any event, despite going up a dollar over the past year and a small rotation of the fat italian mamas it was as good as I remembered and i'm happy. Whilst downtown got some directions from a couple of mail call couriers - Smokin' Joe (of the nice red velocity rims - which I was told to look out for by the chainring transit authority) told me how to find the BNP Paribas building and reminded me that nicknames are far more prevalent over here than in Vancouver - got a letter from the Sydney Aviation Medical Centre approving me for bike courier duties (they have a wide range of expertise) and killed a few hours reacquainting myself with the intricacies of the downtown shopping.
Also checked out my local trivia competition in the evening and was both pleased and disappointed to note its all round general crappiness for reasons that will be kept to myself for the time being. Any quiz show that forces you to watch any number of skits from Mad TV is a trivia to be avoided. In any event, it appears that my skillz are still in order because we won first place and I personally won two schooies and a bag of chips for the team. Are 'the Usurpers' going to become a force in the local trivia circuit - we shall see.
Monday, 7 August 2006
Ships In The Night
6 August - i've missed triplej, the only ad-free radio in Canadia was CBC which didn’t really play any music at all besides the occasional classical sets, which certainly have their place but i've been becoming more and more cut off from any new music produced over the past year so its good to have it back. Nothing better than being able to listen to music and news (even if both are occasionally a bit grating) without having to change the channel. Getting a slight feeling of unease by the various claims that its only a matter of time before the ABC gives up its anti-ad stance and will suffer the infection of commercials but until that time I can listen to the radio again.
Boys night out was rather sedate but glad to reunite with me old school chums - next time probably in Brisbane. Stil not a vry productive day but managed to push through a pretty significan chunk of John le carre's very dry thiller, little drummer girl, before catching up with Angel and Sandy for crème brulee tea and a little bit of a walk around the backstreets of Glebe. Had a chat with Aletia, a blast from the past from Gordon Public days, someone who I kept on bumping into over the past decade or two before we finally were assured that we did know each other from way back when - got to know each other proper about a month before I left for Canadia last year and unfortunately upon speaking to her on my return today I was disappointed (but happy for her) to find that she was on her way off to Geneva, Switzerland, for a year this very night. So, I guess it's going to be another year before we get to see each other again.
Saw 10 canoes in the evening, not the most exciting Australian film i've ever seen but had if we don't go and see the bad ones they'll never make any good ones. In any event, I guess you could call it a (really, really, really) long slow burn and a half decent way of spending a few hours. And there were 19 canoes in the film so it wasn’t just a clever title.
A Wider Audience?
A censored rant from one of my less enthusiastic readers. Obviously The Last of the Mohicans didn't do it for him.
-----Original Message-----
From: "Paul"<alley468@bigpond.net.au>
Sent: 6/08/06 12:55:22 PM
To: "saxifrage2020@gmail.com"<saxifrage2020@gmail.com>
Subject:
The smell of wet panties drying in the air always gives me a chill?
are you f**kin joking?
you dirty stinking filthy left wing f**got!
and you are a f**got too, don't think the rest of the world doesn't know that
Sunday, 6 August 2006
Wet and Cold? Just like home ...
4 August - Apparently I looked a little down in the morning to a passing motorist who decided to cheer me up by sending me a text message (???) - it was cold and it was wet, why would anyone have a big goofy smile on their face while they were walking up Glebe Point Road? Well, mayhap the miserable weather might have reminded a certain member of the IC of the glories of a Vancouver winter but it was more likely the glum appearance was just because that member of the IC hadn't had his morning fix of caffeine. Called up Crisis Couriers (again) to see if they'd changed their minds about hiring Novex's number one biker and gave them a tale of woe about another company refusing to hire fixie riders. As Lance Armstrong once said (or his biographer maybe) 'it's not about the bike' but it IS about the bike. one does this job because its enjoyable - riding a fixd gear is a lot of fun and when you invest a hefty sum into purchasing one and then find out that you can't work with it you find yourself asking, 'What's the point?' Because the fixed gear phenom hasn't really hit Sydney (there are quite a few who ride them but it's not endemic like Vancouver, Melbourne, New York, San Fran or ee London) anyone who does ride one has a reputation for being a hard core maniac and anyone who knows me knows that this is a pretty poor description.
In the evening caught up for a few beer with young Reed, my enthusiastic redheaded Canadian chum, always fondly remembered for his cheerfulness in fixing f**king disc brakes when they played up at the worst moment. Discussed the merits of working for Mail Call and just working in Sydney. Afterwards mosied off for the latest reunion with Samira to drink booze and other things bad for my body - the only person who actually made the connection between my leaving date and calculated when i'd be back (one year tickets mean you have to be back within one year ...)
You Snooze, You Lose ...
5 August - My plan to surprise me dad by intercepting him at the airport failed when I groggily woke up at quarter past six (his plane touched down at 6:05) and found that i'd misplaced my phone, which had been set for wakeup at 5. Considered panicking but was far too tired to bother and after trying to get in touch with him just jumped on the train back to Gordon for a reunion with much rejoicing (from him at the fact that i'd cut my hair) and wailing (the fact that i'm smoking, my insistence on him calling me by true name, my job prospects, etc ...) - ate some pancakes, went out for luncheon later and then went off to youngMr Gray's house to see AJ, down for a weekend of playing with power tools and seeing the boys. Took a ways to organise the lads but eventually made it to Glebe for pizza and off to Ran'wick for bowling (dodgy lanes that didn’t score properly but Saaaax managed to win the first game with a late in the game double strike recovery and AJ got the second (with onlya 100 points) - smallgoods didn’t manage to salvage a victory at all). Drank some beer and talked about various things which I could write here but then i'd have to kill you (and I really don’t have the time or inclination to wipe out the english reading universe so i'll just leave it be).
Saturday, 5 August 2006
Jolene ...
Jolene, jolene, jolene, jolene
Im begging of you please dont take my man
Jolene, jolene, jolene, jolene
Please dont take him just because you can
Your beauty is beyond compare
With flaming locks of auburn hair
With ivory skin and eyes of emerald green
Your smile is like a breath of spring
Your voice is soft like summer rain
And I cannot compete with you, jolene
He talks about you in his sleep
Theres nothing I can do to keep
From crying when he calls your name, jolene
And I can easily understand
How you could easily take my man
But you dont know what he means to me, jolene
Jolene, jolene, jolene, jolene
Im begging of you please dont take my man
Jolene, jolene, jolene, jolene
Please dont take him just because you can
You could have your choice of men
But I could never love again
Hes the only one for me, jolene
Friday, 4 August 2006
Scchhlloooccckkk ...
MS: What are you looking at sir?
DDL: I am looking at you miss ...
Ah, the smell of wet panties drying in the air ... always gives me a chill.
Little Drummer Boy
3 August - As unproductive a day as could be imagined - spent an age on the in'ernet (having trouble with my 't's again) trying to sort out my paypal account to no avail and had an extremely protracted discussion with Lynn from CTA about a new set of wheels (he's very passionate about his bicycle components and that can only be a good thing when it comes to a bike mechanic). Ate a banana (wouldn't mention such a mundane thing but it's kind of like eating caviar flavoured with abalone and saffron and smeared with truffle and foie gras paste these days). Struggled through a fair few chapters of The Little Drummer Girl, as fascinating as a taut political thriller can be but made slightly more interesting by its heavy references to Israel throwing its weight around in Lebanon, which, as we all know, is happening again with a slightly different cast of characters. Looks like Mail Call is interested in giving me a job although i've told them I can’t really start until next week (current financial situation is making me think I should start ASAP though).
Rode back to Gordon to strip the reflectors and a bell from my old junker MTB, which always seemed like an okay bike before I left Australia but now seems like a piece of crap relative to my slightly higher standards. She did me very well as a commuter bike and without her I would never have got myself into the condition I needed to be get in for my career diversion but when it comes down to it it's nothing more than Taiwenese welded aluminium junk with crappy parts, couldn't even be converted to a single speed if I wanted so I think she'll be living in storage for a ways. Forgot how far it actually is to Gordon and took an age to get back home on Baby Blue - can't say its a bad thing to do the large ride because my legs, bum arms were all very sore when I got home and this can only be a sign of things to come ...
Thursday, 3 August 2006
Wednesday, 2 August 2006
Up To Standard?
2 August - Ah, the joys of job hunting - after searching the backstreets of Willoughby for the hard to find main street of Willoughby Road (yes, i've been there before but it's been aways since i've had to get there from Glebe). Had an interview with the fleet manager of Mail Call, Tim, and all seemed to go pretty well until he found out that I was registered for the World Championships - apparently they're panicking that none of the Sydney couriers are going to show up for work on the Friday before and the Monday after. Apparently the photoshoot scheduled for noon on the Friday is going to shut the company down ... Also, my little scaphoid fracture from earlier in the year needs to be cleared by an Australian doctor despite the fact that i've been working on it for months. Had to submit Baby Blue for an inspection (they don't allow fixies) to see that he came up to Australian standards - he needs a rear reflector, front reflector and a bell and nowt to be done despite the fact that I keep my lights on my bag and my 'noise making device' is typically me yelling 'COMING THROUGH ON THE RIGHT!!!' (although over here it's most likely to be on the left). Later in the day, I was warned by a North Sydney bike mechanic that he wasn't the most pleasant of fellows to work with but time will tell on that one ... if I end up working for Mail Call. Earlier in the day after a vigorous game of squash with Robbie was wandering through Pyrmont and saw a familiar redhead in a Mail Call jersey riding past - one of my old Vancouver chums, Reed, a bike mechanic/courier who was always very helpful when it came to helping me adjust Baby Blue's tempramental brake. Good to know someone in the neighbourhood. Dropped by Farrer Place and met a few more couriers who all seemed rather nice - I don't know what Miranda Devine is talking about - they're such nice young men (and girls too)!
Had another reunion, this time with Mr Gregory May, who kindly provided the dinner and me the coffee (i like that kind of division but unfortunately it's probably not going to last) - no shortage of conversation, that particular gentleman, but always interesting so I won't complain (well, maybe a little but nobody reads this blether so nowt to worry about).
Tuesday, 1 August 2006
The Immortal Underclass?
1 August - Started the day with a café latte with no foam, more commonly known as a flat white in god's country. Had left my mobile phone at Matt's house the previous night (an absolute arse of a time trying to get in touch with him without a phone, managed a very sketchy conversation via Skype on the PDA) and he very kindly offered to drop it off in the morning. I'd promised him a coffee and, obviously not thinking too highly of my preparedness, he came over with my phone and some coffee grounds and some milk. I know i've not settled n yet but c'mon, a flat white is only two minutes away! Proceeded to get more and more wired throughout the day, first had a coffee with Karen, my old Optus pal now recruiter for Optus - put out a couple of feelers for going back to the horrific world of IT then had another coffee with Paul and Margaret from Gen-I (formally known as TCNZA) - i'm really enjoying this returning from another country thing, everyone buys you a coffee ... However, got a small taste of things to come if I decide to carry on with my latest career move - both times whilst waiting for my friends I was confronted by security guards wanting to know what the f**k I was doing sitting around. Perhaps they were just arseholes or perhaps they didn't like the fact that someone dressed as a messenger was hanging around the entrance but i've a feeling that couriers don't enjoy the warmth and affection of the business community that they do in vancouver (cough cough) - what, i'm not allowed to sit in this chair because i'm a courier? Well, I might be a courier in spirit but i'm not one in actuality right now so i'm going to carry on sitting here you supercilious f**k. Maybe they just didn't like my silly hat. Checked out a few more bikestores looking for just the right wheelset for the next vehicle but none seemed to have exactly what I wanted in obnoxiousness and price. In any event, I may have found my next bicycle - decisions must be made but when I made a few phone calls around the various courier companies in sydney I was told by one of the major hirers of newbies that they won't accept bikers who ride fixies - I don't know what to think about that - it's kind of amusing to think that they have such a bad reputation around town that even the courier companies are scared of them. In any event, i'm sure somethingcan be arranged, after all, I do use a brake. After returning the old car to mum I trained back to glebe anddid more errands before sidelining myself at the refurbished ancient briton where young mr templeman treattd me to a pivo - one beer led to another and before we knew it the lovely owners were feeding us peking duck, roast pigeon (with the head on the plate - one more animal ticked off the list) and some very expensive looking desserts. James and dot (the lovely sommelier (boozehound???) sister of one of the owners) were critical of the dessert's presentation but me and ade were more than happy to inhale them.
La Humoriste
19 July - Another decent sleep in despite the inhospitable surrounds. Ate the hostel's excuse for a breakfast then got in touch with Alex, a Vancouver girl who's a friend of Jolene's, who has kindly offered to put me up for the balance of my stay here. She didn’t live very far from the hostel so I transported my gear via bicycle (i'm beginning to think that bringing Celeste along was an absolutely fantastic idea). Alex had the afternoon free so she accompanied me to the Musee des beaux-Arts de Montreal where we both got a healthy injection of culture but were also suffering from a bit of art fatigue by the end of it so couldn’t really cope with the idea of doing another one. Went down to the tourist information centre to sort out a day tour to Quebec City then a few more errands.
My French obviously leaves a bit to be desired - ordering a coffee seems to pose not too much of a problem - 'Petite café, sil vous plait' usually meets the response of 'One small coffee?' with raised eyebrows or a flurry of French which means I have to admit that my ability to converse is limited to ordering a few select food items. Apparenty even the French immersion Canadian kids get similar treatment - apparently the Quebecois have an innate ability to sniff out anyone who isn’t a francophone and they don’t deign the other Canadians worthy of being able to speak French. Apparently the actual French also fare pretty badly, as Quebecois French is as incomprehensible to them as Ozzie Marcus's accent is to half of the couriers. One thing you can say about French speakers whether they're from Paris or Montreal - you can pretty much always guarantee that they will be snooty.
Did a little bit of wandering (but not much) and in the evening headed down to the dark side of town to fetch Roach (was provided with a very nice made from scratch quesadilla for dinner) then we rode down to the 'Just For Laughs' festival downtown (took a bit of an effort to keep up with him, Roach rides like a courier) - in order to take in the stuff that was free saw some very impressive Asian break dancers (not exactly sure what was funny about it), a rather unamusing dog doing some very unimpressive tricks, a bunch of side shows and parades and finished it off with a hypnotist - first time i've ever seen a stage hypnotist live and I have to say that i'm not completely convinced of its authenticity - without a doubt the people are doing things they didn’t expect they’d be doing but it seemed that the ones who weren't eliminated were mostly playing it up for the crowd. Maybe i'm just a cynic but I won’t believe it until its done to me and the language barrier excluded me from this guy. Tabernac, pretty f**king funny though.
Fwd: Tabernac! F**king Tyres!
Monday, 31 July 2006
Where are all the bananas?
Now this was not something I expected - had no warning about it at all. I first noticed something was amiss when I was in the Burra grocery store, we were picking up some bread for Auntie Di when I caught the price of bananas out of the corner of my eye. Bananas were $15 a kilo. I thought they may have been some exotic Jamaican plantains at first and mentioned it to my mother who gave me the sordid history of the evil typhoons who destroyed the Queensland banana crops (trees, plantations, whatever) with the result of no bananas for 2006. In Sydney I saw tiny green organic bananas that were 3 for $7 and at Bondi I saw them for $12 a kilo (at least its cheaper than SA). Now, in my last year in Sydney I was eating at least three bananas a day and in Vancouver on average about two (my morning breakfast of granola with yoghurt, a banana and a couple of strawberries is going to cost me a prince's ransom now). Have been unreliably informed that they'll be available in October or November but that is three or four months away - what's a boy to do???
Reunion
29 July - Funerals are never that fun and after meeting a few more family members who have managed to avoid my scope over the past lifetime I found out a few more details of the fueds that have plagued the Proctor/Radford/Robbie clans - seeing Mr Rob Radford for the first time since I was in diapers was interesting - charming bloke, he was uncertain whether he had met me before and I had to catch myself from saying 'Well, i've heard a lot about you' because I didn't want to hear the response of 'All good I hope' because the answer to that would have been 'No, just about everything I've heard about you is terrible' - as it was it was good just to be able to put a face to the name and the history. Always lovely to see that side of the family though and I was completely torn when I was asked if I could stay on to help with the lamb marking (a particularly brutal, but completely necessary, part of a sheep's life when they have their tails cut off to prevent infection later in their lives. Desperately wanted to stay on but there was just too much to do back in Sydney now that i've returned to my home shores.
Saturday was another day of reunions with seeing me old flame Angel and Mr Templeman who has conveniently located his workspace to my utterly transformed local, the Ancient Briton. Me and Angel negotiated the horrific traffic in a taxicab over to Coogee where I was reunited with kate and PJ, Ruthnade (had already seen the latter half of that duo when he picked me up from the airport on my arrival) and Rowan and Emilie (also PJ and Kate's friends, Robin and .. Ooh, i'm so bad with names - where there). Everyone seems to have carried on with their lives in my absence which I suppose is a good thing (can't believe they all went on a wine tour without me though, what were they thinking???). First marijuana consumed since my return to Australia - is it to BC weed standard? Probably not, but the quantities imbibed surely made up for its lack of potency. Had to get used to the old Australian/British etiquette of holding onto the joint for an age before passing it on (Canadian standard is puff-puff-pass). It's a bit amusing to be surrounded by a bunch of professionals rather than my rag tag army but i've missed them so and its time to get back into the swing.
Tuesday, 25 July 2006
Day Skipper
25 July - Slightly irritating neighbours on the flight but the flight was as average as could be expected ... First leg had the worst turbulence i've ever been through but i've never been through very bad shakes and this was hardly grip the seatrests and pray for dear life - more grip your wineglass so it doesn't spill. Felt pretty ill through most of the flight so couldn't really focus on the crappy teen cross dressing football movie who had the temerity to say that it was inspired by Shakespeare's 12th Night (oh, the bard would be rolling in his grave). I think I need a slight break from rambling about my life for a little bit. In any event, left on 23rd July and arrived on 25 July all in about 15 hours ... Where the fuck did that day go??? I don't remember gaining it on the way over - maybe I can use the boarding pass as a receipt when I die and get an extra day on earth (am also holding on to my Pirates of the Carribbean and Mission Impossible sequel ticket stubs in the hope that I’ll get a couple of hours in lieu) - well anyway, now that I i've hit the home shore should probably admit that there's a little bit of censorship has been exercised over these blatherings of the past year, including but not limited to:
- Details of sexual congress
- Cigarette smoking
- Bike crashes
- Cause of the fire at 1949 East 1st Avenue
I probably won't go into them now either but in any event I don't know who's still reading this thing but the travelogue is over (the blog will continue), go in peace.
And It Ends ...
23 July - Will I be missing a day's entry? All signs point to the probable. Well, it appears that this is it. Got woken up by blinding morning sunlight but didn’t get moving for a short while, and after that it took even longer to get morning necessities like caffeine injection and ingestion of foodstuffs. Where to eat breakfast was an important consideration - Fet's was chosen because well, I like their pancakes and the rude waitress whose name I can never remember is certainly someone i'll miss but for what reasons I do not know why. Half price and a kiss goodbye was certainly reason enough for going there. Made a few more goodbyes, some pretty heart rending and some more casual - its always harder to say goodbye to a few people, especially the ones who you just wish you met an age earlier rather than two weeks before your departure date. Is a 9-day girlfriend better than no girlfriend at all? Oh, I certainly think so. Had to get a bit creative with the packing job - good thing old baby blue is in a box with room for quite a bit of padding in the form of the various possessions i'd accumulated throughout the year (pity he weighs as much as a tank though). Spent half an age looking for a wifi access point to refresh my AvantGo and get some email out of the pda before departure was unsuccessful. Transport for the first leg of my exit out of Canadia was provided by Kristil who borrowed a truck from a friend and her, Becky and me loaded my scant possessions into the back and headed out to Van airport. Going on an international flight always brings it plethora of incidents - ran low on gas, pump wasn’t working at petrol station, had to make a diversion to drop off a broom to becky's sister (???), sent to the wrong ticket counter, was charged extra for the bike box despite being assured by Lufthansa and Flight centre that I wouldn't but before I knew it I found myself checked in and being rushed through the gates with barely a chance to say goodbye to the girls seeing me off. Well, I didn’t cry but I did want to. I don’t know when i'll see Kristl or the other vancouverites i've known over the past year again but one thing I do know is that I will be seeing some of them - whether back home, back in vancouver (intention to return is 100%) or somewhere else (it's a small world out there).
In any event, once I made it through the duty free I found myself at border security - the flight was going to stopover at Honolulu and US Homeland Security recognises a stopover as a visit to the states. Guard checked my passport and sent me to an agent, queued for a while then the agent told me that my visa waiver (from the road trip a few months previously) had expired and I had to reapply for the waiver. Sent back filled out the form and the guard said go to Gate 2, went to gate 2 and the miserable f**king lowlife c**t of a border agent condascendingly told me to wait 5 minutes then sent me to another queue (can't you see the 'closed' sign? The guard told me to come here, you magnanimous prick!) then while I was queuing at the next gat the opened up again and I had to go see him. Then the collosal prick told me that my waiver had expired ... Yeah, that's why i've filled out the green form like your f**king colleague told me to. Agent - When did you go the USA? When did you get back? Um, maybe the dates on the stamps of the passport page that you're lookingat right now - date of entry to USA, date of entry to Canada? After the waiver has expired you can't visit the USA for 12 months - I just rejected someone for that today. I only found out I was stopping in the USA today (the Air Canada girl who confirmed my booking told me it was a direct flight) and I was told we weren't even going to leave the plane (apparently we have to get off the plane). I'll let you go through this time but when you leave the USA you have to hand in this card - leave the usa, so I do get off the plane? When you leave the usa you have to hand in this card, do you understand? Yes, I fucking understand you miserable bastard. Good luck (edge of sarcasm). Well, I guess you had to be there but, believe me, that border security guard was on a power trip and I had no choice but to grit my teeth and swallow my pride because any outburst is certainly going to have repurcussions. Well, made it though there and got through the customs declaration without any incident and before iknew it I was on a plane and en route to the place where I belong.
Fwd: Go West, Life Is Peaceful There
Fwd: You're a Quebec City boy, where Sacrement Meets Laurier
Fwd: Tabernac! F**king Tyres!
Fwd: RIP 313
Monday, 24 July 2006
The Sensorium
'The reduction of the sensorium into five senses was first determined by aristotle, but galen said there were six, erasmus darwin thought there were twelve and von frey reduced them to eight. Zen buddhists say there is a sixth sense. Recent authorities calculate that there are seventeen senses.'
If you avoid the new age sixth sense BS I think you can reduce the senses to three - radiation interaction which would include sight and heat detection, physical interaction (which includes touch and hearing - hearing is just your ears physically interacting with the kinetic energy in the air) and chemical interaction (taste and smell which are one and the same in most respects anyway - the tastebuds and smelling things in your nose react to the chemicals in the air or what you put in your mouth).
Blast From The Past
21 July - The common cold. I presume it was caught in Vancouver but the full effects weren't realised until I hit Montreal - I wish they’d stop sending men into space and focus their efforts on killing this little motherf**ker once and for all. Still, I wasn’t going to let the disease ruin the holiday too much. Today's tourist activities included riding out to the Olympic Stadium and Botanical Jardine - the gardens were, well, they were botanical gardens. Very tranquil and very pretty but not the most exciting place of the city - not helped by the fact that I got lost on the loop (as I approached the end of the loop I went into an exhibit and when I came out I somehow didn’t realise that I was walking back the way I came). One of the better gardens was the sensory garden where you were encouraged to feel and smell the plants - not much good beingable to smell the plants when you have no sense of smell but its nice for the blind people. After I finallyextricated myself from the garden I saw the Insec'arium (i have trouble typing the letter 't') which was ... Well, actually it was ind of boring and full of kids but after that went to the Biodome, four separate environments kind of like a little zoo which was sweeett. Had trouble coping with the amazon rainforest section with the heat and humidity closing in on my blocked sinuses but the laurentian forest and polar regions were very pleasant. Especially interestingwas the north pole and south pole environments on the opposite sides of a room - bizarro world. Ended up sitting in one of montreal's numerous parks and read for a little while - finished 'Guns Germs and steel' a fine treatise on the reasons why the world is like it is - basically, it concludes that the reason why Europe took over the new world and not vice versa was due to the availability of wild vegetation and animals that were suitable for domestication, the fact that it was spread across an east-west axs (foods can be transferred east west but more dififcult north south). Very interesting and a stinging rebuke to those who claim that eurasians had a genetic advantage - however, my personal view is that there is definitely some differences between the races - genes control so much of our physical makeup that it's naiive to believe that the difference between the races is only in appearance - I don’t think any of the races are superior to one another but there are certainly differences beyond the obvious phenotypes. In any event, despite feelinglike crap I new I had only one more night in Montreal and you can't go to montreal without checking out the Village. Wandered up and down st catherine street and settled on the Sky Pub, quite literally a heaving mass of male bodies and they're faghag followers - lots of pretty boys and lots of creepy old men (guess which ones fixated on me???) - had a couple of whiskeys to soothe the throat and watched the fairly decent drag shows (all of the songs in English and all of the interludes in french - maybe they were hilarious but i'll never know - I think the shows ar still better in Sydney) - was reaching the end of my endurance aand was just about to walk out the door when I noticed out of the corner of my eye a familiar face - sure and begorrah if it wasn't my old friend (????) Jordan, on his annual Montreal pilgrimage - first Australian friend I've seen since I saw Messuir templeman and the Chope Clan in England many months ago. Had a nice liittle catchup but I wasn’t reallycapable out much longer but we'll both be back in the sunburnt land soon enough ... Goes to show what a small world we live in.
Fwd: La Humoriste
My French obviously leaves a bit to be desired - ordering a coffee seems to pose not too much of a problem - 'Petite café, sil vous plait' usually meets the response of 'One small coffee?' with raised eyebrows or a flurry of French which means I have to admit that my ability to converse is limited to ordering a few select food items. Apparenty even the French immersion Canadian kids get similar treatment - apparently the Quebecois have an innate ability to sniff out anyone who isn't a francophone and they don't deign the other Canadians worthy of being able to speak French. Apparently the actual French also fare pretty badly, as Quebecois French is as incomprehensible to them as Ozzie Marcus's accent is to half of the couriers. One thing you can say about French speakers whether they're from Paris or Montreal - you can pretty much always guarantee that they will be snooty.
Did a little bit of wandering (but not much) and in the evening headed down to the dark side of town to fetch Roach (was provided with a very nice made from scratch quesadilla for dinner) then we rode down to the 'Just For Laughs' festival downtown (took a bit of an effort to keep up with him, Roach rides like a courier) - in order to take in the stuff that was free saw some very impressive Asian break dancers (not exactly sure what was funny about it), a rather unamusing dog doing some very unimpressive tricks, a bunch of side shows and parades and finished it off with a hypnotist - first time i've ever seen a stage hypnotist live and I have to say that i'm not completely convinced of its authenticity - without a doubt the people are doing things they didn't expect they'd be doing but it seemed that the ones who weren't eliminated were mostly playing it up for the crowd. Maybe i'm just a cynic but I won't believe it until its done to me and the language barrier excluded me from this guy. Tabernac, pretty f**king funny though.
Australia
I think I'll take another pill
Praying for the wave to come now
It must be for the fifteenth time
I've been here for much too long
This is the past that's mine
I want to fly and run till it hurts
Sleep for a while and speak no words in australia
I want to fly and run till it hurts
Sleep for a while and speak no words in australia
In australia
Praying for the wave to come now
It must be for the very last time
It's twelve o'clock till midnight
There must be someone to blame
I want to fly and run till it hurts
Sleep for a while and speak no words in australia
I want to fly and run till it hurts
Sleep for a while and speak no words in australia
In australia
Australia, in australia
I want to fly and run till it hurts
Sleep for a while and speak no words in australia
In australia
In australia
In australia
Saturday, 22 July 2006
FW: A Dying Breed?
Well, not just yet but the day approaches ...
http://www.smh.com.au/news/technology/broadband-killed-the-bicycle-courier/2006/07/17/1152988453677.html#<http://www.smh.com.au/news/technology/broadband-killed-the-bicycle-courier/2006/07/17/1152988453677.html>
Thursday, 20 July 2006
Go East Young Man
17 July - Another far too late night meant getting up was very difficult but today I had a mission and if getting up early had to be done I was going to do it. Broke the fast, packed a bag, grabbed Celeste and took the 98B to the airport because today i'm finally going to see some more of this country besides the jewel of the West (apparently that's what some people in Vancouver call my recent home) - I was heading to the land of smoked meat and poutine, the place where people talk funny, the gay capital of the planet and the place that might one day no longer be a part of this country (although nobody can tell me what they'll call their hockey team if the separatists finally get their way) - Montreal. Gettingto the airport was no problem at all but had a few issues upon arrival - was charged extra for bringing Celeste despite being told when I booked the tickets that it was covered, also couldn’t for the life of me manage to loosen her handlebars or pedals (as I write this on the plane i'm praying that she is being treated with the respect that a lady like her deserves) and when I went to board I was told that I had to check in my carry on bag because my bike tool and lock were banned items (i know terrorists have managed to take over a plane with box cutters but I can’t see how a bunch of allen keys can constitute a threat to airline security - also praying that this bag managed to get stowed away on my flight and not the next one because its going to be very irritating waitingfor it on the other side, especially considering that i'm arriving at 10pm - no idea when the next one's coming). Relatively uneventful flight - flew over the Canada US border for most of the way which brought back memories of my driving across in the other direction, the uncomfortable seat also brought back the awful pain in the left butt cheek that plagued me throughout my american odyssey a few months ago but what ar you going to do? Not very reassuring for the 14 hour Canada Australia flight that no doubt awaits me in a couple of weeks. The four hour trip seemed to take a lifetime but eventually touched down in Montreal and, as luck would have it, along with all of my bagage including the messenger bag carrying the dangerous allen keys (although the security guard gave it a pretty suspicious looking over before I picked it up). Afairly long winded commute into the city and through the Metro to the hostel and when I arrived at half eleven the staff were gettingready to shut down but luckily they found my name scrawled in the register as being due to check in so all was okay. Went for a little bit of a wander to find some sustenance but decided to hold off on experiencing the nightlife for a bit, the past week has been a bit brutal in the lack of sleep and travelling, eeven when half conscious in a plane, always wears me out. But, I have finally made it to somewhere new in Canadia so very happy about that.
Goodbye 1949
16 july - Well, thank f**k for that - I am no longer a resident of 1949 East 1st Avenue - did have some good times in that house but it was reallystartingto get to me in the end (and the hole in the wall from the fireman's antics was also a bit of an annoyance). It's amazing how much crap one can accumulate in a year and I like to think i'm pretty good at keepingthe possessions down to a minimum when I have to. Kristl and Becky brought Becky's work truck around to help me take it over to K's house - an absolutely gigantic ford pickup being driven by two tiny little girls (5'6 and 5'2') - I was amazed that either could actually look over the dashboard. Managed to do it all in one load includingthe bike which was great because it means I never have to set foot in that hovel again (i'm not bitter, really i'm not). Had a nice breakfast with the girls and Becky's sister and b-I-l then wandered off to try to find a Safeway where I could change my large collection of pennies into cash but every one from McDonald to Commercial either didn’t have one or the machine was broken so I ended up carryinga kilo of pennies around all day. Looked for a place where I could get my camera SD card burned to CD but all the big places charge by the number of photos (oh, Kodak tries to make more money by having a maximum of 120 photos per CD - well, it's not working with me because i'm not going to f**king use Kodak then) and eventually scored a solution at Office Works. Had a very nice Mexican dinner with brenda, one of the first people who I met when I arrived in vancouver and then rode back over to the drive where I had what is possibly my last JJ Beans coffee and muffin. Was invited to go out to 'Numbers' on Davey St with Jolene and a couple of the other coffee jockeys - Sunday night is karaoke night and whilst I never got drunk enough to sing myself it was suitably amusing to watch those who were.
Canadia Is For Canadians
15 July - Well, today was the symbolic end of my time in Vancouver - the Canadia is for Canadians picnic at Third Beach to celebrate the upcoming removal of three of the Australian visitors who have been residing in this fair land for the past year. Ozzie Marcus and his girlfriend, Larni, have reached the end of their visas (although the way their plans seem in a constant state of flux I don’t think they’ll ever be leaving this place) and my home ticket is rapidly approaching its expiration date. Started the day by riding down to the previously boycotted Bikes On The Drive to donate my embarassingly large collection of unrepaired inner tubes and Elan, the owner, very nicely offered to box up my bike for free for the jouney home but have already organised that with Simon.
Collected some picnic stuff and beer from Toby's and took Celeste down to Stanley Park and eventually arrived at Third Beach and the due time of 1pm - since I was the instigator of the event I needed to make sure to be their first and despite Sasha arriviing about 20m later it was a fair while before anyone actually turned up and I went through the usual feelings of inadequacy that the event was going to be a no show, despite the day beingfantastically hot and ideal beach weather. Well, my anxieties certainly turned out to be completely groundless because there was a massive turnout - people staggered in over the next few hours but I couldn’t believe how many people deemed by departure to be significant cause for celebration - mostly couriers but certainly not all - attendees included but not limited to former housemates, Mark Mat and Robert, friends Abby and Loria with little Bo, and about half of the couriers in the city seemed to come - all very touching although I tried to avoid beingtoo morbid about the fact that i'd soon be leaving all of these fantastic people behind. A couple of barbecues were brought and lots of beer - not long after we started lunch a policeman came by and told us to dump all the beers and then asked for the senior person responsible to come and have a chat with him - thinking the senior person would be the one to get a fine nobody came forward but eventually he told us just to keep it hidden and there shouldn’t be a problem (f**kingCanada - loves it bylaws). Finally managed to immerse myself in the (rather polluted) ocean and got terrifically sunburnt (it'll turn brown in a couple of days - it always does) and played football (until the lifeguard told us to stop), then frisbee (until the lifeguard told us to stop), cricket (until the lifeguard told us to stop) and hackey sack (which is was just compoletelycrap at). Scored four new jerseys (a couple of dynamaxes, a pdx and a vip - a lot of the courer companies have an x in the title because 'x' means fast) as going away presents from other courers (have a fairly complete collection now) and said what could very well be my final goodbyes to many of them. Tried to get to the gun turret to see the supposedly spectacular sunset but got lost and missed it by about five minutes and after dark the group started to trickle off - a couple of us decided to ride out to a another party in burnaby and I was stuck with a very drunk (and, truth be told, incredibly irritating) shadow and a few others and had to lead the way but lost most of them on the way, its not much fun ridingwith drunk people - picked up jolene who decided to come alongfor the ride and then came to the burnaby boundary and found ourselves without a through road - rode around a few blocks looking for a way to get over before seeing four silent fixed gears with one liught between them wooshing east and concluded that they must be heading in the same irection as we were. The party was already on its tail end but managed to get a few more farwells thrown in to the mix before me and jolene headed back into the west andd to civilisation.
Sunday, 16 July 2006
Pfffzzz ...
13 July - Didn’t rain but was pretty muggy - didn’t move from the front step of 885 for a full hour in the morning and even after that was pretty much strolling from one trip to the next - nothing even came close to being late throughout the day even when their was a little blackberry outage in the mid morning. It was so dead that I was even sent over to the side for the first time in about two weeks - good to do some proper riding for a change. Still, very quiet and if it weren't for the ECOs I wouldn't even be making minimum - as it is, i'm making better money than I did anyday in the furious winter. I do seem to be getting a bit absent minded these days though - after this week's day's fiasco involving a few minor wipeouts, leaving behind my radio, almost losing a trip I added missing a drop when I was in the building and leaving my folder at reception - got to keep it together, I want to be remembered as someone who could get the job done, not the idiot who couldn’t keep a hold of his trips.
I I could add to my complaints about the service industry in this city (country??? we'll see), which include but ar not limited to relentless pestering upselling, whoring out for tips and being very snooty one of my biggest annoyances is the inability of anybody who works behind a bar to multitask. The coffeeshops I frequent the most. Amici at 885 and JJ Beans on the drive, are not capable of making more than one drink at a time and they will not serve the next customer until the first has already ordered, paid and walked off with their drink. JJ Beans is just as bad, unless you're getting a cup of drip the queue might move pretty fast but you'll be waiting upwards of 10m before your drink is in your hot little hand. Went to the pita house for dinner tonight to get myself their very reasonable chicken donair meal (with caesar salad that probably has more calories in the dressing than a krispy kreme) and had to wait 5m before the woman would even acknowledge my existence although when she did she was reasonably attentitve. The queue behind me grew to five people and she wouldn’t make eye contact with them until she was done with me. To top this off, the guy in the shop (husband?) was filling the drinks cabinet and slicing the meat, and an old lady (her mother???) was tearing up pita breads, both completely oblivious to the customers waiting impatiently (although to tell the truth, I think canadian consumers are pretty well trained to wait quietly and not rock the boat - I just wait quietly and seethe). F**king canada. Do love it though.
One thing i'd been considering going on for quite some time but never got around to it was the Midnight Mass, basically a similar thing to the critical mass bike rides but, funnily enough, at midnight. The critical mass crowd are generally a strange bunch, all a bit too young and too into their bikes for me, but the idea of riding around late at night with a big bunch of people did have its appeal. The fact that its at midnight on a schoolnight was the main thing that had stopped me until now. Met up at Grandview Park on the Drive, a fairly hefty turnout of about fifty or so bikers - quite a variety of mounts as well, fixies, road bikes, mountain bikes, cruisers and a few that were a hodge podge of various different bikes. After a bit of arguing Stanley Park was set as the destination and we cruised down via the seawall - its always fun riding in big groups although I have to say that I almost prefer to ride in car traffic than amongst loads of bikes - cars are generallyeasier to predict than bikes, especiallyones beingridden by crazy 22 year olds who may have had a bit to much hot scotch and water and don't really know what a straight line is. The group split off into the high road and low road once we got into the park - some headed alongthe seawall to third beach and a few of us rode up to the top of the lookout point - a pretty brutal climb at the best of times but quite surreal when you're riding in complete darkness. Once we got to the top there was nowhere to go but down - a really steep decline with quite a few twists and turns, no lights at all and doing it on a fixed wheel with very slick tyres on a wet road. Couldn’t see a thing exceot for the faint outline of the white strips in the midle of the road and the occasional flickering rear light of some of the other bikers when we were on a longstraight. All things considered, a very stupid thing to do but pretty exhiliarting nonetheless. Despite the fact that the group was going to kick on for quite a while me and a few others headed back home and got there by 3 - completelyexhausted but pretty pumped full of adrenaline knowing that I was going to be dead to the world the next day.
Thursday, 13 July 2006
Vancouver Returns
12 July - Well, the sunshine couldn’t last forever, this is Vancouver after all. Thinking it would just be a bit of god's spittle I just wore an extra layer and didn’t bother with a rain jacket - was pretty sodden by the time I got downtown and got fairly saturated throughout the day. Was wearing cutoff jeans, which are really not ideal for riding in the wet - they get swollen and they stay wet which is particularly dangerous for the water sensitive blackberry that I keep in my pocket, my bold experiment with using a condom to keep it try failed as it was very difficult to wash the lubricant off the latex and even after that it fairly broke apart when I tried to stretch it over the device. also got so wet that the glue in my silly hat completely melted out, every time I touched it there was a slick film oozing out of the brim. Did have some amusing moments downtown though - when I arrived at 885 a tourist puffing away on a cigarette exclaimed to me, 'Gee, y'all sure do have yrselves a beeyootiful city', I thanked her despite the city onlybeing mine for a short while longer, 'Where are all the fat peeple?', I assured her they were around - it turns out that she was from Weezieanna down south - and I tell you what, if I lived in Louisiana i'd sure as heckfire be hyperobese too ... Best goddarn food in the world (yep, that's what I say, my limited world travelling has led me to conclude that it just doesn't get better than the American South). In the afternoon a young lady was doing a photography project on biking in Vancouver - she wanted to get action shots of couriers in action, some of them weren't being too helpful (paranoid about having their picture in the public domain is my guess) but yours trulywas very happy to help her out if it meant gettingsome shots of me. The slick conditions were perfect for practising my skids and managed to do a few throughout the day but I know i'm still not doing it right because every time I try to lock up the wheel the chain creaks and I get launched up into the air and the bike keeps rolling - very frustrating. Had two crashes throughout the day, both times at the exact same location at 401 georgia the firlst time I came up knowingthe area was really slippery and I was telling myself to be carful and not to crash and the bike just went out from under me. The second time I managed to negotiate the tiles but I thought to myself that the mirror surface would be perfect for trying out a skid and I skidded for about 5m before the bike collapsed. Both times the security guard at the bank came up to me to ask if I was alright - I fairly ran away in embaressment the second time (foold me once, shame on you, fool me twice, fool ... Fool .. You can't fool me again! Oh yes, you can apparently). No real damage done so I guess i'll be trying again tomorrow. Herb came down in the afternoon as well and it was great to be able to ee him before I go, we had a nice chat and it was very difficult to have to say goodbye, because I don't think i'll meet someone like him again for a long time. A very good man. He asked me when we parted ways to do somethingfor him, he didn’t want to preach and he told me not to bother about the rules and the guilt of Christainaity but he asked me just to 'consider Jesus' - think about him every once in a while and consider what he means to me - well, when someone like herb asks for that I think I will.
SAND
11 July - What a f**ked up day! From the very beginning when I went to the 925 coffeeshop instead of the 885 coffeeshop (the morning girl at 885, Emilie, is just sour to deal with at 7:50am and her café lattes leave much to be desired) - I've been asking the girl for a small café latte, skim milk and no foam and i've been getting a 12oz cup - far too much for one sitting - I asked the girl if they had anything smaller than the one I usually got - pointing at the cups she was using - she replied in the negative, but as she handed my coffee over she said, 'oh, unless you mean the mini' and pulled out a far more respectably sized 8ozer. Well, what the f**k did you think I meant when I said 'smaller'??? Whilst doing a few morning trips I bumped intp a wall and hit my radio clip and it was then that I realised i'd lost my radio. Backtracked to every place i'd been in doublequick time before bumping into Legs who told me that my radio was back at 885 - raced down there, it wasn't. Presumed it had been picked up by another Novex guy and got rid of a few more before rendesvousing with Duncan for the ECO bags and luckily, my radio. Early on, I dropped a trip at the wrong place (right company, wrong building - I blame desperately needing to go to the toilet for distracting me) and as I was routed away from the original place itook me ages before I could go and pick it up to take it to the right place - it was where I left it and, as luck would have it, sitting next to another trip to accompany it to its proper home. However, when I went to drop it off in the middle of a HOT little run, I found it had disappeared again. Couldn’t find it anywhere. Went to every place i'd been at breakneck pace but it wasn’t anywhere - fessed up the dispatcher who called the client to break them the bad news only to find that it had been delivered. Later on I found out that it had dropped out of my bag into the lobby of the mailroom when i'd pulled out its partner. Still, far too much stress for my last week. Also fell on my bike, I was stationary, just tripped and collapsed on top of it - twisted the seat but that was easily fixed but also not needed at that tme of the day. More ecos in the afternoon - half of them mislabelled by treacherous receptionists who will be the first on the wall when the revolution comes. Remember, that's the same as stealing from me. Had to deposit a bunch of the heavier ones at the 885 coffeeshop (and that costs me a packet of candy every time)Radio played up in the afternoon but at least 7-11 was celebratingtheir 79th birthday or something and were givingaway free little slurpees all day - I drank far too much pop that day. Heather, one of the more alcoholic couriers, wsa given a $115 ticket for drinking at the art gallery - apparently a 'skanky ho' (her words) from 925 has been calling the police every day complaining about the couriers drinking in the art gallery (all public imbibing is illegain BC - not necessarily enforced but very puritanical laws in effect down here). Said my goodbye to kim, the driver who meets us after work - he's probably going on holiday tomorrow and I won't be seeing him again - a capital fellow, and one that will be sorely missed. It's all coming to a head now - - don't want to get too emotional but am starting to realise that this little adventure is coming to a bit ofa close.
Tuesday, 11 July 2006
El Capipain
10 July - One of the long term Vancouver couriers, Emory, will be making a move to Toronto later this week so she saw fit to organise a worktime scavenger hunt and race to celebrate. Registered early on with my fiver and can of beer but was distracted from doing proper completion by the inevitable work that interrupted the event. Events included stealing pens from receptions, a flat tyre fix race (couldnt be at the checkpoint for that one so missed out, probably a good thing because it takes me freaking ages), courier style test (are you wearing lycra shorts, jersey, gloves, skullcap, socks, bike shoes, do you shave your legs? For some reason wearing a helmet was left off the list ...), collecting underwear from receptionists (??? I'm far too much of a professional to ask such a thing but it was surprising how many of the couriers managed to get some - although I would guess that most of the underwear came from the Winners seconds store), individual time trial event (half way around the one block course my rear gear came off my hub - have no idea how it happened but as it happened on Robson St I ran off to Simon's to get the tool to fix it and by the time I eventually returned the checkpoint was abandoned so as far the timers were concerned the clock is still ticking - kind of reminded me of my last marathon attempt), sudoku and crossword competition, open mic cycling rap or poetry standoff, draw a picture that shows how cool a courier you are, and a bunch of other random things. Didn’t do nearly as bad as some but came nowhere near winning - Legs won by virtue of stealing 33 pens, at 10points a pop, it pretty much meant that she didn’t have to do any of the other events. Work wasn’t too busy throughout the day - did get the famed talbot mediation run, which was kind of nice but for the most part was just doing ECOs in the morning and afternoon. Nothing terribly exciting - had more blackberry issues - went through three fully charged batteries throughout the day - I think that there may be somethingwrong with my particular device. Angry Chris, my old dispatcher, came downtown and he seemed as bitter and offensive as ever, but it was good to see him - he certainly has a nevil reputation amongst the couriers for his temper but he is supposed to be the best bike dipatcher in the city - even the old timers vouch for that. After celebrating the end of the event down at pub 340 I teetered home where I was welcomed by my replacement gamera - the giant tortoise in the form of a picture taking device - would have been nice to have it on the weekend and if hp/ups (they're one and the same when it comes to fixing cameras under warranty) weren't so incompetent I may have had it. This time i'll be much more carful with it - wait a minute, I was carful with it last time - this time i'll be suthat my friends are more more carful with it, yes.
Monday, 10 July 2006
Lightweight
7 July - A strange work day - had more power issues with my supposedly brand new equipment - despite leaving both radio and blackberry charging all night the blackberry lost network connectivity around noon and I had a bit more 80s styling while I waited for a replacement to be sent down to me (lo and behold by the end of the day the replacement battery (third one i've had) was running low again. Also, had radio issues throughout the day as well - the device kept on losing contact with the SIM card so for short periods throughout the day I was completely cut off from the dispatcher - the battery was also running low throughout the day as well but lasted until the very end of the day - I was speaking to Scott, the afternoon dispatcher, and closing off for the day when the radio completely went. He ended up calling me on my phone to let me know about a final SHT. As I rode off my rear axle slipped out of the dropouts and I had to borrow Duncan's road bike to get me there - very nice bike but kind of hard to ride with the free wheel (rather than fixed) and the brakes locatetd right down in handlebar drops. After much wailing and gnashing of teeth and being patronised by Scott it turned out to be a no-load anyway. Another one of the weird ECO days though - picked up a bag in the morning and got rid of about 20 and picked up 38 in the afternoon - mostly all envelopes but a couple of big ones that I stashed away at the 885 coffeeshop with Maria (after bribing her with candy). I reallycant complain about this - the money for the ECO work is a lot better than the point-to-point if the volumes ar high enough and its a lot easier (unless the weight piles up too much) but it's not really messengering. Still, not too much longer to go and doing the ECO runs is presumably rewarded to the person who has earned it. All in all, lots of sitting around - did drop a red rose to one of the Phantm courier's girlfriends for their anniversary (he bought a dozen and got twelve different couriers to deliver them throughout the day - what a sweetie). After work had some beer at the gallery and then went down to Crab Park for another beer then wandered over to Emery's house for another one on the porch. Only four drinks throughout the evening but enough to almost knock me senseless. My capacity for strong drink has diminished somewhat over the year - can't be a bad thing but its making me a bit of a lightweight, especially amongst my current crowd.
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