Last Chance To See ... But I Don't Think I Will

4 September - Well, as has been stated many times in the past month 'all good things' - an 830pm flight out meant most of a day to hang out in London but i've been here and done that so couldn't get myself excited enough about anything to make a proper venture out to the city. Even the first female Beefeater couldn't do it. That, combined with a slightly nauseatingly sense of worry due to the fact that most of the city's tube system was down due to strikes and I had a vague feeling that tryg to escape the coutry woud be a trying task. So, my deciisio to go to see The Bourne Ultimatum was probably not the wisest - I was feeling quite strung out by the usual fear of a long haul flight as well as the premonition that it would be a difficult one and Mr Greengrass is quite adept at producing a taut (?) political thriller so I was really not feeling terribly comfortable throughout the afternoon. The Ultimatum was decidedly decent - i'd given up on the books long before we got to this stage in Mr Bourne's life so it was all new to me, all very exciting and action packed and there were more Icy Cold Angel of Death Nemeses that you could poke a stick at (which is a good thing, unless you're worried about making a flight that afternoon). Now, despite having arranged a taxi the previous day I had a naggingfeeling that there might be a problem with the tube strikes and the expected traffic so I thought I should get in touch with the taxi company just in case to bring the journey forward a bit but somehow i'd managed to squander all my phone credit (probably because I was forced to engage in so many wasteful SMS conversations) and also all my English change - had a heattd exchange with a f**king prick of a shopkeeper who wouldn't exchange coinage for a 10p piece even though there was one sittingon the counter (i dson't have to give you a reason not to change it! well, actually we live in a society and you f**king do you f**king c**t [I didn't use all of those words]) but despite eventually getting in touch with said taxi company they told me that there were issues due to the tube strike but they would do their best - every time I saw a black cab pass near i'd get a sickening feeling n my stomach because I knew I should just grab it but I knew that if I did then my taxi would turn up (which really isnm't a hug eproblem because it's not as if i'm going to be in country to face the punishment of abandoning a late taxito its fate) but the time crept on and when it eventually turned up it was over an hour after I asked and even that would have been pushing it. The taxi driver was slightly annoying wouldn't give me an answer when I tried to ask him whether it would be quicker to take the express train or get driven to the airport and was also fairly critical of my originalc choice of taxi company (who had ended up farming my trip out to his) - seriously mate, I don't care whcompany I use or what route I take - i'm leaving the country and I need to get on this f**king plane! Decision was made to get off at paddington and take the train (which was provbably quite wise) which was fairly direct in getting to Terminal 3 - upon arrival I was rushed through check in because I was so late but I then had to sit in security check queue for half an hour which meant sprinting through the airport to get to the gate - good thing i've got such good lungs and legs (????). After boarding we then waited for 1.5 hours for the baggage to be loaded (maybe it was my baggage ...) before we could take off. Well, it may have been 'conomy but at least it was Emirates with excellent food and an awesome entertainment system - pity my seat had a broken table, dodgy headphone socket and was stuck in between an overly talkative old man (who was very nice, i'm not complaining ...) and a slightly obese woman - the worst part was seeing the short wankers in the Emergency exit seats - even if you did stretch out you wouldn't hit the seat in front of me you deluded morons - seriously, those seats shoiuld be allocated by height - i'm very happy for a collosus to take the seat over me but seeng a midget just makes me see red.