Sunday 13 May 2007

Private Dicking Around

12 May – What do you do when you leave six paper napkins in your back pocket when you do a wash?  It’s been done before and it’ll be done again.  It’s semi-regular when the foil muesli bar packets are left in the back pocket due to a dearth of waste paper bins in my presence when I eat them and they’re often forgotten about by the time the shorts go into the wash but because they’re made of a plastic foil they generally don’t do too much damage in the wash but paper is never so forgiving.  Have taken on a new role as a detective – when the banking institutions and even the police don’t want to know about your problems sometimes you’ve got to take matters into your own hands and my initial investigations seem to have revealed that the culprit in the ethical dilemma is either a woman or a cross dresser (items identified that were purchased on my credit card include bikinis, scarves, tights, socks, a manicure kit, tweezers, an OK Weekly Magazine (showing that the thief is of below average intelligence), hair dye (going to try to change her identity before the task force closes in on her) - not much help from Target management with my initial enquiries but managed to convince them that they can’t hide behind privacy concerns when the purchase was made on my f**king credit card.  Various other tasks included eating very nice Thai food and negotiating choir parents trying to find the most appropriate child to take from an Australian Youth Choir.  Got the child but was sure we could have found one far less troublesome.  

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