Who's A Pretty Boy Then?

30 October - Squawk!!! I am! Now give me a f**king cracker!
Shaved today for the first time since 25 July 2005. In anticipation of the interview tomorrow, even though it's just for a shitty temping job I thought it would be best to shave. Decided to do it the night before because if anything went wrong (and lets face it, it's a possibility) I wanted my skin to have a night to recover. Had to be very careful because despite clippering sporadically for the past few months it's been a long time since blade has come into such close contact with my skin. Bought some overpriced shaving cream and razor blades to avoid any nicks and cuts and showered first, ensuring that my skin was very hot and the beard had had sufficient time to soften (one decent thing about the hostel is some decent hot water pressure). I then squeezed out a generous amount of cream, not too much, as it just gets in the way if you cake it on too thick. I then allowed a minute for it to soak in, further softening the bristles but not giving it time to dry out on my face. I then applied the blade in even, direct strokes down my face, always ensuring that I shaved IN the direction the hair grows. You will get an immediately closer shave if you shave against the hair but you will also raise the follicle to high and you'll end up taking off too much skin (a good shave should take off some skin, it's the best way for a man to exfoliate, which is why most men's facial skin products are not as heavy as women's) and if you consistently shave in the direction of the growth you'll ensure many good shaves to come. I had to be careful as there could have been little bumps and pimples that have grown up and not been worn away by constant shaving but due to my generally good practice of washing and moisturising this wasn't the case and I was luckily free of any nicks or cuts. Once I had finished I ran my hand over the slippery skin, ensuring I hadn't missed anything as there is nothing worse than finding a patchof rough beard an hour after shaving. I then rinsed off the remainder of the cream and applied a moisturiser of sesame and cocoa oil, one that has proved very suitable to me in the past. I then took time to preen and admire myself in the mirror and I applied 'Blue Steel' visages as I was reminded of how pretty I can be. It is very important to do this, I mean, what's the point of shaving? For your health? I don't think so.