Beware Of The Fire

3 July - Slept in, sweated around at the house for a while, had breakfast, drank coffee down the street, spoke to the HP technical centre, got rid of my sideburns, ate some cakey products, smoked some weed and then tried to do a little bit of reading.
While I was sprawled out on the bed I realised that I could smell something burning - looking out of my window I saw that a little fire had erupted on the roof. First thought was to empty my water bottle on the flames and it seemed to work for a little while but there was still a lot of smoke. Ran downstairs and found that the flames were licking their way on the underside of the gable so got another few jugs of water to try to quench it. Got rid of the flames but there was still far too much smoke coming out of the roof for my liking - all a bit much so I jumped on Celeste and rode around the block to the local fire station, figurng it would be quicker to tell them directly than by calling 911, when I got there it took a few attempts to vocalise the problem (there's a ... Gasp gasp gasp ... My roof is ... Fire!) but it wasn't long before the men were sliding down the pole (they really did have a firepole there, just like Batman and the Ghostbusters!) and into the truck to come around to the house. It didn’t take too long for them to put the fire out but they did have to chop a pretty big hole in the roof to get to the fire, which had spread through the dry rotting wood under the gable, also as smoke had found itself via the path of least resistance to my roof they ended up chopping a pretty big hole in my roof too, including a chunk of wall so that i've got a second window now. A few of the neighbours were out to look at the spectacle and even a reporter from Channel 13 news came down to cover it - he tried to interview me but started to put words in my mouth (i think you're trying to say that it spontaneously combusted! No, that's not what I was trying to say) so I waved him away and let him annoy the fireman instead. Real pity that I didn't have my camera available because it was a pretty incredible spectacle to see the fireman at work. In anevent, i'm not going to be at the house for too much longer but i'm stuck with a fairly annoying hole in the wall and roof which is not going to be pleasant if it rains again. It might be summer but the rain gods have not been kind to me in my time in this city. Spoke to the fire detective afterwards and he gave me a lowdown on what the probably cause was and later on had a bit of a chat witthe landlord, who'se on holiday at the moment so nothing is going to be fixed until he returns, by which time I might be already gone. The house is a bit of a firetrap, all old rotting wood and very flimsy - I think that whilst the damage that this little fire caused was pretty minimal it'exposed a few other problems that ar going to be pretty expensive to fix. Funny thing was, in the entire time, none of the fire alarms went off once.
Afterwards went and watched 'Nacho Libre', a singularly unfunny movie - the only two times that I even cracked a smile were a very amusing fart joke (only one of the many) and the climactic fight scene, which was f**king hilarious. Other than that, two thumbs down - oh jack black, how could you stoop so low ...