What's your alignment?

A statistician's guide to making pancakes

Retrieve: Given a target problem, retrieve from memory cases relevant to solving it. A case consists of a problem, its solution, and, typically, annotations about how the solution was derived. For example, suppose Fred wants to prepare blueberry pancakes. Being a novice cook, the most relevant experience he can recall is one in which he successfully made plain pancakes. The procedure he followed for making the plain pancakes, together with justifications for decisions made along the way, constitutes Fred's retrieved case.

Reuse: Map the solution from the previous case to the target problem. This may involve adapting the solution as needed to fit the new situation. In the pancake example, Fred must adapt his retrieved solution to include the addition of blueberries.

Revise: Having mapped the previous solution to the target situation, test the new solution in the real world (or a simulation) and, if necessary, revise. Suppose Fred adapted his pancake solution by adding blueberries to the batter. After mixing, he discovers that the batter has turned blue – an undesired effect. This suggests the following revision: delay the addition of blueberries until after the batter has been ladled into the pan.

Retain: After the solution has been successfully adapted to the target problem, store the resulting experience as a new case in memory. Fred, accordingly, records his new-found procedure for making blueberry pancakes, thereby enriching his set of stored experiences, and better preparing him for future pancake-making demands.

The Mountain

Ah, Summer Hill, the country town stuck in the middle of the city.

Photograms from the holiday

Miles and Miles of Crap

Last full day in Delhi - Monday's kind of like Sunday over here so for once the rickshaw drivers are truthful when they say things are closed - a bit of local wandering before i took a tuk-tuk into Connaught, he started by going through the motions of saying that it would be closed until 330, just 5 minutes at a handicrafts place but there is no way that i could stomach another 30 seconds in one of those places so i put my foot down. He was very sour about this and dumped me at the other end - Connaught is a series of concentric circles yet is very hard to navigate, almost a spiral as some of the streets tend to come to dead ends and you're pushed into the next circle - the streets are lined with columns that are all very alike - wanted to go to the movies, mainly to escape the oppressing heat - the big Bap's latest had been recommended but unfortunately there were no subtitles so i was forced into seeing some more conventional fair - first time i've been in a film with an intermission for years although this film obviously was not supposed to have one, basically, halfway through the lights came on and the film ground to a screeching halt right in the middle of a conversation (I can advise that it didn't affect the pacing) and we were instructed to go to the candy bar to buy something (they are so insistent about that in this country) and a bunch of ads were streamed.

As it was a Monday the Karol Bagh (the area where i'm staying) Market was on and i thought it would be relatively entertaining and an opportunity to get some last minute doo-dads to fill the gaps in my suitcase - well, the market was enormous - bigger than Notting Hill (the only equivalent temporary market i can compare it to) - miles and miles going through several streets, all filled with loud hawkers and hundreds of thousands (maybe ... we are in India after all) of buyers but so much of it was plastic crap - i couldn't count the number of belt, fake sunglasses, counterfeit clothing and bags and all of the things you expect at a market (including a way-too-pushy guy who was trying to fob a 64GB USB stick on me for about 10 minutes until i snapped at me when he started getting physically pushy) - people were buying it all and they weren't just tourists - this place continues to baffle me - the economics of it are hard to conceive - so many people selling stuff that just isn't worth buying - but they're doing it every week so it's obviously working ... some how. Just like the rest of the country!

Miles and Miles of Crap

Last full day in Delhi - Monday's kind of like Sunday over here so for once the rickshaw drivers are truthful when they say things are closed - a bit of local wandering before i took a tuk-tuk into Connaught, he started by going through the motions of saying that it would be closed until 330, just 5 minutes at a handicrafts place but there is no way that i could stomach another 30 seconds in one of those places so i put my foot down. He was very sour about this and dumped me at the other end - Connaught is a series of concentric circles yet is very hard to navigate, almost a spiral as some of the streets tend to come to dead ends and you're pushed into the next circle - the streets are lined with columns that are all very alike - wanted to go to the movies, mainly to escape the oppressing heat - the big Bap's latest had been recommended but unfortunately there were no subtitles so i was forced into seeing some more conventional fair - first time i've been in a film with an intermission for years although this film obviously was not supposed to have one, basically, halfway through the lights came on and the film ground to a screeching halt right in the middle of a conversation (I can advise that it didn't affect the pacing) and we were instructed to go to the candy bar to buy something (they are so insistent about that in this country) and a bunch of ads were streamed.

As it was a Monday the Karol Bagh (the area where i'm staying) Market was on and i thought it would be relatively entertaining and an opportunity to get some last minute doo-dads to fill the gaps in my suitcase - well, the market was enormous - bigger than Notting Hill (the only equivalent temporary market i can compare it to) - miles and miles going through several streets, all filled with loud hawkers and hundreds of thousands (maybe ... we are in India after all) of buyers but so much of it was plastic crap - i couldn't count the number of belt, fake sunglasses, counterfeit clothing and bags and all of the things you expect at a market (including a way-too-pushy guy who was trying to fob a 64GB USB stick on me for about 10 minutes until i snapped at me when he started getting physically pushy) - people were buying it all and they weren't just tourists - this place continues to baffle me - the economics of it are hard to conceive - so many people selling stuff that just isn't worth buying - but they're doing it every week so it's obviously working ... some how. Just like the rest of the country!

As You Wish

The Agara-Jaipur tour came to its conclusion today - no wakeup call but I had set my 330am alarm - too dark to properly get up and the snooze button was used, I was sure i was conscious, but blinked a few times and checked my clock to find that it was 430am which was time to leave - i was throwing everything in my bags when the bus driver came past all the stragglers doors to hurry us up - unfortunately i think i must have left my phone charger back in Jaipur because I don't seem to have it now. Excruciating few hours sleep on the bus - luckily being a single man meant that i have managed to score two seats next to one another, offset by the fact that the couple in front of me pushed their seats right back so they could sleep - nothing compared to the tiny buses of Vietnam many years ago but i did manage to drift off a bit.

A series of guides today, one hopped on the bus for each different site and a couple of new temples - i've noticed that quite a few of the sites we've gone to have been Hindi and Muslim temples where there is not a white person to be seen - the benefit of having the tour booked by Vamshi in Hyderabad is that i'm getting the Indian tour and a lot of the temples are active which means i get to see something that I'm sure the standard tourist doesn't get to see. The security at many of the temples in the Muslim areas is very serious - no phones, no cameras, no lighters or matches, of course you can take in your wallet (how else would they try to fleece you?) and i can't count how many times i've been felt up by a burly soldier, also, even though we've got to remove our shoes (occasionally for a fee, but sometimes not) there are soldiers in heavy boots plodding around, often armed with rifles or machine guns (which is a bit disturbing).

We saw the main attractions of Agra Fort and Taj Mahal, Indian entry 40 rupees, my tickets were 1000 - these ones DID have a fair whack of foreigners - both of these sites very beautiful, Taj Mahal especially, but it did feel like i was right back on tourist trail with those two (which, obviously, i am).

Have gotten to know my fellow travellers substantially better - a few of them are expats and are very fluent in English - whilst all of the other groups were couples or families, I've barely said a handful of words to any of the women - i don't know if they're shy or you just don't speak to single men over here - I'll be definitely glad to be finished with the bus now that the tour is over but i will miss the semi-familiar company.

A New Career

A 530 wakeup call this time, which is just preparation for tomorrow's one at 330am ... a few hours on the road before stopping for the worst of the Indian breakfasts I've had to endure (my insides are a shuddering mess) ... and its not just me, the same opinion was voiced by many of the AP crowd - I'm dreaming of foods without spices right now - I know i should be embracing the cuisine and I am for the most part but i can't do it 3 times a day ... i just can't ... the dark side of the efficiency of a tour is that you get shuttled everywhere ... sporadic freedoms to explore but generally you eat when they say you eat, you sleep when they say you sleep and you s**t whenever your body gives up trying to hold everything in.

An amazing Muslim temple in Agra - not one of the more conventional ones ... we had to take a rickshaw (of course) to take us to the top of the town through increasingly narrow streets until even they couldnt go any further - and we had to make the trek up ourselves (luckily, i acquired a banana to sooth my aching stomach on the way) - another one where we had to drop our shoes off and i bought a plate of flowers for donations - the interior had hundreds of people crammed in like sardines all struggling to get to the middle for their blessing (some of these rituals are so extreme that its enough to make one think of converting!) - i was hijacked by a family of Rajisthanis who were so thrilled to see a white guy - even though cameras were forbidden they took picture after picture of me (I can't count how many pictures people have taken of me on this trip) but eventually i had to excuse myself for our next stop - the town of Pooshka (I think... my Lonely Planet is still on my living room table in Stanmore) for our luncheon (another struggle), a not too pleasant place that was packed with even more insistent beggers than i've seen elsewhere - its heartbreaking to refuse them and the guides - we're told to just ignore them but the guides are considerably less tolerant of them than we are - i received a blessing at the lake and was promptly shaken up by the priest for a donation - some for the poor and some for him (I gave to the poor but not him although my companions have suggested that the priests are just as corrupt as the police in many of these areas).

The AP crowd have started to become a lot more talkative by now, its been a few days i suppose - a lot of them it seems just speak Telegu and some are more fluent in English than they are in Hindi so they are in a worse position than i am when it comes to the guidance - their questions have even veered off from the location of my wife (who i still haven't found) - the teenagers are definitely the most fluent and the easiest to talk to - all are quite shocked that i don't own a car and I use a bicycle for transport - the fact that i have six confuses them even more.

* * *

Took a quick rickshaw into town in order to avoid the hotel restaurant - as per any rickshaw driver taking a white man anywhere i was offered the chance to hire Rahul for the next day for the low, low price of 400 rupees and was told he had many tours he could give me (every path which i can guarantee would take me to a handicrafts store) - the driver asked me if i drove - i explained that i had a licence but didnt own a car - he shook his head as i'd misunderstood him - do i drive a rickshaw? Hmm, not really. Well, actually, really I do it turns out.

He insisted i get in the front with him and after a 5 second lesson of how the gears work (which I'm not sure i really understand yet) I was driving through ridiculous Jaipur traffic - trying to weave through cars, rickshaws (motorised and pedal powered), pedestrians, buses (!!!!) and trucks - as the traffic lights approached i found that the brake lever didn't work the way I thought it was supposed to but somehow geared down and came to a halt - tried to beg off to the backseat but was refused and had to continue until we found ourselves in (shock horror, a handicraft zone) - eventually Rahul took the reins back but THAT could well be the experience to define this trip.

Blinded by the Light

Wearing contact lenses is not much fun in India - the dust and pollution is excruciating on the corneas and it's a pain in the arse using bottled water to rinse them out. What I find strange is that I'm finding the glare over here intolerable and hardly anyone else is wearing sunglasses except for me (and the Indians who put mine on when they want to have their photogram taken with me). Priti mentioned that anti-malarials make you more sensitive to sunlight and you have a greater need for sunscreen when you're taking them. Are they making my eyes more sensitive to the light too?

Out of Delhi

Desperately tried to get transportation down to Connaught Place for a wander before leaving Delhi for a few days - the rickshaw drivers are worse than Bangkok - even with specific instructions as to where to go they are drawn like moths to a flame to the handicrafts/pashminas/jewellery stores - everything will be shut because its too early (I know i've only been here for a few days but i'm not that green!!!) - just go have a look, you don't have to buy anything - eventually gave up thinking it would be quicker to take a 10 minute diversion at a handicrafts place than arguing and it wasn't too long before i found myself in the tourist hub - saw a handful of white faces down there but still very few, debated whether to see the new Transformers (negative) and found a very cheap India, Nepal and Bhutan only edition of Fall of Giants (some nice pulp to read as I am edging dangerously close to the end (as it currently stands) of A Song Of Ice and Fire) - pleasant to wander and it was relatively uncrowded so quite enjoyed the stroll. I had a very early wakeup for the next tour that Vamshi had organised for me so I tried to have an early night but received some very strange phone calls to my room over the evening relating to the seedier elements of the city.

The bus to Jaipur was leaving at 6am and i had to check out AND get my ticket by 545 - haven't really settled in to any particular time routine so it wasnt too difficult - just after i had my bus boarding pass i received a call from a fatigued Rajveer telling me that the travel company was wondering where i was (the efficiencies of the system are staggering ...) - this tour had a handful of the AP guys from the previous tour and a lot more - a few more English speakers in this group (which is lucky because our guide is doing everything in English for my own benefit) - a lot of them find is particularly amusing that all of my entries are 3 to 10 times as expensive as theirs (although my entry cards tend to be cards (with the occasional souvenir postcard thrown in) and their's are often just fax flimsies) - Amber City was interesting, the Maharajah's observatory contains the best collection of sundials (including the world's biggest) you're ever likely to see and we also saw a smattering of temples (not fatigued of this yet) and other sites of the Pink City's former (and current) greatness.

The inconsistency and complexity of pricing is hard to grasp - the security varies widely, some places you can't photograph, others you can photograph but not video, matches and lighters (and even cigarette packets) are confiscated in some, some places will charge you per camera you have on your person (that includes mobile phones), different rates for students, locals, private tours, foreigners and foreigner students (unfortunately my only student ID I have on my has expired) - and they can be strict about the enforcing! Whilst at the Maharajah's palace we were accosted by a security guard who counted the number of cameras in our group and the tickets our guide was carrying - later when one guy was using his mobile phone camera to shoot a video he was accosted because his ticket only entitled him to take still photographs - not 100% sure but it appeared that the 500 rupee fine was replaced by a 200 rupee bribe - such is India i guess ...

Did do some souveneiring in the end which involved haphazard haggling (but you cannot tell ANYONE about the deal i've given you! - It was always my plan to buy some stuff - I just wanted to do it on MY terms though - after we'd checked in to the hotel a few groups tried to use the hotel's free shuttle to the city which ended up taking us straight to another cottage industries shop. It started to get frustrating but there's no point losing one's temper with someone who can't speak your language - its good to see that the Indians who are on the trip with me were getting just as annoyed as me - it also seems that as Telugu speakers they are having almost as trouble voicing that frustration as I am!

Touring

I'm supposing one could say that its advantageous that my tours were booked in India by an Indian - at least when it comes to the pricing - my Delhi City tour was very reasonable and II found myself on a busful of Hyderabadians, many of them visiting New Delhi for the first time. Whilst the bus was in AC comfort which is ridiculously cold after 5 minutes its very welcome every time the bus was entered - the tour director luckily spoke in English (perhaps for my benefit because many of those in the bus barely spoke any) although the volume was turned extremely high and even though i've been here for over a week and have pretty decent experience breaking down Indian accents i found him a bit difficult to understand (and I'm presuming the domestic travellers did as well considering what I picked up of their English skills - at least they had the ability to get clarification from him afterwards). As tours go, it was pretty good - not too much mucking around, we were given very specific timings that weren't too long (at this stop you will have 30 minutes ... that is Three ... Zero. Which means you will be back at the bus at Two Forty Five ... That is Two ... Four ... Five!) and there are some tremendous sites in New Delhi - perhaps A Song of Ice and Fire is going to my head right now but the Red Fort would have to be one of the most glorious medieval castles I've ever seen and I'm starting to understand why a lot of westerners get taken in by the Hindu faith (the ceremonies are a lot more FUN than Christianity, even if they are just as invalid when all is said and done).

Interesting for me is that nearly all of the tourists (at least where I've been thus far) have been Indian (from all of the other states) - the government obviously encourages this (the tour director's announcement that there would be an additional 20 rupee charge for two of the sites had me pulling out two battered notes only to be told that I was a foreigner i would be subjected to FIVE HUNDRED rupees - i started to protest - how did he know that I wasn't native born? But sarcasm tends to be lost on these people so i shelled up) - I'm also still getting questioned about the wherabouts of my wife (she's got to be around here somewhere), my country (which seems to prompt pleased statements of 'Ricky Ponting!' followed by a half-hearted discussion of cricket on my part), my qualifications (its easier to advance 6 months on that one), my job and occasionally even my salary. In the entire time that I've been here I don't think I've had a single conversation with a native English speaker - in some way its refreshing, hope i'm coherent on my return.

* * *

Finally, after two days of begging - some toilet paper has been delivered to my room!

* * *

Some more touring today, a much smaller group of AP's (this time with zero English) with me this time and a much quieter guide, the train museum was a nice surprise, and the national museum was also very pleasant (the bureaucracy a foreigner has to go through to get into some of these places is getting to me though) was followed by the major site, the Ashardham temple - the mandir in the middle was absolutely incredible - gigantic and every single bit of its surface was carved with beautiful people, elephants and gods. The security of the place was a bit ridiculous - apparently handled by a private firm, the only thing you were allowed to bring is was cash - everything else had to be left on the bus and i had to remove belt, sunglasses and wallet as i went through the metal detector and was felt up by a burly Gujarati (even the children were being frisked) - i suppose its nice to be in a place where you are free of the mobile phone although i felt a twinge at not being able to wiki the place whilst there.

The lotus garden near the end of the tour was interesting - loads of platitudes from various historical figures (Indian and otherwise) making bold claims as to the existence of God and some very hostile commentary towards atheism (I'm sure it would make Dawkins rage! I can't imagine him ever stepping foot in the place though)

The Sting

Upon arriving in New Delhi fatigue was starting to set in - just a handful of hours with Indian TV blaring in the background for a part of it then the 300km drive from Amoor to Hyderabad where i managed to slip away with neck creaking consequences for an hour or two before the flight. Joyfully, i got an exit row although on a domestic Indigo flight that barely means knee room, but better than the alternative.

The hotel room was sparse but more than adequate - i was in sore need of sustenance after the previous day's expulsions but couldnt stomach the idea of anything Indian (no offence to the fantastic cuisine of this land but i wouldn't go to an Indian restaurant for three meals a day back at home for a week so i shant do it here) - McDonalds was calling with its regional affectations - no red meat available but some old faithfuls were there to remind me of ohm - one thing to note is that this is the ONLY place where I've seen fat children anywhere in the country.

This hotel was far more central than some of the others ive stayed in thus far so it was a good opportunity to do some walking - thus far i've found i've been stuck in cars for a lot of my trip which is not the way i like to explore a city - i was reasonably central and whilst i didnt have a map on my person i felt i could explore enough without getting too hopelessly lost.

There's something about someone who has just arrived in a city, no matter how hardened they may be, that just screams 'first day' so it wasn't long before i was approached, subtle like, by a local, and I don't want to be judgemental but stereotypes are a real time saver, who appeared to have a touch of the Rominy to him, he started off with advice about using the metro rather than the rickshaws and he suggested a touristy area (where i was going to go anyway) so he accompanied me - very chivalrously telling me to walk on the other side of him when we did the leap of faith into the heavy moving traffic, bought me a chai as we babbled about travelling things - he seemed to be edging towards trying to sell me hashish but also directed me into one of the cottage industry shops where i was offered pashminas, traditional shirts and jewellery (the owner there intimated the incredible value of the jewellery, perhaps trying a variant of the Thailand jewellery scam which i bested several years previously). As i had no wife (nor girlfriend) the jewellery pushing was half-hearted at best although they did suggest i purchase the ubiquitous masturbating monkey (he turns up everywhere!). I knew there was a scam coming but was having a hard time working out what it was - i was getting a bit of a free tour and he was interesting enough - he started dropping in hints of a tale of woe (growing up on the streets and living in a tent with his children) and also gave a clue about being illiterate and knowing that if he learned to read he would be on his way to success.

He thought aloud that if he had a dictionary (even a second hand one) he would be able to use it to push himself and his family upwards and as he didn't want to sell me anything (because i was such a nice guy of course) perhaps we could find a bookstore and i could get one. Well, we found the bookshop (run by a Sikh) and lo and behold he had that second hand Hindi-English dictionary right under the counter and he was selling it for 1400 rupees and thats when i saw it. 1400 rupees is not a huge amount of money but its more than a new one would cost in Australia - I laughed when i saw the quote written down - it had been a few hours now and i was getting a little bored and tired and decided to head back hotel ways - he changed his tack and suggested my presence there as a westerner meant that he was overcharging (as Sikhs are won't to do!) and claimed that he could get it for 600 rupees if he went back by himself, then 500 rupees ... it was definitely a bit more creative than some of the scams i've seen or read about.

A lot of the more hardened travelers i've spoken to over the years consider anything more than local prices is a scam for tourists but in the end, our buying power is ridiculously high over here compared to your average local - paying $10 for something that you could potentially get for $2 is not going to break you - i don't like being rorted for nothing but being overcharged is hardly something that I'm going to lose sleep over (especially when i'm paying less for it than i would at ohm) - if somebody tries to do the dance and it's an interesting dance I will dance with them but I'm not going to buy them a dictionary.