Evil Melon

What's your alignment?

2011-11-22T17:07:00.001+11:00

A statistician's guide to making pancakes

2011-10-18T18:29:00.001+11:00

Retrieve: Given a target problem, retrieve from memory cases relevant to solving it. A case consists of a problem, its solution, and, typically, annotations about how the solution was derived. For example, suppose Fred wants to prepare blueberry pancakes. Being a novice cook, the most relevant experience he can recall is one in which he successfully made plain pancakes. The procedure he followed for making the plain pancakes, together with justifications for decisions made along the way, constitutes Fred's retrieved case.

Reuse: Map the solution from the previous case to the target problem. This may involve adapting the solution as needed to fit the new situation. In the pancake example, Fred must adapt his retrieved solution to include the addition of blueberries.

Revise: Having mapped the previous solution to the target situation, test the new solution in the real world (or a simulation) and, if necessary, revise. Suppose Fred adapted his pancake solution by adding blueberries to the batter. After mixing, he discovers that the batter has turned blue – an undesired effect. This suggests the following revision: delay the addition of blueberries until after the batter has been ladled into the pan.

Retain: After the solution has been successfully adapted to the target problem, store the resulting experience as a new case in memory. Fred, accordingly, records his new-found procedure for making blueberry pancakes, thereby enriching his set of stored experiences, and better preparing him for future pancake-making demands.

The Mountain

2011-09-24T16:02:00.002+10:00

Ah, Summer Hill, the country town stuck in the middle of the city.

Photograms from the holiday

2011-07-07T19:11:00.002+10:00

Miles and Miles of Crap

2011-07-06T03:07:00.002+10:00

Last full day in Delhi - Monday's kind of like Sunday over here so for once the rickshaw drivers are truthful when they say things are closed - a bit of local wandering before i took a tuk-tuk into Connaught, he started by going through the motions of saying that it would be closed until 330, just 5 minutes at a handicrafts place but there is no way that i could stomach another 30 seconds in one of those places so i put my foot down. He was very sour about this and dumped me at the other end - Connaught is a series of concentric circles yet is very hard to navigate, almost a spiral as some of the streets tend to come to dead ends and you're pushed into the next circle - the streets are lined with columns that are all very alike - wanted to go to the movies, mainly to escape the oppressing heat - the big Bap's latest had been recommended but unfortunately there were no subtitles so i was forced into seeing some more conventional fair - first time i've been in a film with an intermission for years although this film obviously was not supposed to have one, basically, halfway through the lights came on and the film ground to a screeching halt right in the middle of a conversation (I can advise that it didn't affect the pacing) and we were instructed to go to the candy bar to buy something (they are so insistent about that in this country) and a bunch of ads were streamed.

As it was a Monday the Karol Bagh (the area where i'm staying) Market was on and i thought it would be relatively entertaining and an opportunity to get some last minute doo-dads to fill the gaps in my suitcase - well, the market was enormous - bigger than Notting Hill (the only equivalent temporary market i can compare it to) - miles and miles going through several streets, all filled with loud hawkers and hundreds of thousands (maybe ... we are in India after all) of buyers but so much of it was plastic crap - i couldn't count the number of belt, fake sunglasses, counterfeit clothing and bags and all of the things you expect at a market (including a way-too-pushy guy who was trying to fob a 64GB USB stick on me for about 10 minutes until i snapped at me when he started getting physically pushy) - people were buying it all and they weren't just tourists - this place continues to baffle me - the economics of it are hard to conceive - so many people selling stuff that just isn't worth buying - but they're doing it every week so it's obviously working ... some how. Just like the rest of the country!

Miles and Miles of Crap

2011-07-06T03:07:00.001+10:00

As You Wish

2011-07-06T03:05:00.000+10:00

The Agara-Jaipur tour came to its conclusion today - no wakeup call but I had set my 330am alarm - too dark to properly get up and the snooze button was used, I was sure i was conscious, but blinked a few times and checked my clock to find that it was 430am which was time to leave - i was throwing everything in my bags when the bus driver came past all the stragglers doors to hurry us up - unfortunately i think i must have left my phone charger back in Jaipur because I don't seem to have it now. Excruciating few hours sleep on the bus - luckily being a single man meant that i have managed to score two seats next to one another, offset by the fact that the couple in front of me pushed their seats right back so they could sleep - nothing compared to the tiny buses of Vietnam many years ago but i did manage to drift off a bit.

A series of guides today, one hopped on the bus for each different site and a couple of new temples - i've noticed that quite a few of the sites we've gone to have been Hindi and Muslim temples where there is not a white person to be seen - the benefit of having the tour booked by Vamshi in Hyderabad is that i'm getting the Indian tour and a lot of the temples are active which means i get to see something that I'm sure the standard tourist doesn't get to see. The security at many of the temples in the Muslim areas is very serious - no phones, no cameras, no lighters or matches, of course you can take in your wallet (how else would they try to fleece you?) and i can't count how many times i've been felt up by a burly soldier, also, even though we've got to remove our shoes (occasionally for a fee, but sometimes not) there are soldiers in heavy boots plodding around, often armed with rifles or machine guns (which is a bit disturbing).

We saw the main attractions of Agra Fort and Taj Mahal, Indian entry 40 rupees, my tickets were 1000 - these ones DID have a fair whack of foreigners - both of these sites very beautiful, Taj Mahal especially, but it did feel like i was right back on tourist trail with those two (which, obviously, i am).

Have gotten to know my fellow travellers substantially better - a few of them are expats and are very fluent in English - whilst all of the other groups were couples or families, I've barely said a handful of words to any of the women - i don't know if they're shy or you just don't speak to single men over here - I'll be definitely glad to be finished with the bus now that the tour is over but i will miss the semi-familiar company.

A New Career

2011-07-03T02:26:00.001+10:00

A 530 wakeup call this time, which is just preparation for tomorrow's one at 330am ... a few hours on the road before stopping for the worst of the Indian breakfasts I've had to endure (my insides are a shuddering mess) ... and its not just me, the same opinion was voiced by many of the AP crowd - I'm dreaming of foods without spices right now - I know i should be embracing the cuisine and I am for the most part but i can't do it 3 times a day ... i just can't ... the dark side of the efficiency of a tour is that you get shuttled everywhere ... sporadic freedoms to explore but generally you eat when they say you eat, you sleep when they say you sleep and you s**t whenever your body gives up trying to hold everything in.

An amazing Muslim temple in Agra - not one of the more conventional ones ... we had to take a rickshaw (of course) to take us to the top of the town through increasingly narrow streets until even they couldnt go any further - and we had to make the trek up ourselves (luckily, i acquired a banana to sooth my aching stomach on the way) - another one where we had to drop our shoes off and i bought a plate of flowers for donations - the interior had hundreds of people crammed in like sardines all struggling to get to the middle for their blessing (some of these rituals are so extreme that its enough to make one think of converting!) - i was hijacked by a family of Rajisthanis who were so thrilled to see a white guy - even though cameras were forbidden they took picture after picture of me (I can't count how many pictures people have taken of me on this trip) but eventually i had to excuse myself for our next stop - the town of Pooshka (I think... my Lonely Planet is still on my living room table in Stanmore) for our luncheon (another struggle), a not too pleasant place that was packed with even more insistent beggers than i've seen elsewhere - its heartbreaking to refuse them and the guides - we're told to just ignore them but the guides are considerably less tolerant of them than we are - i received a blessing at the lake and was promptly shaken up by the priest for a donation - some for the poor and some for him (I gave to the poor but not him although my companions have suggested that the priests are just as corrupt as the police in many of these areas).

The AP crowd have started to become a lot more talkative by now, its been a few days i suppose - a lot of them it seems just speak Telegu and some are more fluent in English than they are in Hindi so they are in a worse position than i am when it comes to the guidance - their questions have even veered off from the location of my wife (who i still haven't found) - the teenagers are definitely the most fluent and the easiest to talk to - all are quite shocked that i don't own a car and I use a bicycle for transport - the fact that i have six confuses them even more.

* * *

Took a quick rickshaw into town in order to avoid the hotel restaurant - as per any rickshaw driver taking a white man anywhere i was offered the chance to hire Rahul for the next day for the low, low price of 400 rupees and was told he had many tours he could give me (every path which i can guarantee would take me to a handicrafts store) - the driver asked me if i drove - i explained that i had a licence but didnt own a car - he shook his head as i'd misunderstood him - do i drive a rickshaw? Hmm, not really. Well, actually, really I do it turns out.

He insisted i get in the front with him and after a 5 second lesson of how the gears work (which I'm not sure i really understand yet) I was driving through ridiculous Jaipur traffic - trying to weave through cars, rickshaws (motorised and pedal powered), pedestrians, buses (!!!!) and trucks - as the traffic lights approached i found that the brake lever didn't work the way I thought it was supposed to but somehow geared down and came to a halt - tried to beg off to the backseat but was refused and had to continue until we found ourselves in (shock horror, a handicraft zone) - eventually Rahul took the reins back but THAT could well be the experience to define this trip.

Blinded by the Light

2011-07-03T02:12:00.004+10:00

Wearing contact lenses is not much fun in India - the dust and pollution is excruciating on the corneas and it's a pain in the arse using bottled water to rinse them out. What I find strange is that I'm finding the glare over here intolerable and hardly anyone else is wearing sunglasses except for me (and the Indians who put mine on when they want to have their photogram taken with me). Priti mentioned that anti-malarials make you more sensitive to sunlight and you have a greater need for sunscreen when you're taking them. Are they making my eyes more sensitive to the light too?

Out of Delhi

2011-07-03T02:12:00.001+10:00

Desperately tried to get transportation down to Connaught Place for a wander before leaving Delhi for a few days - the rickshaw drivers are worse than Bangkok - even with specific instructions as to where to go they are drawn like moths to a flame to the handicrafts/pashminas/jewellery stores - everything will be shut because its too early (I know i've only been here for a few days but i'm not that green!!!) - just go have a look, you don't have to buy anything - eventually gave up thinking it would be quicker to take a 10 minute diversion at a handicrafts place than arguing and it wasn't too long before i found myself in the tourist hub - saw a handful of white faces down there but still very few, debated whether to see the new Transformers (negative) and found a very cheap India, Nepal and Bhutan only edition of Fall of Giants (some nice pulp to read as I am edging dangerously close to the end (as it currently stands) of A Song Of Ice and Fire) - pleasant to wander and it was relatively uncrowded so quite enjoyed the stroll. I had a very early wakeup for the next tour that Vamshi had organised for me so I tried to have an early night but received some very strange phone calls to my room over the evening relating to the seedier elements of the city.

The bus to Jaipur was leaving at 6am and i had to check out AND get my ticket by 545 - haven't really settled in to any particular time routine so it wasnt too difficult - just after i had my bus boarding pass i received a call from a fatigued Rajveer telling me that the travel company was wondering where i was (the efficiencies of the system are staggering ...) - this tour had a handful of the AP guys from the previous tour and a lot more - a few more English speakers in this group (which is lucky because our guide is doing everything in English for my own benefit) - a lot of them find is particularly amusing that all of my entries are 3 to 10 times as expensive as theirs (although my entry cards tend to be cards (with the occasional souvenir postcard thrown in) and their's are often just fax flimsies) - Amber City was interesting, the Maharajah's observatory contains the best collection of sundials (including the world's biggest) you're ever likely to see and we also saw a smattering of temples (not fatigued of this yet) and other sites of the Pink City's former (and current) greatness.

The inconsistency and complexity of pricing is hard to grasp - the security varies widely, some places you can't photograph, others you can photograph but not video, matches and lighters (and even cigarette packets) are confiscated in some, some places will charge you per camera you have on your person (that includes mobile phones), different rates for students, locals, private tours, foreigners and foreigner students (unfortunately my only student ID I have on my has expired) - and they can be strict about the enforcing! Whilst at the Maharajah's palace we were accosted by a security guard who counted the number of cameras in our group and the tickets our guide was carrying - later when one guy was using his mobile phone camera to shoot a video he was accosted because his ticket only entitled him to take still photographs - not 100% sure but it appeared that the 500 rupee fine was replaced by a 200 rupee bribe - such is India i guess ...

Did do some souveneiring in the end which involved haphazard haggling (but you cannot tell ANYONE about the deal i've given you! - It was always my plan to buy some stuff - I just wanted to do it on MY terms though - after we'd checked in to the hotel a few groups tried to use the hotel's free shuttle to the city which ended up taking us straight to another cottage industries shop. It started to get frustrating but there's no point losing one's temper with someone who can't speak your language - its good to see that the Indians who are on the trip with me were getting just as annoyed as me - it also seems that as Telugu speakers they are having almost as trouble voicing that frustration as I am!

Touring

2011-06-30T22:48:00.001+10:00

I'm supposing one could say that its advantageous that my tours were booked in India by an Indian - at least when it comes to the pricing - my Delhi City tour was very reasonable and II found myself on a busful of Hyderabadians, many of them visiting New Delhi for the first time. Whilst the bus was in AC comfort which is ridiculously cold after 5 minutes its very welcome every time the bus was entered - the tour director luckily spoke in English (perhaps for my benefit because many of those in the bus barely spoke any) although the volume was turned extremely high and even though i've been here for over a week and have pretty decent experience breaking down Indian accents i found him a bit difficult to understand (and I'm presuming the domestic travellers did as well considering what I picked up of their English skills - at least they had the ability to get clarification from him afterwards). As tours go, it was pretty good - not too much mucking around, we were given very specific timings that weren't too long (at this stop you will have 30 minutes ... that is Three ... Zero. Which means you will be back at the bus at Two Forty Five ... That is Two ... Four ... Five!) and there are some tremendous sites in New Delhi - perhaps A Song of Ice and Fire is going to my head right now but the Red Fort would have to be one of the most glorious medieval castles I've ever seen and I'm starting to understand why a lot of westerners get taken in by the Hindu faith (the ceremonies are a lot more FUN than Christianity, even if they are just as invalid when all is said and done).

Interesting for me is that nearly all of the tourists (at least where I've been thus far) have been Indian (from all of the other states) - the government obviously encourages this (the tour director's announcement that there would be an additional 20 rupee charge for two of the sites had me pulling out two battered notes only to be told that I was a foreigner i would be subjected to FIVE HUNDRED rupees - i started to protest - how did he know that I wasn't native born? But sarcasm tends to be lost on these people so i shelled up) - I'm also still getting questioned about the wherabouts of my wife (she's got to be around here somewhere), my country (which seems to prompt pleased statements of 'Ricky Ponting!' followed by a half-hearted discussion of cricket on my part), my qualifications (its easier to advance 6 months on that one), my job and occasionally even my salary. In the entire time that I've been here I don't think I've had a single conversation with a native English speaker - in some way its refreshing, hope i'm coherent on my return.

* * *

Finally, after two days of begging - some toilet paper has been delivered to my room!

* * *

Some more touring today, a much smaller group of AP's (this time with zero English) with me this time and a much quieter guide, the train museum was a nice surprise, and the national museum was also very pleasant (the bureaucracy a foreigner has to go through to get into some of these places is getting to me though) was followed by the major site, the Ashardham temple - the mandir in the middle was absolutely incredible - gigantic and every single bit of its surface was carved with beautiful people, elephants and gods. The security of the place was a bit ridiculous - apparently handled by a private firm, the only thing you were allowed to bring is was cash - everything else had to be left on the bus and i had to remove belt, sunglasses and wallet as i went through the metal detector and was felt up by a burly Gujarati (even the children were being frisked) - i suppose its nice to be in a place where you are free of the mobile phone although i felt a twinge at not being able to wiki the place whilst there.

The lotus garden near the end of the tour was interesting - loads of platitudes from various historical figures (Indian and otherwise) making bold claims as to the existence of God and some very hostile commentary towards atheism (I'm sure it would make Dawkins rage! I can't imagine him ever stepping foot in the place though)

The Sting

2011-06-30T22:47:00.000+10:00

Upon arriving in New Delhi fatigue was starting to set in - just a handful of hours with Indian TV blaring in the background for a part of it then the 300km drive from Amoor to Hyderabad where i managed to slip away with neck creaking consequences for an hour or two before the flight. Joyfully, i got an exit row although on a domestic Indigo flight that barely means knee room, but better than the alternative.

The hotel room was sparse but more than adequate - i was in sore need of sustenance after the previous day's expulsions but couldnt stomach the idea of anything Indian (no offence to the fantastic cuisine of this land but i wouldn't go to an Indian restaurant for three meals a day back at home for a week so i shant do it here) - McDonalds was calling with its regional affectations - no red meat available but some old faithfuls were there to remind me of ohm - one thing to note is that this is the ONLY place where I've seen fat children anywhere in the country.

This hotel was far more central than some of the others ive stayed in thus far so it was a good opportunity to do some walking - thus far i've found i've been stuck in cars for a lot of my trip which is not the way i like to explore a city - i was reasonably central and whilst i didnt have a map on my person i felt i could explore enough without getting too hopelessly lost.

There's something about someone who has just arrived in a city, no matter how hardened they may be, that just screams 'first day' so it wasn't long before i was approached, subtle like, by a local, and I don't want to be judgemental but stereotypes are a real time saver, who appeared to have a touch of the Rominy to him, he started off with advice about using the metro rather than the rickshaws and he suggested a touristy area (where i was going to go anyway) so he accompanied me - very chivalrously telling me to walk on the other side of him when we did the leap of faith into the heavy moving traffic, bought me a chai as we babbled about travelling things - he seemed to be edging towards trying to sell me hashish but also directed me into one of the cottage industry shops where i was offered pashminas, traditional shirts and jewellery (the owner there intimated the incredible value of the jewellery, perhaps trying a variant of the Thailand jewellery scam which i bested several years previously). As i had no wife (nor girlfriend) the jewellery pushing was half-hearted at best although they did suggest i purchase the ubiquitous masturbating monkey (he turns up everywhere!). I knew there was a scam coming but was having a hard time working out what it was - i was getting a bit of a free tour and he was interesting enough - he started dropping in hints of a tale of woe (growing up on the streets and living in a tent with his children) and also gave a clue about being illiterate and knowing that if he learned to read he would be on his way to success.

He thought aloud that if he had a dictionary (even a second hand one) he would be able to use it to push himself and his family upwards and as he didn't want to sell me anything (because i was such a nice guy of course) perhaps we could find a bookstore and i could get one. Well, we found the bookshop (run by a Sikh) and lo and behold he had that second hand Hindi-English dictionary right under the counter and he was selling it for 1400 rupees and thats when i saw it. 1400 rupees is not a huge amount of money but its more than a new one would cost in Australia - I laughed when i saw the quote written down - it had been a few hours now and i was getting a little bored and tired and decided to head back hotel ways - he changed his tack and suggested my presence there as a westerner meant that he was overcharging (as Sikhs are won't to do!) and claimed that he could get it for 600 rupees if he went back by himself, then 500 rupees ... it was definitely a bit more creative than some of the scams i've seen or read about.

A lot of the more hardened travelers i've spoken to over the years consider anything more than local prices is a scam for tourists but in the end, our buying power is ridiculously high over here compared to your average local - paying $10 for something that you could potentially get for $2 is not going to break you - i don't like being rorted for nothing but being overcharged is hardly something that I'm going to lose sleep over (especially when i'm paying less for it than i would at ohm) - if somebody tries to do the dance and it's an interesting dance I will dance with them but I'm not going to buy them a dictionary.

Hyderabad Hydraulics

2011-06-28T13:41:00.002+10:00

A brief "looseness" early on in the trip gave me some hope that the risks of Indian infections would be very minor but the day after the wedding left those hopes shattered. I found myself having one of those delirious dreams that only happens when your body knows something is wrong - a pounding headache was what awaited me when i came out of it and it was all i could do to crawl over to my bed and scrabble for some Advil - the instant coffee that I hoped might clear my head somewhat was expelled in perfect liquid form 10 minutes later and when breakfast came the only thing i could tolerate was some juice which also came back up perfectly (it doesn't taste as good the second time around) - everything that went in was coming back up minutes (and inevitably the rest of my body's water was finding alternative means of exiting).

The friendly waiters at the resort gave me a few opinions as to what i could be - did you take liquor last night, sir? Well, i had a beer. That must be it then!

The cause could have been anything - over ripe mangos, something from the wedding but most likely to my thoughts was the kalu (I think that's what it was called) drink that i took on the way home from the wedding. In between the thousands of mango stands that line the streets and highways there were occasionally women with earthenware pots selling the national drink, a date palm water. Rahul's wife (and I am shamed that I have forgotten her name ... although she would always address me as Brother [so i guess she forgot my name too but i could call her sister]) called it 'white wine' and would i like to try some.

Thinking it must have been some fermented version of it i thought it would be good to try but it was perfectly natural with no additives and was very delicious. The first time I tried it they made sure i stayed in the car while they went and fetched it. On the second day, i thought i'd go get some myself and it was then that i realised conditions may not have been up to Dr Bhatt's standards - flies and ants everywhere - the earthenware cup that the woman served it to me in was rinsed out from another bucket of water she had next to her (THAT's the most likely culprit i think) - it was delicious and i will definitely have it again I hope but that's the risk one takes when in India.

My driver came to take me to Amoor, Raj's home village, where we would be having the reception - I was a bit delirious with dehydration and the headache - we stopped once to get some tea, i thought i might be able to handle some Sprite but no sooner did it go in than it came straight out again. Not the best condition for the party but i endured.

Upon arriving at Raj's place I had some more foods and drinks pushed upon me but i couldn't even consider taking more than a sip to be polite and after meeting some more of his fambly i was soon picked up by Vamshi, his old school friend, and a different man from Raj you wouldn't find. Vamshi had sorted out the rest of my touring through Delhi way and was adamant that everything would be fine and if anything went wrong I was to call Vamshi and Vamshi would sort it out. He took me to the Premier Lodge where I would be staying the night so i could rest before the reception. Whilst I seemed to get a few too many opportunities to rest this was one that i wanted to take, unfortunately, Vamshi had other ideas and no sooner had i dumped my bag in my room than i was dragged into another room for whiskey and beer and very spicy food - I desperately tried to explain that i just couldn't take anything in - I was throwing up constantly and it wasnt that the food was too spicy, i like spicy food, i can take spicy food, just, right now, it's just not going to happen.

Unfortunately this pleading fell on deaf ears and drinks were poured and put into my hand, food was put into my lap, and i sipped and nibbled to keep them quiet - desperately hoping it wouldn't come straight up. Perhaps the whiskey killed the bug because nothing came up after that - i was extremely wary of drinking considering i'd had no food in my system for about 24 hours and was very dehydrated but i eventually managed to extricate myself and got a few hours sleep before we all headed to the reception.

Vamshi and rest of his crew were roaring drunk by the time i woke and they were still trying to ply me with more booze - I still had a headache but luckily things seeemed to be able to sit in my stomach this time - my instructions for dress was formal (as per the wedding) - I'd worn a suit the previous day and found i was the only one doing that and Raj clarified "formal" as being just jeans and a t-shirt or something (he forgot to put the IN in front of it I think) but this time when I did wear jeans and a t-shirt this was the time everyone was dressing up - i just did what i was told so i felt my Conscience Clea(red). The reception had a few rituals but basically seemed to be Rajveer and Priyanka standing in front of the flowers with every permutation of family and friend member geting photographed - soon afterwards i went to try to get some food and was dragged into the incredible kitchen (photos to come one day) where the spicy meats were piled on to my plate - it must have been the whiskey because it all stayed down - lots of introductions with the main body of questions being variations on Are you married? Why not? What are your qualifications? What do you do?

The less said about the subsequent hotel night the better - suffice to say I did get a few hours of fitful sleep (only due to complete exhaustion) and I understand why Raj offered me the opportunity to stay at another hotel in the next town ... but that's for another post.

The Wedding

2011-06-28T13:40:00.000+10:00

Well, the main reason for me being here was today - having been given strict instructions to be at Sai Baba's temple by 11am it was mildly frustrating when my driver arrived at the resort at 11am - perhaps he got it mixed up but there's not much that can be done other than pray that the traffic will be slightly better than what I've gotten accustomed too.
By the time i found myself in the temple the events had already started (i was later informed by Raj's brother that it had only been 15 minutes of chanting although the intro is usually one of the more enjoyable bits) - the 1500 or so friends and family were sitting and chatting, wandering around, far more relaxed than at a western wedding - I was grabbed by one of the brothers when I walked in (I don't know how he knew who I was ... I'd never met him before) and introduced to a few people whose names were not that hard to pronounce but have already slipped my mind - i tried to get a better vantage and was promptly escorted to the stage where I got a great view of the festivities - lots of chanting, lots of colour, lots of noise - and after a few hours of this it was meet the couple and go to lunch. The thing i like most about Indian weddings (and having been to two I can rightly claim a bit of expertise) is that they're so relaxed - no need to keep quiet when the priest is talking, no need to sit in an uncomfortable chair for too long (unless you're the bride or groom I suppose). The food afterwards was all veg (which Priyanka, the bride, explained was necessary for some reason) but very nice - i had some green stuff and some orange stuff and, feeling adventurous, some yellow stuff as well. The ice cream for desert had dried fruits hidden away in it which was less than pleasant and i'd learned my lesson regarding the palm leaves (Priti would approve, I'm sure). I met some of the fambly from both sides (expect that I will meet more at the reception tomorrow - and that will be a different experience I'm sure) and lots of the friends - i found I got hijacked mainly by some of the younger guys (and the wait staff) - all of them curious about my level of education (none at all!) and the bidness I was in and, of course ... the major question, which I'm thinking I will get a few more times on this journey ... Where is YOUR wife?

Songs of Earth

2011-06-25T13:55:00.001+10:00

I have to admit there was a slight uneasiness when it came to domestic
flights - after all, Indian flights have had a rash of issues (when it
comes down to crashes per person moved it's probably not that bad at
all) , but no problems with IndiGo's quick jump from Mumbai to
Hyderabad. My driver was not immediately apparent at the other end
and my phone was having trouble finding Airtel but after a little
confusion i was on my way to Songs of Earth - which is to be my
residence for the next few days. It seems as if I am the only person
actually staying here which means the vast host of staff are having
little trouble servicing all of my needs, which are small in any
event. A much more pleasant place to lay my head than the 3-star
comfort (which met all of my expectations and then some it must be
said) - very relaxing is one way I would describe this place as the
"activities" leave a little to be desired - there were quite a few
daytrippers who visit in the waking hours but I'm at a loss to work
out what this place is all about. Its pleasant, yes, but maybe I'm
missing something because there really doesn't seem to be much
happening at all. The grounds are vast and empty, maybe I'm here in
the off season (although the number of staff would say otherwise).
The economics of a developing country continue to baffle me - I've
seen it before - the toll booth is a perfect example - in Australia
where we had one person manning a toll booth the next step is to
replace that person with a machine, its quicker for everyone and yes
somebody loses their job when this happens, but was it really that
great a job anyway? Over here, there's three people per toll booth,
one person to collect the money, one person to write out the ticket
and manage the booth and another person to smile and talk and wander
around. At the hotel I'm spending a little bit but there is no way
that one room, a couple of meals and a beer is going to support the
dozen staff members who are constantly seeing that I have all I need.
One day I may understand it but the explanation that many in this
country are living on less than a dollar a day is the most likely (but
how do they all have phones then???)

It takes more than one sentence to describe Mumbai

2011-06-25T13:53:00.000+10:00

Spending 24 hours in airplanes and airports are never the best way to
prepare for anywhere - let alone somewhere like this place.
Accommodation more than adequate - my biggest critique of the hotel
would be the fact that the survey they gave me to fill out afterwards
was not a Likert scale of bad to good but a likert scale of below
expectations to above expectations ... my expectations were not that
high and therefore they met and even exceeded what they were (I do
dream of a day when I can eat 5-star scrambled eggs but it was not
this day).
Despite being somewhat inured to poverty after brief and extended
stays in places like phnom penh or vancouver this place takes a lot to
get used to. The slums are inescapable - they're at the airport, the
new city, the old city, even the national park (though luckily not in
the tiger and lion pens ... at least not now) - a bit of confusion
arose on the first day and Rakesh replaced Remminder as my personal
"driver" (note to self, you do not need a driver to negotiate a city,
even one like mumbai!) his english wasn't great and there's nothing
wrong with that (unless you're going to be a travel guide for an
Australian) - he did the obligatory shuttle towards a carpet salesman
but when sales weren't provided we moved on - saw a couple of the
sites (Gateway to India, that Mumbai hotel, the shopping mall! (which
like any good shopping mall in a developing country had metal
detectors and mirrors under the cars to ensure that the shopping
experience was the least explosive it could be). Like other
developing countries with cities with large populations the traffic is
something that has to be seen to be believed - my head was swimming
just trying to contemplate the Ehrlang calculations required to make
sense of it all, everyone keeps on moving, sometimes obeying the road
rules, often not, sometimes the cops were on hand to give a bit of
forceful direction and red lights were mostly obeyed. A three lane
road could take up to six vehicles, more if you include the bicycles -
and people would continually weave in and out, oblivious to the
honking (which was nowhere near as bad as some other places I've
experienced so that was a welcome relief). Saw Indian bureaucracy in
action - I suppose its good that helmets are compulsory ... for the
rider, they are, of course, forbidden for all of the other passengers
(often just one but I did see up to five although they were very small
passengers). The other rule which I managed to flout with surprising
little difficulty was the law around foreigners not being able to get
a SIM card without going through a mountain of paperwork - I started
the ball rolling with a Chinese phone salesman and even he decided it
was too much trouble and put it under his own name with strict
instructions for me to destroy it once I left the country. I know its
good to get away from the connection when I'm on holiday but
travelling with connectivity has its advantages - maps are much easier
to follow when you know where you are on one and Lonely Planet has no
place in my heart (Google does ... kind of). And once I did have a
phone I found it gave Raj (the only person who knows the number) ample
opportunity to check with me to ensure that everything was okay and
also to ensure he was able to give me constant instructions on how to
minimise the pain of dealing with India (thus far, not too bad).
In between my criss-crossing of the city in air conditioned comfort
(??) there were some interesting sites, and some interesting foods
(cheap restaurants were excellent - even though I was convinced i was
getting dirty looks for eating with my left hand, Indian ice cream was
pretty good, the palm leaves with lots of weird stuff smeared on them
by hand did leave a bit to be desired (everything about them was
against Dr Bhatt's rule book), perhaps it was them that required
infusion of immodium the next day but i wont blame anyone but myself.
The beaches are pretty (although dirty), the National Park was
beautiful (lion and tiger safari less so) and the birthday wishes
being plastered all over town to a very smug looking local politician
were very amusing (... our Dashing and Dynamic Leader). Did I like
this place? I don't know. Is it fascinating? Absolutely.
Depressing? For sure. Will I come back? ... maybe ...

Last Night In Sydney

2011-06-20T22:21:00.002+10:00

Last episode of Game of Thrones is coming down way too slowly - looks very likely that I'll be heading to Mumbai with only dreams of the visuals. I'm supposing its a good thing I've caught up (and overtaken) the ups and downs in the lands of the Seven Kingdoms.

I'm not really sure why I feel a slight guilt with leaving work stuffs behind but as only a rationalist can rationalise ... I'm really not that important when all is said and done, life will go on, SIOs will accumulate and marketing campaigns will do whatever the hell that marketing campaigns tend to do (nobody has told me what the fucking call to action is yet).

All i really need to do is work out which t-shirts will truly represent me over the next two and a half weeks and hope that all the antibodies that have been injected into my body can hold off the Solanum which is undoubtedly waiting for me on the other side. Huzzah.

This too shall pass

2010-04-05T14:01:00.001+10:00

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/This_too_shall_pass

For a more lively interpretation:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qybUFnY7Y8w

Anyone up for a little Surf'n'Turf action???

2010-03-16T09:19:00.002+11:00

WALSH(To the Duke) I'm gonna have the steak. How about you, John?

THE DUKE  I'm not hungry.

WALSH   Well, then, get the lobster so I can get a little surf-and-turf action goin'.

Bale and Whale
Bark and Shark (Korea)
Beef and Reef
Bell and Shell
Camel and Channel
Charolais and Botany Bay
Cud and Cod
Cuds and Suds
Dear and Spear
Flounder and 1/4 Pounder
Foal and Shoal
Gallop and Scallop
Gammon and Salmon
Goat and Moat
Grain and Drain
Ham and Clam
Hay and Spray
Hoof and Hook
Horn and Prawn
Kesp and Kelp (for vegans)
Kid and Squid
Lamb and Clam
Loam and Foam
Moose and Sleuce
Muscle and Mussel
Mutton and Gold Button
Paddock and Haddock
Porker and Orca
Quail and Sail
Ravine and River?
Rib and Jib
Seal and Reel
Shank and Tank
Shin and Fin
Ship and Shore
Skippy and Pippi
Snapper and Alpaca
Snout and Trout
Sod and Cod
Spam and Clam
Steak and Flake
Steak and Lake
Surf and Turf
Swine and Brine
Swine and Estuarine
Tail and Scale
Trotter and Otter
Udder and Rudder
Veal and Seal
Venison and Fort Denison
Vet and Net (Roadkill with Sardines)
Wrangler and Angler

(Acknowledgements to Mr John Stone for his valuable input)

A Dream Come True?

2010-03-09T21:32:00.000+11:00

Caveat Emptor!

2010-03-09T16:28:00.001+11:00

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Not telling
Date: Mon, Mar 8, 2010 at 11:27 AM
Subject: Re: Apartment on [domain.com.au] 185 Broadway Ultimo NSW 2007 -$300 p/w
To: Gary Keven <auslong@hotmail.com>

Hi Gary

I'm actually going to be in Milan later this week.

Can you give me your address over there and we can meet and I can grab the keys from you over there.

Thanks

On Mon, Mar 8, 2010 at 9:55 AM, Gary Keven <auslong@hotmail.com> wrote:

Obviously we need a way to complete this deal that will allow us to make sure we receive what we are after. I have found a way for us to complete the deal safe and fast, and in this way you will receive the Keys in less than 2 days, if you move fast as well. The solution is provided by a company called TNT which is similar to Fedex, DHL or UPS, which will handle the payment and delivery of the Keys.
I have found a procedure that will allow us to make a fast and safe deal and through this way you will see it and decide if you will stay in the apt or not before I receive my payment. Please click on the link bellow to the TNT website to see how we can complete the deal safely and fast directly from the website of the company where the procedure is explained:

http://www.tnt.com/express/en_gb/site/home/services.html

Let me know if you are interested please because I really need to take care of this matter by the end of the next week.
Regards,

On 3/8/2010 9:11 AM, ME wrote:

Hi Kevin

I am still looking but i would like to see the place before I sign any agreement.

Can you confirm the apartment number?

Regards

On Mon, Mar 8, 2010 at 3:51 AM, Gary Keven Long <auslong@hotmail.com> wrote:

Hello,

I still have the apartment for rent. But i am presently on transfer from my place of work to Milan/Italy to head our branch over there (I have the keys with me).
I hope you are still interested and we can make the deal happen right away.
Obviously we need a safe way to complete this deal that will allow us to make sure we receive what we are after.I have found a way for us to complete the deal fast (2 days) and easy. The solution is a worldwide delivery company called TNT. TNT is similar to FedEx, DHL or UPS and they will provide assistance in handling the payment and delivery of the Keys.With this procedure you will be able to check the apartment before I receive the payment. http://www.tnt.com/express/en_gb/site/home/services.html

Like I said, I will pay for a 2 days delivery so you will receive the KEYS and LEASE AGREEMENT right away.
Let me know what you think.

Thank you!

There's nothing wrong with lookin' like the Joker!

2010-03-05T15:43:00.001+11:00

http://www.smh.com.au/world/republican-party-document-caricatures-obama-appeals-to-fear-20100305-pnq7.html

Personally, I don't think there's anything wrong with being characterised as the Joker ...

Hit And Run?

2010-03-05T10:19:00.000+11:00

Those silly Israelis ... don't they realise that in Australia it doesn't count as a hit-and-run if you knock somebody off their bicycle ...

http://www.smh.com.au/world/monty-python-afp-team-slammed-after-hitandrun-20100304-plsz.html

President Still Smoking | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

2010-03-03T21:06:00.000+11:00

I'll quit when he does ...
http://www.theonion.com/content/amvo/president_still_smoking?utm_source=onion_rss_daily

Just because Robin Williams doesn't have a beard in a movie doesn't mean that it's not a Robin Williams beard movie

2010-02-26T17:31:00.001+11:00

Something You Love?

2010-02-26T10:18:00.001+11:00

http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/orlandos-seaworld-to-keep-killer-killer-whale-tilikum-even-after-death-of-dawn-brancheau/story-e6frf7jo-1225834595985

I love this line which always appears when somebody is killed whilst doing an activity they loved ...

"Brancheau, 40, died doing something she loved, her mother said."

Correction, Ms Brancheau's mother, she died failing miserably at something she loved.

Channel 7s 2010 Autumn Lineup

2010-02-24T08:27:00.000+11:00

On the back of their historic merger with heavy equipment firm WesTrac (http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2010/02/22/2826259.htm), Channel 7 have just announced their lineup featuring a plethora of dramas and reality shows that will be sure to dominate the ratings in 2010.

Monday
8pm - Me and My Tractor

Tuesday
7pm - The Biggest Tractor

Wednesday
8pm - Australian Tractor

Thursday
6pm - So You Think You Can Drive a Tractor?

Friday
8pm - My Tractor Rules

Saturday
630pm - Who Wants To Drive A Tractor?

Sunday
6pm - The Secret Life of Tractors

The lineup will emphasise the harmony of quality home-grown drama mixed with big, heavy equipment.

Bid your buyers down

2010-02-12T13:37:00.001+11:00

For anyone who is curious as to how to reduce their procurement costs here is an insightful article by an up'n'coming soon-to-be-Scientist.

Thank God ... truthfulness and honesty is Homer Hudson Ice Cream

2010-02-11T09:43:00.001+11:00

Dear Sir

We have received your inquiry regarding Homer Hudson Ice Cream. We hope to start getting Homer Hudson back into our stores shortly. The supplier of Homer Hudson Ice Cream has gone out of business. There is now a new supplier for these lines and once they have built up there supply then of stock then we will be able to order and supply out stores.

I hope this is of help to you.

Regards

Representative
Administration Assistant
Perishables - Frozen Desserts, Ice Cream,
Poultry and Smallgoods
Woolworths Limited

Family Tech Support

2009-12-11T10:30:00.001+11:00

Somebody truly understands ...

http://www.wired.com/magazine/2009/11/st_kia

I love my dad, but I'm going to lobotomize myself if I have to be his tech-support serf forever. When can I stop taking parental IT calls?

Having generously donated half your DNA, your pops is certainly entitled to some hand-holding as he navigates the frightening realms of Windows Vista and Facebook status updates. But if you're on the verge of jamming pencils into your frontal lobes, it's time to cut the cable.

That doesn't mean you need to go all unhelpful-IT-department on him ("Sorry, that is not supported"). Instead, says Laura Funk, a fellow at the University of Victoria's Center on Aging, "gently suggest that your father take some basic computer workshops. You could even offer to pay for them as a holiday present." Alternatively, on your next visit, walk dear old Dad through the basics of troubleshooting. And bring along one of those "For Dummies" books.

Then drop the hammer: If his hard drive starts screeching and smoking, sure, he can call. But short of that? He'll have to muddle through or call the Geek Squad. Tough love is still love; surely he gave you some of that, too.

The Scorpion And The Frog

2009-12-09T14:01:00.001+11:00

A scorpion and a frog meet on the bank of a stream and the scorpion asks the frog to carry him across on its back. The frog asks, "How do I know you won't sting me?" The scorpion says, "Because if I do, I will die too."
 
The frog is satisfied, and they set out, but in midstream, the scorpion stings the frog. The frog feels the onset of paralysis and starts to sink, knowing they both will drown, but has just enough time to gasp "Why?" 
 
Replies the scorpion: "It is in my nature..."

Daddy Y

2009-12-04T09:42:00.001+11:00

http://www.smh.com.au/national/meet-ychromosomal-adam-the-big-daddy-we-all-came-from-20091203-k8uv.html
He was not Mitochondrial Eve's 'usband ...

Anti-whalers swimming in hypocrisy

2009-12-02T14:43:00.001+11:00

http://www.smh.com.au/opinion/society-and-culture/antiwhalers-swimming-in-hypocrisy-20091126-juhb.html
An excellent article - makes me want to eat a whale burger ...

Another one bites the dust ...

2009-11-19T09:04:00.001+11:00

http://www.smh.com.au/national/its-last-drinks-at-the-abercrombie-and-punters-raise-a-toast-20091118-imjz.html

Personally, I'm not too fussed about the loss of the Abercrombie, just because it's old doesn't mean it's historic. But they better f**king leave the Clare where it is!

The Battle of Sydney

2009-11-15T12:27:00.001+11:00

Droid is coming

2009-10-18T20:04:00.003+11:00

I don't like to advertise corporate propaganda and, being an early adopter, I'm stuck in a contract with a while to go ... but I am a fan ...

Does anybody miss me?

2009-10-05T11:11:00.001+11:00

Have I resolved the issues of home? As close as they can be resolved save building a time machine to avert this journey in the first place. But time machines are difficult, the plutonium needed to run them is expensive and hard to come by and there's definitelyan easier way. As the heavens opened up to the drought stricken shire the familiar mutterings of it being good for the farmers were heard. It wasn't cold so the wetness didn't bother me as much as it may have done. My resistanal fortitude and strong moral fibre ensured that my intoxication was steady and manageable but the balkanus paprikus circle dance ensured that my body was broken down yet again. The last nights music was suitably entertaining, a touch too jazzy and self congratulatory for a cynic like me but hey, its global, what are you going to do?

Its not a struggle if you're winning

2009-10-04T10:45:00.001+11:00

http://mobile.theonion.com/site?t=HycvGfyBHVE199U07w58BQ&sid=onion

a relaxed man

2009-10-04T09:49:00.001+11:00

I've never been a morning person, getting up at a reasonable hour has always been a struggle, but I'm thinking that this must be a relative thing as both mornings that I've woken I've had hours alone waiting for my compatriots and most of the other festival goers (except for the overenthusiastic zenergetic practicioners who were up at the crack of dawn to balance their chakras ... or something ... but they're not really people who I can identify with too much, as hard as I'm trying). a few hours of solitude, broken only by the inane pleasant chatter of hippies was most welcome before Abell Tours took us out to one of the local beaches which was a bit windswept but still very nice, greasy fish n chips lined our stomachs prior to the liquid onslaught that would no doubt follow. Music was entertaining, african and local artists, a bit of rock, the inevitable jazz and reggae and, of course, a smattering of the female singer songwriter (what would we do without them). Not as immersive as the previous evening but still very nice - I managed to push through to the very end this time and after a nightcap was dead to the world, which was good as apparently the locals brawling outside kept everyone up till the wee hours. Its good to be a deep sleeper.

Carnivale

2009-10-03T09:15:00.001+10:00

After moving out of my house in centennial park (in a manner of speaking anyway) I started the long trip to the global carnival with a semi epic trek towards bondi junction, only epic due to the ridiculous size of the pack id decided on taking with me. Miscommunications about leaving times and the fact that some of our party had difficulties getting out of their places of employ meant it took a few hours before we were properly on our way in the last tarago in sydney. However, despite being relegated to the cattle class sections it was a relatively painless journey to the mid north coast where we spent the first evening being accommodated by our John Major's lovely parenta (I find it very difficult to shake the analogy of the man who ran away from the circus to become a politician with the boy who left the commune to become a banker).
The festival was yet to start so after checking into NSW's best backpackers TM we headed for the local swing rope enhanced watering hole, the journey only slightly marred by a slight scraping incident with a vehicle in a carpark. My delicate tootsies survived the razor sharp skipping stone shore and after being properly refreshed with immersion in water and consumption of pies and beer we finally made our way to the carnival. Now, I'm not exactly a festival type person and my mood was tempered with the responsibilities id left at home (and the stepdaughter, who I really think should have been there with me) but a drumming circle does have the potential to bring one around to the right mentality. As does beer, especially when the festival is sponsored by the messenger's choice of refreshment. Took a six year old on my shoulders so he could get a better view of the balkan fiddlers, just at the moment when they decided to start a stage wide circle dance which dragged us into its gravity well, unable to shirk the attachment to my neck, me and ade found ourselves whirling for what felt like hours, our spines slowly being compressed by the weight of boys which seemed to gather mass with each bow fiddle. I think I might enjoy this place.

Mission Accomplished

2009-09-27T21:55:00.002+10:00

After far too many weeks of faffing around at the wrong end of a paint brush major painting operations are now over. I can honestly say that the past weeks have not been the most enjoyable job I've had to endure but the finished product is rather satisfying (I do think I need to clean my camera lens though).

Just in case you need some perspective

2009-09-24T08:15:00.004+10:00

Patrick Swayze dead | Ghost | Dirty Dancing | US actor | Pancreatic cancer | smh.com.au | Sydney Morning Herald

2009-09-15T10:57:00.001+10:00

THE Swayze has just done a Swayze ... Rest in Peace, Patrick, you were better than your box office ...
http://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/people/patrick-swayze-dead-20090915-fog3.html

Usaver

2009-09-12T21:27:00.001+10:00

Who's that handsome man who is NOT maxed out?

Better (?) Photos of the 'Oliday

2009-09-04T19:24:00.000+10:00

Turkey Holiday

Photograms from the Turkish Holiday

2009-09-04T11:09:00.001+10:00

2009-09-04T08:31:00.001+10:00

Corey Mk II

2009-09-03T21:23:00.003+10:00

I'm too young to be living on the other side of this - a couple of days in a mindless fug of jetlag and other various frustrations not conducive to a sense of well being. You can't expect the world to have stopped while you're on holiday but this is ridiculous. Young people are assholes (ok, some of them).

I divorce you! I divorce you! I divorce you!

2009-09-01T06:18:00.001+10:00

Its been fun to have been married for th3 past three weeks but the novelty is over and the ring hurts my finger and despite my new surname being easier to pronounce I'd like to have the old one back.

Closing in

2009-08-31T15:48:00.001+10:00

A relatively short and mostly painless flight into Dubai, as our tickets for sydney were independently booked of our turkey-UAE flights we had to completely check out, go through passport control, out of customs, fight over whether I was allowed a cigarette in the dripping humidity then get a bus to the next terminal, check in, buy an overpriced breakfast and wander the purgatory that is an airport terminal for a few hours. I've gone through so many metal detectors and screeners that I've just removed my belt entirely and am walking at dangerous risk of flashing my well tanned thighs to all of the travellers. Eyes are drying out, body doesn't know what time zone its in, am going to be fuct on return. And then I'll have to deal with Sydney.

Next year? insillah

2009-08-31T13:39:00.001+10:00

We awoke to a city decorated with even more flags than usual. Up till now the only place with more national flags fluttering has been the US of A but on 30 august, victory day, istanbul has handily clinched that dubious honour. We had a late checkout, thankfully, as it took us the best part of an hour to arrange our acquisitions in a configuration that would allow the zips to close. Here's hoping that we don't get caught out with a weight violation on the Istanbul-Dubai leg of the journey home (I was reminded, reading the Poisonwood Bible that while airlines can be strict on baggage, they rarely weigh the passengers so we might be decked out with every t-shirt and pair of pantaloons we've got with us). The last museum of the trip was the old Sultan's palace and was definitely the highlight, the contents of the treasury are simply spectacular, classical treasures which you only expect to find in a d&d game with with a very generous dungeon master, egg sized emeralds, bejewelled swords and armour, the biggest and most ornate candlesticks I've ever seen and, of course, the 89 carat diamond whose name I've forgotten already that was originally found in a garbage dump and then sold for three spoons. I guess the finder, like me, wasn't a very good haggler. All of these items gifted and swapped amongst the royalty of the wider world, at least now they seem to be in possession of the "people". Decided to seperate for a while as I couldn't quite muster the enthusiasm for another venture into the western style malls of this town. The last day of a trip always feels quite strange to me, I end up wandering the areas that I'm now familiar, I feel that the spruikers realise I've been there for a while and are ignoring me now although perhaps its just me who is ignoring them but maybe not completely. In our last hours we still, bafflingly, acquired more stuff, and this was complimented by the fact that we probably ingested another couple of kilos of foods, foodstuffs and food related non foods. Somehow managed to schmooze our way onto the plane with all the extra kilos we've gained on this trip and there were no arrests for public disturbances either (which never go down well at airports).
As for returning to this country, as much as I've loved I can only hope that the travels take me back although returning to a country is always difficult when there are so many others I am yet to see. I surely hope I will because if I don't there's going to be a rug seller who will be very upset with me. Insillah.

To the end

2009-08-30T15:37:00.000+10:00

on Our first night in istanbul as we explored the local regions looking for someplace for eats we were assaulted by various spruikers including one place that served the ottoman special dish of testi kebab and according to the restaurant they were the only place in turkey that did it. Well, as we ranged further around the country we did find other places that served it but finally on our last night we made the decision to sample this local delicacy. A spicyish stew cooked in a sealed amphora that is broken open by the waiter with a firey show. Our waiter explained in between his flourishes that ocean's 7 was the ONLY place that did a true testi kebab and everyone else just copied them, I wasn't to argue but it was definitely a meal highlight in a country of great meals. I caught an excellent YouTube moment of the show but it appears that tech issues may have resulted in the Android's storage card being fried and all of the content including music, photos and videos being lost (shades of similarity with losing my entire photo collection from SE asia in 2005) but at least there's alternative sources for memories, including my brain which is the only real storage medium for memories and it will be a little while before that storage zone is fried, I hope.
After eating we wandered up to the square where we were assaulted with Ramadhan celebrations, whereas it appeared that all of Istanbul had converged in Taksim a few weeks ago, it appeared that all of Turkey had moved to Sultanahmet on Saturday night. I suppose you could compare it to the easter show but millions of people flocking in for a religious celebration is kind of amazing. Every age group was there, it seemed very secular with picnics in every spare piece of ground, hundreds of food stalls and nargile zones and music pumping through the crowds. A bit claustrophobic but very happy, energised and friendly. It almost felt like turkey was gathering for a goodbye party.

Hagia Sophia

2009-08-30T00:12:00.001+10:00

Tick Tick Tick!

2009-08-30T00:09:00.001+10:00

Our second to last day and it is a day to cover the bases of Istanbul. Visit the Hagia Sophia for some culture? Tick! Visit the underground cistern for some history? Tick! Get back to the bazaar for some poorly negotiated souveneiring? Tick!
Well, for the most part whatever we've bought, while we may have paid more than we could have we still have paid less than what we might have paid in Australia. Where was Tilly when all this was happening? I am going to be very happy to return to a place where the price I see is the price I pay - even after my turns in South East Asia I have never sympathised so much with Brian of Nazareth.
Perhaps it was the negotiations, perhaps the extended bus trip followed by a late night nargile or maybe its just the fact that we're on the tail end of our journey but I haven't felt so physically wrecked since arriving. There's lots more to do as there always is but I'm sure some of it can wait.

Troy

2009-08-29T16:17:00.001+10:00

From the site of one battle to another. watched the continually screening Peter Weir movie, Gallipolli, after the visit which seems to be an institution of hostels on the travelling circuit (the Killing Fields runs every night in most hostels in Phnom Penh) and had an early wakeup call to cross the Dardenelles to see the site of the other great siege of the region (praise be that we didn't have to watch the film adaption of that particular battle). Our guide was a very spiritual aging hippie who was not only very knowledgeable about the history of Troy but also of the various positive and negative energies that pervaded the area. Personally, I couldn't feel them but perhaps a little meditation may have helped. There were no fewer than three replica horses in the area, the best of which was the plastic one donated by the makers of the film (pictured). A rather whirlwind tour of the site as we had to jump on the bus taking us back to the heart of the country if we were to avoid having to cram into the alternative transport, a sardine can masquerading as a vehicle. Got friendly with a local sydney guy and evangelised my principality to him (he may join us on his return) and after returning to istanbul attempted another try of the ubiquitous nargile with slightly better results than previous goes. The end is drawing close and Sydney and its issues are crystalising but they are not upon us yet.

He that giveth also taketh away

2009-08-29T02:58:00.001+10:00

Despite the warnings from the internet message boards and the local cellphone representatives I was hoping that the my android would not be cut off 10 days after purchasing the local SIM card ... but it did. for a few days I was reduced to relying on the not infreuent hotspots that litter the country but yesterday, perhaps from a fortuitous configuration of sunspots my connectivity returned. My phone still claimed to have no service at all yet chats, tweets and emails flooded to me. I wasn't one to argue with this good fortune but I used what was given to me until this morning, when I turned off the android as we headed to the city of Troy to save power (the battery is the achilles heel of this device, which was rather poetic as Achilles himself was buried just over the hill) and when I turned back on the mysterious connection was gone. Struggled through various configurations but it was not to be.

Our Mecca?

2009-08-28T03:48:00.000+10:00

Wasn't completely certain as to whether we'd be making the Australian (and kiwi) pilgrimage to the Dardenelles but we realised it would be a time before we did return to Turkey and knew it should be done. A long awaited victory in the principality of Catan preceded an early wakeup call (we've just been started edging towards the semblance of a sleep-in) and we took another journey on one of Turkey's superb buses (??) towards the site of Australia's greatest defeat. The tour was very long with many stops but once we managed to crack Hasan's challenging accent it was very informative and very emotional. I've always tried to pride myself on trying to get a balanced view of things and it is only from the Turk's themselves that one can get their side of this story. From the museum with its contrasting letters to home from the Australian conscript and the Turkish martyr to the site of the landings at Anzac Cove (who could have possibly thought that it was a potential landing site?) to the memorial to the greatest eulogy ever said and the cemeteries scattered all over the point, it truly is a holy place. And not just for us, we may have gone over as Brits and returned as Australians and New Zealanders but a part of modern Turkey, distinct from the Ottoman Empire was also forged on these battlefields. I've grown up being taught the larrikin spirit and defiant nature of the diggers at Gallipoli but the memorials show the humour and strength of the thousands of Turks who also fought there and as one Mehmet reminded me, 'they came to invade, we came to defend'. One of the few great conflicts where such carnage was conducted by such 'gentlemen'.

Back to Istan-bull

2009-08-26T20:34:00.001+10:00

Taking too much advantage of the bright mediterranean light resulted in two bright red australians (I do have a fondness for red but this was pushing the boundaries) but if history repeats itself I'm hoping that it will fade to brown before our return. We went back to town via the excellent public transport system where we decided to split so I could swap some books out and try to find the elusive Tütün local tobacco shop (no luck there) and louisa could look for more ways to take up my dwindling baggage allowance (I'm a big believer in having the right bag for the right occasion but there is a limit). Managed to find enough literature to last me through the rest of the trip, settling on Child of God by Cormac McCarthy (ooooh, very good! Very good! According to Jamal, the very well read proprietor) and the Poisonwood Bible (also very good! Very good!) and traded back the baffling Image of the Beast and its sequel which I managed to conclude before we finished we skipped out of town. despite living out of the 'wife's' pocket for two weeks the amount of usual bickering has been surprisingly low, especially in light of the dramas unfolding half a world away and the only real issue seems to be how much walking one of us has been prepared to do. Despite a warning that we would not be walking to the beach, the smattering of clothes shops that lined the boulevard enabled me to coax someone out of the comfort zone and out to the commercialised beach zone which was very pretty, if somewhat lacking in sand, surf and many of the other things that I think of when walking along the coast. But there's only so long that I can cope with a resort lifestyle and we shall soon be heading back to the heart of Turkey, having missed its brain.

Who knows what horrors lie behind the door of room 101

2009-08-26T15:25:00.001+10:00

2009-08-25T21:25:00.001+10:00

Sitting by the pool at a mediterranean resort should be a very relaxing, if somewhat cheesy, way to spend one's time. Of course it would be if euro disco music weren't blaring non stop. Not only that but the hotel seems to only have one CD and its on constant replay. to top it off the phillip jose farmer books I acquired yesterday were less engrosing than expected and have already been finished, who'd have thought that the deviant sexual adventures of intergalactic species posing as werewolves and vampires in a smog choked los angeles would be as exciting as I thought?

Just chill, man

2009-08-25T17:28:00.001+10:00

Having underestimated the amount of reading I would have been doing on this trip I've spent a fair amount of time invetigating the few bookstores that happen to sell english language tomes with very limited success. There was a 2nd hand place in the hostel sector of sultanahmet in istanbul but he seemed to specialise in barbara taylor bradford and the D&R stores were only useful if one was after the twilight series but with the aid of google I managed to locate Owl Books hidden deep in the bowels of the Antalyan bazaar behind Hadrian's Gate. a very good collection of all english books, with most of them read by the proprietor, a vrry hospitable if somewhat slothful man (he was very much looking forward to the film version of the Amber Spyglass with its living bicycles, the mulefa (at least that's the part I'm looking forward to)) and it seems that I've got enough literature to tide me over to sydney now.
Unfortunately when we decided to relax with a cafe afterwards (we've both hit the wall when it comes to turkish coffee now) I realised that my cigarello fixings had been left behind at one of the shops wed visited and with a fair amount of panic I hightailed it back into the bazaar. A brief moment where I decided to run was almost instantly stopped by a small kerb where I stubbed my toe for the first time in 20 years. It hurts. A lot. Really, it f**king hurts. But, the eczane sorted me out and an hour of tracking managed to recover the sweet nicotine from oz (some people can't comprehend the subtle differences in smoking methods and brands). Unfortunately the turkish cellular network decided that they didn't want my phone on the network (I was warned that this may happen after 10 days) so the google assisted travel is mostly at an end. If my understanding of louisa is correct there will be no wandering of cityscapes looking for hotspots but I know where they are in the hotel districts so I won't be cut off completely. Still trying to take in the medidative qualities of the mediterranean and ignoring what's happening on the other aide of the world.

The wheels on the bus

2009-08-24T16:34:00.001+10:00

Another 13 hours of rolling through the night in the turkish countryside got us to the mediterranean. Sleep came in snatches and involved both of us dreaming of earthquakes and explosions. The bus was half empty which was good as there were a fair few broken seats and we were able to sprawl out a bit although I did wake to find myself sharing with one of the attendants, a bit disconcerting when you're half blind and delirious from broken sleep. Upon arriving there was a bit of confusion with the issue of transferring to the otel and we were told to wait here then wait there then go over there and after an hour of frustration and multiple phone calls on dwindling credit and battery life we ended up taksi-ing to an average otel with a spectacular view, just the place to shift out thoughts of wayward teenagers and irresponsible exes (although I still cannot believe I'm living in such a cliche ... its like a bad sitcom). Plunged into the mediterranean for the first time (I did dip a toe in the middle of winter back in '98 but that doesn't count) and worked on a suntan whilst churning through the worst cathedral building historical epic I've ever read. We decided to bus it into town, checked with the driver to make sure we were on the right one but weren't sure where to get off. Forty minutes later as we meandered through the outskirts of antalya we finally plucked up the courage to ask whether we'd gone too far (we had). No matter, the bus was on a loop and our 15 minute ride turned into a (very cheap) 90 minute tour of the city. Sampled overpriced local fish and tried on fake trainers, avoided the ubiquitous germans (although I've been thinking we might be able to find someone to have a game of settlers with, let THEM feel the wrath of the lady ...)

The Valley of the Penises

2009-08-23T19:20:00.005+10:00

... officially known as the valley of the mushrooms

Johnny, have you ever stayed in a Turkish prison?

2009-08-23T19:20:00.003+10:00

Apparently a good place to buy carpets ...

Have YOU ever considered a camel ride?

2009-08-23T19:20:00.001+10:00

2009-08-23T05:02:00.001+10:00

As was expected slightly less walking on the second day's tour with a visit to what definitely seemed to me to be the valley of the giant penises, a pottery factory where someone was not able to resist the lures of the local ceramics (but as I've always said you can never have enough platters) and, of course, a carpet manufacturers where we were able to resist although I have to admit I was very taken with the undyed carpets that were made with a combination of white, brown and baa baa black sheep wool. Howeverm due to the wonders of international roaming we were slightly disconcerted when we received a call from the parent of one of the ward's friends' parents asking for confirmation that her daughter was going to a sleepover at our house that night. Brushed it off, thinking it must have been a mistake as she was evidently not in our care. The second call from another parent aroused our suspicions slightly and we attempted a call back to sydney to get the low down on what was going on. The third call from sydney was not from another parent but from constable mcgregor from surry hills police station informing us that they'd just had to break up a 250 teenager strong party at our house. I've never had 250 people turn up to any part that I've held, even the well received 'back to the future' bash only collected a 70 or so (and that included our parents which this one obviously didn't). Well, I've been assured that chevette, puck, hermaphrodite and the unnamed TT weapon are unharmed and there's really very little to be done from this side of the planet except plan an elaborate punishment and try to see the amusing side of the story. Trying to negotiate an investigation by phone meant we almost missed the open air museum tour and we had to fight our way through the ticket booths and rush through it but it was mostly churches (all defaced by the greeks according to our tour guide) and id already started to feel a bit templed out but a timely local hamam scraped away the worries of the world (and more than a few layers of skin) and we decided that the australian problems could wait a few more weeks because we're in Turkey.

2009-08-22T04:28:00.001+10:00

Once again, the misleading local pricing (the numbers can refer to either lira, euros, us or australian dollars ... generally whateverls worst for the tourist) meant an overpriced hamam was our last experience of istanbul but was well cleansed for the back breaking, neck creaking, leg twisting overnight bus journey to cappadocia. Just in case we had any regrets for not shelling out for plane tickets the kindly tour operators indulged the fantasy by ordering mobile phones off because they interfered with the breaking system, provided realistic turbulence and even inflight entertainment that ranged between ultra violent local soccer and a 4hr epic local musical variety show. Managed to survive and get to the hotel for 15 minutes before being picked up again for some cappadocian tourism. A bit of walking around the ruins which despite being up to 3000 years old were either still in use or had only been vacated in the last 30 years and unlike any western tour with all those pesky rules to limit liability we were allowed to risk our necks by climbing right up into the tunnels and caves ... its like no other place I've ever seen, an entire city literally carved out of the volcanic rock.
Returning to the virtually deserted hotel we decided to eat in ... no menu, just a very nice home cooked (but evidently authentic turkish) meal prepared by the one staff member there. Felt a bit bad as he'd been fasting all day for the first day of ramadhan while he was cooking our meal but as soon as the sun dropped the city wide speakers blared out the prayers signifying that he, the city (and all of the other observant muslims in this timezone for that matter) could break out the pides and beer (so maybe they weren't that observant after all).

Four beautiful ladies

2009-08-21T17:32:00.001+10:00

Three beautiful ladies

2009-08-21T17:29:00.001+10:00

The sisters of the 3 sisters?

View from thre star 'otel

2009-08-21T16:05:00.000+10:00

Regards Sax
sent from my gPhone

Traveller or tourist?

2009-08-21T01:14:00.001+10:00

http://mobile.smh.com.au/article.action?articleid=688872&section=top

I'm evidently one of the tourists the author is bemoaning here, crying out for the good old days when he was the only foreigner brave enough to visit those countries that gave him an authentic experience. Is it a pity that travel has become cheap enough for it to be experienced by nearly all of us? Does he want all the 3rd world countries to resist adopting modern technology so that he can enjoy the old world? I for one think travelling has been enhanced immeasurably by being able to remain connected, I can always choose to ignore the things from home that would worry me. Having to share my travels with busloads of compatriots and other nationalities is simply a fact of life in this era of cheap flights and porous borders. And I still bitch about the bedbugs.

2009-08-20T04:46:00.001+10:00

Ticked off another box by visiting the islamic museum of science and technology, not a bad place to visit although the fact that the entire collection consists of stuff from between 1000 and 1500 (thereabouts) does say a bit about the stagnation the culture's progress. Lots of astrolabes, mathematical equations and the physics section is something that will certainly be amazing when its finished (dozens of working models of engineering marvels that unfortunately don't work just yet). There were a bunch of models that were obviously meant to be hands on (everything else was covered in glass) but when I tried to set the perpetual motion machine into perpetual motion a surly guard told me to stay away. I've already decided that I don't want to get on the midnight express so I readily complied. Thinking it might be nice to get away from the heavily spruiked bazaars we tried a few of the gigantic malls on the urbanised side of town and they were just as soulless as anything in the west. The keens ripoffs sourced in dubai have proved to be exceptionally painful to the feet (my dogs are barking!) and both of us were suitably wrecked upon our return. There's a second hand buy/sell/swap bookstore a few blocks away from where we're staying, I checked it out a few days ago and made a second determined attempt this afternoon - I just finished rereading Dune (after watching the two major adaptations in relatively quick succession) which is a superb book in any event (although I recall the sequels being less so) but perfectly suited for reading over here with the desert fremen and arrakis drawing heavily from islamic culture but was I able to find dune messiah anywhere? Not even close. The bookstore is full of english books but the collection seems to consist of nothing but the absolute worst of airport fiction and more barbara taylor bradford's than you'd see at 2am on channel 9. I had to whip my companion like a MBA certified 1 minute manager to finish the 'cathedral @ the sea' so i'd have something to tide me over until I can find another bookstore but its not looking hopeful (I forgot how reliant my travels have been on the MS Reader app in the trusty iPAQ). My negotiating skills got a workout in the evening, whilst I wasn't able to negotiate myself out of the leather store I did manage to scrape some sheckels off the price which I'm hoping I won't regret.

My fountain is bigger than your fountain

2009-08-19T05:02:00.001+10:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SDXIfwoTHYk

2009-08-19T04:57:00.001+10:00

The only time I've ever seen a scene like this was when I was in amsterdam (and truth be told that memory is a little fuzzy although I can't for the life of me understand why). Istanbul has about 20 million people or so I've heard and I think all of them were strolling down iskatel st with us. A nice alternative to the old city where we've spent most of our time, lots of shops and restaurants. The street that Time Out assured us was where the locals ate was, shockingly, full of turistas like us and was as overpriced and spruiked as anywhere else we've been but I've long since given up on the idea that my type of tourism is any better than the masses. We did manage to see a little bit of culture by visiting the left breast of istanbul's cleavage and tried a new epicurean delight of chocolate soaked baclava, trawled down the bosphorus and found a slightly less intimidating area of the markets (these ones sold guns and tobacco amongst other things). Recovery took the form of the settlers of catan card game, we'd tried to play previously in marathon 4 hour session (hell, I've done marathons that were shorter than that) that ended when someone made an illegal play, backtracked, forgot where she was and then conceded (????). This time the lady claimed her principality proper and the noble laird once again learned his place.

The Travellers of Catan

2009-08-17T23:04:00.001+10:00

Someone couldn't work out the air conditioner at 3 in the morning and decided that opening the balcony door was the best way to provide solace not realising that outside was 30 degrees and the we were in the cleavage of istanbul, prime location for hearing 5am morning prayers being blasted into the ears of anyone sans earplugs. Another day of market trawling and I was getting a little tired of revealing my australian nationality and getting gdays and anecdotes about kangaroos and poisonous snakes and spiders so we revealed ourselves as residents of the fair isle of catan (we kept our titles as laird and lady to ourselves). It backfired a bit when the shop owners started interrogating us about the details but at least I could give some detail of our principality's resources, rich in ore, wood, brick, sheep and grain. It also helped that he'd discovered a place he'd never heard of only the week before (the isle of man). I managed to resist the hard sell although I am very tempted to return for a red leather jacket (I'm partial to red) which is more than I can say for the wife who is quite partial to spending. A shrewd negotiator she may be, I wish we had tilly here to bargain on our behalf.
And also after much gnashing of teeth the rather superb customer service of vodafone turkey got me up and running with data (oh precious data, I am truly addicted) which means I will be leaving behind the twee advice of lonely planet and becoming a traveller powered by google ...

Mosque bleu

2009-08-17T15:20:00.001+10:00

Seat 12a!

2009-08-17T14:52:00.001+10:00

It was with a resigned pessimism that I requested a bulk head seat when we checked in @ 6 in the morning for TK1165. Of course they were all taken and there wasn't even an aisle for one leg to sprawl into but at least row 12 was close to the front. I wasn't really disappointed because I've long given up on getting leg room while flying so imagine my amazement to find that there is no seat in front of seat 12a (neither 12f for that matter) and I could literally sprawl. Its events like this that make flying tolerable. And now that we're out of the sauna that is dubai and in a place that has the weather you want on a holiday. Hoped to work out some data issues but have not found myself truly mobile yet although I've been assured its possible.
First thins first when arriving in turkey after a shrewdly negotiated bus ride into istanbul and that is obviously having a muddy turkish cafe, which I love although ill bet ill be gasping for a nescafe before this trip is done. Its a great wandering place at first impression, if nothing else the humidity is within human tolerance levels and the spruikers are no worse than any other tourist infested city. I'm sure if I wanted a rug, platter or water pipe i'd have no issues finding one, right now I'm negotiating how much my 22 spare kilos of baggage space is worth to my ladyfriend. Its got to be able to be translated into something of value, no?

Can your iphone do this?

2009-08-16T12:35:00.001+10:00

Regards Sax
sent from my gPhone

By law or bylaw?

2009-08-16T12:20:00.005+10:00

These signs are scattered all over dubai yet many of the restaurants and lobbies not only have people flagrantly disobeying but they also have ashtrays actively subverting the message. Smoking is a disgusting habit, I know, but the middle east is one of the last bastions where a smoker is not a pariah. Its changing, sure, but, like mad men, at least its giving us memories of a different time.

2009-08-16T12:20:00.003+10:00

Its not the heat, its the humidity. This place seems to take that statement to the next level. Every time i ve stepped outside it feels like I'm being hit with a sleedgehammer of heat but every time we go back inside the air conditioning chills to the bone and I find myaelf hopping back and forth trying to equalise my core.
the city seems to be a theme park for adults. This is what you get with most unlimited money and no oversight to drag back the excessive imagination of the architects. Fake islands, huge buildings, cheap cars and cheap petrol to fuel them. And according to our tour guide there's no crime, no pollution, no drugs. Well, no worries then! Its hard to accept that taxis are just about the only transport available to us tourists.. they're not that expensive but it certainly adds up and whilst everything is somewhat subsidised by the royal family's vast wealth on th whole things are a lot cheaper than they could be and we're not even residents or ...citizens.
The social mores are interesting, I'm paranoid about offending the morality police who I've been told lurk around every corner but I haven't managed to offend anyone other than my travelling partner and I rarely go a day without doing that anyway. As part of the jetlag push our local friend, the second of the nightmare of ravens I've known, took us out to an authentic arabic restaurant (id be very surprised to find an inauthentic one in the UAE) followed by an expat filled beer barn celebrating all that is obnoxious about the international subculture. A lot more enjoyable than I ever thought it would be. Well, I think it cured the jetlag anyway although it can always come back to bite you. A bit more sensible on the second day, heat hadn't alleviated at all but at least we saw some things we came to see ...

Early impressions

2009-08-16T12:20:00.001+10:00

Long haul plane journeys are trying at the best of times and once again I was denied the exit row but I still managed to get a smattering of restive sleeps only broken by stewardesses and passengers crashing into my left leg that sprawled into the aisle. A little bit of dreamy hallucination interjected with the worst of hollywood from the in flight entertainment absorbed the 14 hours quite nicely. Attempted to push through the jetlag by wandering the dead streets of deira. Perhaps its the hotel's locale, maybe Friday morning is not the best time to see anything in the middle east but my first impressions are that of a ghost town more populated by indians than arabs. Its only been a few hours thus far and am certain that there will be more to come.

So is he

2009-08-13T20:02:00.001+10:00

She's about to leave on a jetplane

2009-08-13T20:00:00.001+10:00

With thumbs

2009-08-13T19:54:00.001+10:00

Blogging with your thumbs seems like an enormously painful method, I have to say thawt I have extremely fond memories of my ipaq 4150 with infrared keyboard which is still the most effective ultra portable I've ever owned. I expect grammar and punctuation to plummet and content will have extreme brevity but potentially will be richer.

The Tralevlogue Starts Again

2009-08-13T17:51:00.001+10:00

Since settlement I've been learning the arts of painting a house from a wise artisan. My standards will never be as high as his but they're worthy aspirations. But for now, the painting will have to wait as the lurching progress of the professional renovators dig in and I will be heading to the middle east, first in the hub that is UAE and then not to the place that divides the West and Islam but where Islam and the West come together. I think this could be a good opportunity for a travelogue (and potentially one more live than ever if I can get a SIM card that works over there) ...

Steinbeck couldn't have said it better

2009-08-10T09:22:00.001+10:00

http://mobile.nytimes.com/article?a=418830&f=112

Unemployed Man Getting Really Good At Unemployment | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

2009-08-07T19:31:00.001+10:00

I think I'm getting worse rather than better ...
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/unemployed_man_getting_really_good?utm_source=onion_rss_daily

Am I A Mad Man?

2009-08-05T23:29:00.001+10:00

The first bike I owned was a Malvern Star. The last bike I owned was a Malvern Star.
A legend is the human actions that have taken place in history that defy ...
An Australian bike the equal of any in the world. An Australian cyclist the equal of any.
The best cyclist in the world , a bike the equal of any. Australian
Oppy was a rider the equal of any in the world, Malvern Star Oppy is a bike the equal of any.
It is said that legends are born and not made. This legend is made.
Some legends are born. Some legends are made.

Flounder On A Chessboard

2009-07-30T18:31:00.002+10:00

I was always curious as to whether this was actually true ... praise be to the Internet (and Italian wildlife shows that PETA wouldn't approve of).

The Dangers of Changing Your Man

2009-07-29T17:34:00.001+10:00

It doesn't matter whether you are a bike courier in Australia or a President of France the machinations of the female are bound to cause issues ... Why can't they leave us as they find us???
http://www.smh.com.au/world/carlas-draconian-diet-blamed-for-sarkozys-collapse-20090729-e0fk.html

Contador refuses to bite on LeMond's 'clean' challenge - tourdefrance - Sport

2009-07-25T10:12:00.001+10:00

Being a relative newcomer to the tour I'm not completely qualified to make or defend the accusations that fly regarding the doping scandals. But LeMond's extrapolation of cheating by deducing the VO2 max of Contador seems a bit underhanded. Certainly, if I was given a question which basically implied cheating I'd probably not answer it either. Since Mr LeMond was reputed to have one of the highest VO2 max scores ever (92.5?) it's understandable that he's a bit obsessed with this stat but the claim that nobody's had one higher than 99 is a bit misleading - Bjørn Dæhlie supposedly had a score of 96 in his off season with the researcher's claiming it was possibly over 100. Contador has shown himself to be the strongest cyclist in this race so maybe he does have the highest VO2. But as any statistician will tell you - correlation and extrapolation is no guarantee of knowing anything - there are always outliers on the edges that defy the hypotheses. Maybe Contador has taken something illegal or, more likely, he's trained in the grey area of legality, regardless, he's looking likely to win and it should be left up to the drug testers to determine whether he's cheated and not stat obsessed former champions.
http://www.smh.com.au/news/sport/tourdefrance/contador-refuses-to-bite-on-lemonds-clean-challenge/2009/07/24/1247942049092.html

Mulefa

2009-07-17T17:37:00.002+10:00

This is the first mulefa I've seen that actually seems plausible and it's animated!

http://www.ericdubois.com/3dsamples/mulefa/mulefa_walk8loop_1b.mov

No one said it was going to be easy

2009-07-14T10:53:00.001+10:00

http://mobile.nytimes.com/article?a=402284&f=113

Regards Sax
sent from my gPhone

Win-Win!

2009-07-09T17:49:00.000+10:00

Thanks to a bit of assistance from those in the industry can now legitimately claim to be a freelance "journo" (that's what journalists call themselves).

Now That's A Burger!

2009-07-09T13:57:00.001+10:00

After the previous day's debacle at finding a truly great hamburger I found myself in Newtown, having born witness to the shrewd bargaining skills of my ladyfriend at a residential orction - a celebration was needed and despite my ladyfriend's complete lack of expertise and judgement in choosing the perfect burger I managed to convince her to go to the Fuel for sustenance. Step 1 was convincing her to go there and step 2 was convincing her to try to utilise the combo bargains on offer. Whilst BurgerFuel does not offer a combo for the 1/3 pounder with cheese it does offer one for the 1/8 pounder. So, I ordered an 1/8 pound combo and immediately heard a shrieking, 'I don't want a combo! I don't drink Coke and I don't eat chips!' (I ignored the bald face lie part of the statement and tried to quickly explain whilst dealing with the service attendant that I was going to eat the combo and she was going to have the burger). Having been in this situation before I found it prudent to deal with the ladyfriend rather than just barge ahead with my well intentioned plan and it did work dividends. Oh, and what a surprise, she ate the chips. But as a burger what a magnificent one it is - toasted, slightly wheaty bun that completely contains the juicy (yet still well cooked) patty and a saucy relish that is warmed by the bread and meat it accompanies - not straight out of the fridge and on the side like most cafes serve the butter for their toast. I am yet to try the mythical In'N'Out but if it is, as some say, the best in the world and therefore better than my local legendary Fuel then what an amazing meal that would be.

The First Smoker

2009-07-09T08:34:00.001+10:00

http://www.theonion.com/content/amvo/president_obama_still_smoking
Truth be told, it does make me feel a little bit better to know that I share a bad habit with him.

Official Google Blog: Introducing the Google Chrome OS

2009-07-08T15:39:00.001+10:00

Well, this does look interesting. The Mac experiment was fun for a while but I still find myself drifting back to Windows - now, if only Google could get Spreadsheets and Documents to work like Excel and Word ... I'd be very happy.
http://googleblog.blogspot.com/2009/07/introducing-google-chrome-os.html

Jilted Hasbro CEO Laughs Coldly As Scrabble Destroys Another Relationship | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

2009-07-08T10:45:00.001+10:00

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/jilted_hasbro_ceo_laughs_coldly_as?utm_source=onion_rss_daily
I wonder if Klaus Teuber is cackling away at me?

The Good Burger?

2009-07-07T23:10:00.001+10:00

Market research is never an enjoyable way to spend time - there's always too many people who love the sound of their own voice and everyone tries to throw in sly boasts about themselves that don't really interest anyone else (good for you, prime minister's EXECUTIVE assistant!) but they can work out to be cost effective. Keeping things efficient, while we were in the neighbourhood, me and the boys decided to try the new burger joint, The Counter. The menu from the web site seemed gourmet but not too gourmet - and the very salty kumera fries seemed to bode well for what was coming. An interesting method of ordering - a tick the boxes menu with a mix of traditional and relatively unique ingredients was a bit disconcerting - too many choices of traditional and "premium" extras and far too many sauces - there were some standards on the menu but they didn't really appeal. I'm not a big fan of the build your own burger - I always end up putting things on that I like individually or I like in other burgers but don't really gel when they're put on in the combinations I choose. I want someone else to design my hamburger - if there's something on it I don't like or something extra I want I can always change the order. The vast variety of ingredients that can go into a hamburger means an almost infinite variety of burgers but in truth there is only a very FINITE number of great burger designs - The Third Pounder with Cheese (from BurgerFuel), the classic Milk Bar with beetroot is another, even the Big Mac for all its faults is a brilliant design, having conquered the world. The problem was not the combination, I don't think, the bun was cold and not toasted, the sauces were substandard (and I had to apply them myself!), the patty was too thick and too raw (truth be told, I had ordered a big one and we were warned it was only medium) and in the end the whole thing was just way too thick and it almost fell to pieces as I struggled to wrap my laughing gear around it. It needed to be flatter (a Doofer wouldn't have gone astray although I don't think there's been a Doofer constructed that would hold this monstrosity). The decor was eminently forgettable but I could get a beer and the waitress was nice. These things are not important when it comes to enjoying the sandwich - don't get me wrong, it was tasty, it was a good burger but it wasn't a great burger.

Creepy

2009-07-07T12:30:00.000+10:00

At one level this is kind of amusing and impressive but at all others it's just disturbing.